Anyone else on here struggling with retroactive jealousy OCD? Would also love to hear from people who are making progress with it, or feel they've got over it?

Yes

Good to know I'm not the only one!

Hope I described that well enough, didn't want to put too much in case there was triggers ?

Yeah I often feel the same. I've been pretty good at refraining from giving into compulsions this time round but have been awful in the past. Hate thinking how it's made me act. Not who I want to be at all. But every day forward is a little bit of progress so fingers crossed!

I've been re-reading Joshua Fletchers book on RJ and find everything is resonating with me a lot the second time round. I definitely recommend it

I’m sorry I have obsessional jealousy

What's that

Retroactive Jealousy or obsessional jealousy?

Both...

If iam correct retroactive jealousy is obsessing over your partners previous sexual partners and history obsessional jealousy is obsessing that your partner has cheated or going to cheat

RJ is basically obsessing over a partners sexual or romantic past, and compulsions can manifest as constantly seeking reassurance or asking questions with a morbid interest to find out more in the hope of managed your anxiety. Or compulsions can be mental, like seeing a thought through, or trying to think of all the ways what you believe isn't true. Comes with 'mental movies', anxiety obviously, resentment, judgement and often doubt about whether or not your partner is right for you because of their past, regardless of how extensive their past is

Very similar then ?

All of the same sytpoms and obsessions and ind intrusive thoughts except yours is about your partners past and mine is who she could potentially cheat with are you on meds as well ? And have you had cbt ?

I was on meds in the past and did do CBT but at the time we thought it was GAD and depression. It's only recently I've accepted it could be a manifestation of OCD. So right now I'm working with a therapist but still in early days. Had this in almost every relationship for the last 8 years though

Accepting is key and being given the the tools from cbt to equip yourself better will help ?

And if you got a loving understanding partner helps to

I hope so! Thanks!

Yeah I have it. It's not fun. I feel like the compulsions turn me into a bad person at times. I can resist for a few days but end up caving in after a few days. It's tough but you gotta keep fighting. ??

I have realised that mine does stem from low self esteem from years of racism at school, body issues from being fat as a child and a skin condition I had when younger. I am working on CBT with my therapist and trying to get through ERP. I am also doing my own work on my self esteem and being more positive in general. It's gonna be a long fight but I am confident that I will win it and I am very lucky I have a supportive girlfriend who is with me all the way.

Yeah I've definitely got some self esteem issues to work through, and it seems that everyone I speak to or read about with it has been bullied at school at some point. It's not our fault, but we can still fix it. My girlfriends been great too, definitely better than some in the past. So I'm sure we both can come through this at the other side!

Yeah. Oddly enough I didn't consider the racism to be bullying but it definitely had a huge effect on my life. But I also have a parent with OCD/Anxiety so I was more susceptible to it anyway. I just gotta learn to be more positive and build up that self image and I hope I will be much better off.

Yeah I just read that. Found it to be a lot better than Zackary Stockhills. I am enjoying Tedx talks on positivity and self esteem and the OCD Stories on YouTube. Recommended them.

Yeah I agree. There's a new thing I've came across called retr-act.com. Basically a group of counsellors who specialize in RJ. Was speaking to a counselor from there for a while but he was too pricey and wasn't a fan of Skype. But there's some good content if you haven't seen it already. Cheers I'll have a look at those!

Hi through ERP I have learned how to live with thoughts without them having the power to upset and drive you nuts. A bit more background: I have Retrospective Jealousy OCD. It started around 30 years ago when I met my now wife. I struggled with the thoughts about her past not knowing what was happening and when they first came on the pain was unbearable and I tried to kill myself. I then had years of going to therapists that were useless as they failed to realise it was OCD. Four years ago I finally was diagnosed and with the help of a great psychotherapist I have been doing ERP and at last things have improved. Before that I was totally at its mercy and I would get so angry and upset with my wife it was awful. Luckily we are still together. I would like to connect with others with this type of OCD to hopefully provide some support and understanding whether you have not yet been diagnosed or you are or are due to begin ERP . ERP was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. If years ago I had known other people with this OCD who knew what the diagnosis is and how to treat it it would have saved years of pain and suffering.