As soon as I booked an appointment for ERP, my OCD decided to fade away after months of dealing with it. Now my mind is telling me to cancel the appointment because I’m “better” now 🤦♀️
No, don’t cancel it! It’ll always be with you and it’s better to get help now than cancel and have it come back even worse.
@Nica I definitely agree!
Oh Lord this is literally it. It's like the clarity of super fear.
It sounds a bit like your mind is trying to trick you. Hope you remember that your OCD doesn't want to go away, so it will be sneaky making you stay away from treatment.
@Emilhaagen99 You’re 100% right! OCD can make any feeling feel so real.
This happened with me ! I was really bad for a long period of time and then when I started getting help I felt “better” and I wasn’t really passionate about ERP or therapy in general because I thought I didn’t need it. Then when it finished and my therapist sent me on my way a few weeks later it was all back 🥲😂 it was some sick joke but it is what it is I guess
@markson This is exactly how I feel right now 😭 since I’m feeling good at the moment I feel like it’s not necessary to go through with it, but if I don’t it’ll probably get worse.
I had the exact same thing!! Ocd was so bad then booked an appointment with an erp therapist for the first time, and felt so much better and spent the whole first session saying how I didn't need therapy ... therapist saw through it (thank god) and I spent 6 months in Erp therapy where I had numerous relapses. Go to the appointment 🙌 even if you feel better the whole time, it's good to get the tools in case you ever relapse!
I’ve been feeling this exact way I thought I was gaslighting myself into thinking I have ocd! I have over a week before my first session and wake up everyday thinking “I’m not bad enough” when my thoughts before making the appointment were “I’m so bad!” I guess the ocd always shows you what you don’t “want” to see. When I admitted this to my partner, I started the sentence with, “I’ve been obsessing over if I have ocd or not” and then realized saying it outloud… it’s an obsession no matter what it’s trying to disguise itself as. I feel proud when I make connections like that and feel I am looking ocd in the face and saying “HA!”
From my experience, I’ve done this many times with different things and it didn’t work out very well lol.
Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there. I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.
(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I have therapy today and I’m nervous. I just started going to therapy and I really like my therapist. She talked to me about doing ERP and I’m really nervous about it. I’m scared to tell her the extent of my OCD, and my themes. I’m scared to tell her about my false memory OCD, because I’m scared that what I did was real and I’m just excusing it as false memory, although I have no memory of it. I’m scared that I am truly a monster and I’m using OCD as an excuse—and that she’ll find out and distance herself. I’m just scared that my whole world is gonna fall apart, all around me.
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
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