- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have hocd and I am reluctant to be sexual too for the same reason
- Date posted
- 6y
My sex drive is low and I worry if it’s me or my bf so I can kinda relate
- Date posted
- 6y
My libido is pretty much non existent due to being depressed and exhausted from the rituals and obsessions. I’ve always found sex to be a chore anyways so it doesn’t bother me but what puts the cherry on top of all this is my contamination fear of bodily fluids and my fear of being compared-not just my body but my skills. Also I have TMJ so that’s fun. If you’re scared you might not like it, I’d say go with the flow. Just because you consented to having sex doesn’t mean you can’t stop midway if you’re not feeling it. And if the man can not understand that then you just weeded out the bad one. A good guy would never pressure you or guilt you in to doing something. But if you just don’t have the desire or drive, which is normal (especially if you’re taking meds), then don’t force yourself to having to do it.
- Date posted
- 6y
awe well thank you so much for helping! i’ve been doing better and trying super hard to not do compulsions but then i just met this guy and i really like him and we’ve been talking for a while and i want to be with him i’m just very insecure and also very nervous that i won’t enjoy it but at the same time i’ve done it before and enjoyed it a lot so it just kinda makes me mad because i want to be with this guy but my brain keeps telling me “what if you don’t like him you’re just playing with his feelings and you’re actually lesbian” and it makes me so mad because i don’t want to be gay at all. it’s never something i’ve ever thought about until a couple months ago when it randomly came on and started getting worse
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s okay. Don’t be hard on yourself. If you’re nervous do it when you are ready. A good man will understand and will give you your space. Also all those things that your brain is saying, they’re just thoughts. It’s not who you are. You wouldn’t think twice or feel bad if your thought said that car is hideous. It’s just a thought. OCD has a great way of capturing what you care about and twisting it. It wants to beat you down into little pulps so that it can control you. Believe in yourself. Your core values. I hear that he makes you happy. I also hear your OCD upsetting you. Here’s another thing that a thought is just a thought. We fearif we believe in all the things OCD tells us(bad things would happen) then we would have to believe the opposite to be true. But no matter how positively I think that I’d win a lotto-I never win :( lol my point is just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true or will come true.
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you so much you’re really helping me out right now. i’ve understood that if i was truly lesbian i wouldn’t be upset or anxious at these thoughts but they just bring me so much discomfort and just not okay with them or wanting to ever do what any of my thoughts say so i understand that it’s HOCD and so i’ve been trying to just sit with the uncertainty it’s just still kinda hard to be with a guy when i have all these thoughts flying at me ya know? but thank you so so much
- Date posted
- 6y
Aww, I’m happy to hear that. You are right! If you are truly a lesbian or curious you wouldn’t be anxious. We get anxious about “bad” things like bills. And who loves bills? Lol there’s this video I watched about extreme OVD boot camp. The therapist tells his OCD sufferers to not just sit with it but go a step further and saying “maybe it’ll happen”. So in your case you’d say “maybe I am a lesbian”. It’s hard but maybe that may help? It is very difficult but do what you can. Take it slow if you must. It’s a journey to recovery at your pace. So don’t feel pressured or rushed. You already opened up yourself to a man who you like. That in itself is a brave thing to do. Keep up the great work! You are strong!
- Date posted
- 6y
awe thank you so much you’re helping me so much! i’m gonna try and do that and just take it slow so thank you very much
- Date posted
- 6y
it sucks because i’ve met some really good guys and i’ve wanted to do stuff but i’m just scared too and it suckss
- Date posted
- 6y
yeah exactly it’s just worrisome
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
- Date posted
- 16w
I don't know for sure if I have HOCD, but it seems like I do, I tried to accept the idea that I'm gay, I felt calm, and then I started to get scared because I didn't feel anxiety anymore, I still feel attracted to my girlfriend, both physically and emotionally, but I feel an attraction to boys, sometimes I panic when I feel attracted and sometimes I don't (but most of the time I do) and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend I want to get back to normal
- Date posted
- 14w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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