As soon as I booked an appointment for ERP, my OCD decided to fade away after months of dealing with it. Now my mind is telling me to cancel the appointment because I’m “better” now 🤦♀️
No, don’t cancel it! It’ll always be with you and it’s better to get help now than cancel and have it come back even worse.
@Nica I definitely agree!
Oh Lord this is literally it. It's like the clarity of super fear.
It sounds a bit like your mind is trying to trick you. Hope you remember that your OCD doesn't want to go away, so it will be sneaky making you stay away from treatment.
@Emilhaagen99 You’re 100% right! OCD can make any feeling feel so real.
This happened with me ! I was really bad for a long period of time and then when I started getting help I felt “better” and I wasn’t really passionate about ERP or therapy in general because I thought I didn’t need it. Then when it finished and my therapist sent me on my way a few weeks later it was all back 🥲😂 it was some sick joke but it is what it is I guess
@markson This is exactly how I feel right now 😭 since I’m feeling good at the moment I feel like it’s not necessary to go through with it, but if I don’t it’ll probably get worse.
I had the exact same thing!! Ocd was so bad then booked an appointment with an erp therapist for the first time, and felt so much better and spent the whole first session saying how I didn't need therapy ... therapist saw through it (thank god) and I spent 6 months in Erp therapy where I had numerous relapses. Go to the appointment 🙌 even if you feel better the whole time, it's good to get the tools in case you ever relapse!
I’ve been feeling this exact way I thought I was gaslighting myself into thinking I have ocd! I have over a week before my first session and wake up everyday thinking “I’m not bad enough” when my thoughts before making the appointment were “I’m so bad!” I guess the ocd always shows you what you don’t “want” to see. When I admitted this to my partner, I started the sentence with, “I’ve been obsessing over if I have ocd or not” and then realized saying it outloud… it’s an obsession no matter what it’s trying to disguise itself as. I feel proud when I make connections like that and feel I am looking ocd in the face and saying “HA!”
From my experience, I’ve done this many times with different things and it didn’t work out very well lol.
Hi everyone. I'm feeling kinda scared because I have to wait a whole month to start ERP therapy, but I feel like I need to start doing exposures now because the longer I wait, the more anxiety I get. It just feels like the OCD monster is getting worse. One thing that helps me is asking one person about an obsession I have...asking a person that I trust, and then doing an exposure after I get the "ok" to do it. I feel like I do need 1 reassurance and then I can go ahead and do it. I know i'm not supposed to ask for reassurance at all, but i dont think you're supposed to do ERP on your own right? Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do while waiting for therapy? PS-the reason there is a wait is bc she's on vacation. After she's back we will meet regularly.
I’ve noticed that I’m somewhat happier also ignoring my thoughts than I am instead of doing compulsions (I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired atp) but I’ve heard you’re technically supposed to do erp rather than pushing under the rug. But idk if I have a thought I just refuse to think about it again and im fine even if I want to do compulsions
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
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