I dont understand why i have been obsessed with the same person (its gotten better then came back) over a period of 6 years. I've tried everything but ERP. Im just scared. Im scared it wont work and im so used to this now when i do get better for a while it always comes back. I need to get better once and for all but idk one small trigger and i let myself get sucked back down the rabbit hole.🤦
This is interesting, I have been obsessed with someone for 3 years and we barely had any relationship, maybe a potential one on my point of view, we only went out on one date, and I think despite some red flags from him (that other people think are red flags too), that it was my fault he blocked me, and that it was not right for me to talk to him less because of those flags, and that I might have missed something great and whether or not it goes great, I “want to find it out with him.” Keep in mind that during these 3 yrs, I had a boyfriend and now husband but the ruminations and blaming and reassurance that I did do the right thing are still here. I hate it and I feel guilty all the time, and I just doubt a lot and even my past decisions, and I am just tired. I’m scared that doing ERP will not work, or if I do it… and it somehow work, what now? Do I just stay like this for the rest of my life? Do I carry these doubts and have them bother me all the time? I would love for them to go away altogether, and for me not to have them pop up anymore. Idk if ERP guarantees that.
How long do you plan on living with this person in your head?
@Anonymous_715 Im sure they don't plan on it..if it was that easy to just stop we wouldn't be here.
@Anonymous_715 That question scares me because I don’t know and I don’t want to anymore. I just want to be able to let go and accept whatever I have right now and be grateful for it and stop the what ifs. I wanna be able to live life to the fullest but I think my compulsions and avoidance of compulsions are limiting me. I hate myself for having this person in my head. I wish you have an answer for me with the question you just asked.
@sdawn Exactly but setting a goal may be helpful. Asking yourself the tough questions to formulate a plan might work to your benefit.
@SofiaLovedAndHealed When you feel clarity it may be a good time to get to the nitty gritty of it. I wish I could use my clarity moments in the past but now I think I can do it.
@Anonymous_715 Yeah you're right..im not sure. & that makes sense..im sorry if i came off as rude i just wasnt sure how you meant it. ii think making a goal is a good idea i just haven't. Its so crazy what your mind will try and make you believe..ive had a hard time accpeting that some things just dont make sense and never will and there isn't always an exact why. The fear of uncertainty is one of the biggest things i hate about OCD.
@sdawn Not at all rude, it natural to react when others may not believe you in the past. I also react so it's but a thing for me. I just want to make sure to be here to flesh it out with you all because it also helps me.
@Anonymous_715 Thank you i appreciate that and i understand! It definitely helps to know we aren't alone in struggling with ocd. Sometimes i just feel like ive given up honestly. Im trying to be more positive and try to take small steps as to not overwhelm myself. I have depression and anxiety as well if anyone else does on here too you aren't alone!💗
Please update this post. I’m also somehow in a similar boat.
I'm so sorry you're going through a similar situation! I understand how crazy it can be and well with mine we went on two dates and talked for weeks. Slept together on the 2nd date. I moved to another state and he was in VA. Trird to stay friends and its just gone on with us talking randomly then not talking over the last 6 years. I thought there was some deeper meaning or what would have happened if we dated longer.
I guess i should also mention im in a relationship as well. I feel guilty a lot too and always feel like i need to contact the other guy or figure out the why of all this..rumination at its finest.
Does this person want you in there life?
The short answer is no, only when they're lonely apparently just cause im there.
@sdawn Does it help you or harm you to give into his urges?
@Anonymous_715 It harms me. I know i need to stop its just easier said then done
@sdawn Most definitely! I have a few OCD behaviors and I fear this one intensely because I already have a ROCD but I don't obsession over ex's just my partner. I'm wondering how long you plan on sharing your mind space with this version of him?
Can someone please tell me at what point did you finally accept that it’s OCD? When did the ERP click for you? When did you just stop buying into the lies of OCD and finally let go? Like what does it take. It’s been 2 years of this for me and I’m in ERP currently and it’s just not clicking 😣 is it just me???
Hi, last year I had a trigger with my little cousin that made me spiral. Then that thought lead to another and lead to another thought and another one and so on and I've been feeling stuck (with ups and downs) over a year now. I hit rock bottom in July/August and that lead me to going to the psychiatrist. I am taking meds now, but I still feel bad. It doesn't take as much time of my life anymore but it is constantly back there in my mind. It's the feeling that I'm ignoring and undoubtable truth that soonest or later will come out, or that rejecting, or that I'm resisting. That's why it's been impossible for me to do ERP, because I think it's going to make me want to touch myself and if I do I'll feel bad. And then it feels like I like the thoughts, not only physically (groinals) but mentally??? It's like a brain fog that I can't tag between pleasure or confusion. And that thought leads me to thinking about the alleged "non-offending" ps and if that could be me. And that thought leads me to think OH MY GOD I can't BELIEVE I am a girl in my twenties obsessing over this I can't believe this is my life.
these days I feel particularly bad. I can't let the thoughts and those scenes be there without going deeper into it. Everything about my sister has become a trigger for me, and I have the impression that she "turns me on" and creates a big panic. I feel like I can't breathe because I don't know how to let it all go and I don't attach importance... 5 months of ERP and now this, I can't do it, I don't know it...and I don't know what else to do...
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