Hi! Anyone dealing with SO OCD and have a partner? I am having the hardest time with this. The thoughts and feelings feel so real and scary but there’s moments where I have felt love and attraction for my boyfriend, but right now it feels so hard to believe that was true.

Hi! Yes, same here, I have SO-OCD and ROCD and although I've had some great weeks without ruminating, these past few days have been rough. I can't even remember why I started the cycle all over again, but at some point it feels like I've already accepted that I'm lesbian, other times feels like I'm in denial, etc. We were just kissing and cuddling with my boyfriend and I started thinking "what if I don't want him to touch me" "what if I don't like his kisses" I'm also 3 months pregnant with my first baby and I think "what if I should have start a family with a woman" "what if I get bored of this straight relationship in the future?" There are days where I KNOW that I love him unconditionally, I the feeling is so strong, but there are days like today where I just can't stop doubting and it's so stressfull. Other thing that really hurt me was that I was seeing a therapist that told me once that this was just an identity crisis and that I should accept that everyone could be bisexual at aome point of their lives, and that OCD usually starts because of a background trauma, and If I didn't had one then It must mean something. This words are completely stuck to my brain. I'm trying to think everyday that well, if I have days when I feel extremely in love with my boyfriend, then I'm not gay, but it's really really hard. I get you, and you have support here. Hope you're feeling better :)

These therapists, like many out there, shouldn’t be therapists, or at the very least haven’t been properly trained in this. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Bring these things up with an OCD therapist and they’ll help you move on from these untrue words.

Yes, the thoughts tell me “I don’t love him” and even one time said “He isn’t real”, it took me weeks to realize that these were just thoughts and not real. Try to separate the thought and your real emotions.

Hey all! I’m new here and just wanted to say that while I don’t have SOOCD, I am actually gay and am happy to be a resource and to help in any way I can. While it’s only possible for me to imagine what it’s like to have SOOCD, I have had fears that I would harm someone, and can kind of feel in my gut the difference between my OCD fears and my genuine homosexuality. If I can be of help in any way, please respond to this. I’m very polite. =]

I understand, I only had rocd with my now ex boyfriend. But yeah it makes everything hard and makes you doubt everything. Now I’m out of the relationship I struggle with so-ocd and with intense anxiety if I’m good enough. With my ex I also struggled with sex, I had so much anxiety and thoughts I couldn’t enjoy it and it made the thoughts much worse. And it still does.

Being gay is just a reality for me. There’s no doubt or wonder. I’m also secure in my gender, and my love for animals. They all just feel like facts. I’ve never really had interest in females. Fears on the other hand feel like knots of anxiety, stress, and wondering. They cause intense internal debates and cause me to go back and forth.

Im starting to feel like it’s a reality for me too after battling so long so not even sure it’s SOOCD at this point

I think for me it’s probably both , when this started I realized I was noticing men and it bothered me so much but it could of been denial all this time