- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
i get where youre coming from! i know how frustrated you are but i also know how bad reassurance is for you in the long run. either way, i’ll give you this; being TRULY suicidal (and not just being unlucky and having suicidal thoughts in the context of ocd) is an active choice. its like looking in the fridge when youre about to make lunch. you’ll weigh your options and then pick what you want. no anxiety there. suicidal people arent scared of their suicidal thoughts, because they want to. you have suicidal thoughts, but they dont mean youre suicidal. it means you have suicidal thoughts and nothing more. but you clearly dont want to even have the impression of the thoughts there, and even far from do you want to actually plan suicide and go througj with it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My dear friend, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. Your fear of these thoughts tells me that you are not actually suicidal. I believe this is all OCD. I know the thoughts are hard, but they say nothing about who you are. You’re going to get through this❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you so much girls, it’s just so extremely hard when you can’t tell if you are suicidal and if you’re not and if it’s just OCD, it seems so real when I tell myself, no I don’t care I’m just going to end it all, I know I want to live but when I have those thoughts of going thru with it, it makes me second guess everything. I hope this is just a bump in the road and not something that I am actually having to deal with I hate this so much I’m so tired ;(
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@holytropical! Did you find any tips for this?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey guys, I know this is an old thread but this is a huge theme of my OCD and I was wondering if anyone wants to correspond via email about how you deal with it. Could really use some support in 2020.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have this theme too
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hey I have this kind of OCD!!! We can talk together about this if you’d like! I’m having a very hard time myself
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I completely empathize with you. I am kind of in the same boat, I have times where I really struggle to believe it’s OCD and I feel like i’m actually dealing with suicidal ideation. But what I try to do, it’s just to repeat to myself “maybe it’ll happen, and maybe it won’t, guess i’ll have to find out” and then i try to move on with my day as much as I can. OCD for me can be a minute by minute disorder, where on my bad days, I might have to remind myself every few minutes “yep, might happen” and just move on
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ve had this exact same thing (literally laughed reading your post because it describes everything I’ve gone through to a T) for about 7 months now! It gets better, I promise. I know it sucks right now. I still have bad days but I’m better at understanding them in the context of OCD. Getting diagnosed helped because I realized that obviously they weren’t real thoughts - it was just the OCD! I try to remind myself that every time I get an intrusive thought. I felt so alone before finding out that suicidal OCD is a thing, so communities like this are so helpful. Hope this helps you a bit.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
How did you recover?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m so glad I came across this. It described how I feel exactly.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i’m dealing with this rn i’m so scared
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Hi… to the original admin who posted. How are you feeling???
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y ago
@Anonymous Interested as well
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I would like to talk!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hopefully we can share tips on how to deal with this!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
For sure!! I’m going to email you right away okay?? I may be a bit busy through the day but I promise I will reply
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I suffer the exact same thing.. you aren’t alone People just call the cops on me if I’m feeling like this
- Date posted
- 5y ago
The fact that you're worried about potentially feeling suicidal means you definitely won't do it even if you end up feeling suicidal. We all feel suicidal sometimes with ocd, most of us anyway. So you're bound to feel it once or twice. This ocd suicide thing you'll feel every day. But when you actually feel suicidal you'll know because you won't care about even making a post. People live their whole lives with suicidal thoughts to the point where they feel like doing it but you have people that you'll think about that will make you think before you act, even if it's just us! So don't worry, plus I know people that have attempted suicide many times and survived from it. Even jumping off of high buildings etc. So even if you did try, you'd probably survive. I feel actual suicidal a lot and when I feel suicidal, I don't care about anything and I have made plans in the past. But people that go through with it usually don't have a support network like an app like these, if they had of, they probably would have got the thoughts, and then realised they have people to talk to like I do when I think about killing myself. I've made plans in the past on Prozac it really didn't suit me, and I never went through with it because of my family. I went to the drs as soon as I could to come off of Prozac. You body will go into fight or flight and you'll either fight these anxiety thoughts, and remember that these suicidal thoughts are ocd anxiety thoughts, so you'll either say fuck you to the thoughts and try and get on with your life, or you'll run away from the thoughts and feel anxious and panicky regarding them. But you won't act on the thoughts, people don't go up to lions when they're afraid of them. Just call somebody when you don't care about anything, don't even care about commenting on here, don't even care about your family, listen to me now, call somebody. And now I'm sure that hearing me tell you to call somebody if you ever do have suicidal thoughts, will stop you worrying about getting real ones. Xx
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Any updates on this?? Going through this now and it SUCKS
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can I get your contact information? I deal with the same themes
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Know this is so old but could really use some positive encouragement:).
- Date posted
- 3y ago
All of this started in October for me. Just out of the blue. But lately I’ve been having a hard time with the feelings. Like the thought doesn’t scare me, but I’ve turned that into this new obsession thinking I’m suicidal now, I’ll never get better, I’ll suffer forever and I’ll get so over it one day ending it all will be my only option. When you say push through them, can you explain that a little more?
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Hey guys! Im dealing with this theme right now. Any specific advice? Have y’all connected to share support?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
What’s your email !!?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ok thank u sooo much <3
- Date posted
- 5y ago
No probs!!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I deal with the same theme as well
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can I have your contact info??
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Going on a plane tomorrow and I’m scared
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes here’s my email : jae_ montemayor03@yahoo.com
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I will email you tomorrow. Youre not alone I can promise you that
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I could have written this post myself. It does get better. Really. I’m having a bit of a lapse at the moment but I have to trust it is just ocd. We can support each other x
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m looking for some people to talk to. Is anyone still on here that deals with this theme
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Me! Hi Whitney. I’d be happy to talk with you on this theme :)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Maban Great! Email?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Whitney Can we talk here? I don’t feel super comfortable giving out my personal email!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Maban Sure thing. That makes sense. How long have you dealt with this theme? Are you still dealing with it?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ive been dealing with it for a little under a year, but wasn’t diagnosed with OCD until February! It’s gotten a LOT better, it’s really not too bothersome now, but I definitely have my days. what about you???
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’ve been struggling hard lately. Can you tell me what all you’ve done to make it better?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
as hard as it sounds, you have to just push into the thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y ago
the less scary they become to you, the more you’ll learn they aren’t serious threats
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I know this is an old thread - is anyone in the same theme / boat as OP?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hi - I still deal with this theme, what’s up? 🙂
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Evelyn I definitely struggle with this! A lot. And Harm OCD as well. Any tips?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@ahxllz Definitely treat it the same as any other OCD subtype! So ERP, avoiding compulsions throughout the day, practicing mindfulness helps a lot, as well as finding/connecting with a support group. Those have helped me tremendously! While I do deal with this theme, it’s far from the level it was at before I did these things!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Evelyn Hi Evelyn, I see that you are an NOCD advocate and I’d love to talk. Are you still active on here?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anxiousmindsthinkalike Hey! Yes I’m around, what’s up? :-)
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Evelyn I’ve been dealing with what the admin of this chat mentioned. I wrote my own post earlier about how I feel. I have been sick from these thoughts all day. They feel so real and it feels like I’m actually depressed/ have no desire to live. I don’t plan to hurt myself, it almost just feels like I don’t know what I want anymore, like I have no desire for anything and I just want this all to end. I just don’t know what to do or how to deal with this. Any advice would help.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Evelyn Do you have any personal ways to reach you? I just need someone to talk to.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anxiousmindsthinkalike Yeah of course! you can do email me at ocdhelpevelyn@gmail.com
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Evelyn I send you an email. Thank you!
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I’m dealing with this theme all over again ): any advice?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Anonymous same!! how are u feeling? I get scared whenever i saw the "suicide" word
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@sendgyoza I had a full spiral yesterday where I think I actually felt depressed because of my OCD, so it freaked me out even more. And then I was physically so anxious and distraught ):
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
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