Hey

Tnx bro

I wish you all the best

@sevan Same

@Lukej91 What causes you hocd?

@sevan So I'm going through a laspe. I had this back in 2013 Oct 6 my mum had said something and that thought got stuck in my head at the same time I had a so called "friend" who would always say all these strange things about sexuality and I didn't think anything of it. When I had a massive panic attack on October the 6th I had no idea what was going on but one thing was I knew instantly that I didn't want to go near that person and was angry to the point I wanted to kill him because I felt like all the stuff he said he was trying to manipulate me. Also at the same time my dad was dying from cancer , my grandmother had also died at the start of the year and my other grandmother (my dad's mum) was dying as well. So I think the stress of all of that caused it and my mind latched onto it. This year I had a similar situation. I was stuck in a call center job which I hated (I had done my marketing degree) and did 3 years of that being treated like garbage and in Melbourne we had the longest Lockdowns in the world which basically killed all my interest in life then grandfather who I loved dearly caught covid and died and I was a in a marketing job that I thought was going to be good and I gotta treated like trash and was always under the pump and stressed out and that's when I noticed the thoughts were starting to come back a bit then on Feb 22 I was watching a jimmy car video and thought ohh he's good looking and I freaked out

@Lukej91 Also back in 2013 it took me about 9-12 months to get better but I did it the slow way

@Lukej91 Its been 15 months now .....now I think I am in the phase of backdoor spike for almost 4 months, which is even worse than the earlier phases

@Say101 Yeah I'm in this stage as well so annoying

@Say101 It makes it like navigating a mine field because you no longer have that anxiety but from memory that was the last stage before I went back to normal

@Lukej91 Can I ask you?

@sevan Yeah ask what sorry

@Lukej91 Last 2 months I've put my finger in my a*ss I was dumb so that's why my hocd started now I'm scared

@sevan Ohh dude I've got a friend who said he loves it when his girlfriend did that to him. I know what I say won't make a difference but your brain latched onto that crap and I bet you think ohh only if I hadn't done that and all what if What I would recommend is when you wake up know the thoughts will come in , practice act. What I've been doing is like when I think of something scary or see someone and think those thoughts I will literally think of those thoughts or image's like this. Imagine when you go on your computer and your snip/crop an image on your computer those images than can be dragged into the trash file. But it's really bloody hard and it sucks because it's so isolating as well and you feel stuck .... You will get better as I am and I will go back to being myself

@Lukej91 But does that makes me g*ay?? I feel shame to talk to my friends and family I'm not attracted to guys I like girls even when I was 5 i had a Gf that I was dreaming to marry her

@sevan Nahh it doesn't mate. What your describing is very ocd like.maybe reach out to a therapist and they can help you. I https://youtu.be/laeYq51SYA0

@Lukej91 Tnx bro

@Lukej91 Basically it's your amygdala has gone into overdrive https://youtu.be/0vhBkRipwis

@sevan All good man learn how the brain works , it's really strange what it can do.

@Lukej91 Yeah thank you so much I feel good

@sevan Also another recommendation get rid of junk food and eat as close as possible to organic. 95% of serotonin is created in the gut this runs up the vagus nerve into the brain. Pro biotics and pre biotics have a lot to do with it as well. For example I had McDonald's on Saturday and straight after it my thoughts were stronger but once I start to eat clean my mood improves therefore I can handle my thoughts better

@Lukej91 I get triggers when I realize other boys don't do what I've done

@Lukej91 Hey