Ghost123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Close SOCD
I relapsed again and triggered myself. It really tried to convince me despite the evidence.
ada110ada110
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I had a really bad return to the worst overwhelming thoughts last week after an exposure (which previously hadn't triggered me so much). I felt so down about it but the next couple of days I felt stronger and better able to let thoughts pass, so I tried to remind myself progress isn't linear. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a setback if that feels like a super negative way to describe it. Sometimes it's not such a good day and there's not much you can do but to go to bed and hope tomorrow is a better one. OCD is never logical whatever evidence you give it. Keep going :-)
Ghost123Ghost123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@ada110 Yeah I relapsed again, but I’m proud of my journey. I am still making a lot of progress.
ada110ada110
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ghost123 Good for you. I don't feel out of the woods yet myself but it's getting easier.
Ghost123Ghost123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@ada110 Good to hear. Do you have a trigger “place”? Like when you’re in the bedroom or when you walk past someone. I’ve noticed that my SOCD spikes when I’m alone in my room for long periods of time (+ social isolation). When I go outside and I see (well I guess) gay or bi couples, I don’t really get triggered as much. It’s only afterwards.
ada110ada110
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Ghost123 To be honest triggers can come from anywhere - My OCD finds a way in. But being alone is definitely worse for me too and I'm still on my own a lot while looking for work which can be hard. Just too much time with my own head and no distractions or exposures from the real outside world. Going out it can sometimes be triggered by seeing same sex couples or also just attractive women, or I've noticed sometimes any woman who is friendly or smiles at me, my brain goes "does she fancy me? Do I want her to?". But it's erratic, sometimes these things are triggers sometimes they aren't. Just trying to learn to let these thoughts come and try not to engage in the rumination.
Ghost123Ghost123
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@ada110 I get these too but not as much. I normally don’t get triggered by same sex couples, it’s only when my OCD is already spiking beforehand that it latches onto anything. Children, teenagers, men and very rarely animals. And not to sound TMI but even like having “alone time” and those thoughts popping up really make it distressful. I’m afraid for my future relationships, in that I fear that I will suffer from sexual dysfunction. Which is not uncommon for people with OCD. I’m also scared because whilst my HOCD goes away, it can come back and seem realer every time. So I have to practice ERP or distract myself which does help. But man, some of the thoughts make me genuinely want to throw up. It’s like OCD is a predator pressuring me or something into doing things I know I hate and will never do. I’m scared:
Related posts
Vee <3
- Date posted
- 22w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
niu
- Date posted
- 21w
SOCD, Real Event, porn
I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.
Anonynmous19
- Date posted
- 21w
Relapse
Im struggling with false memory pocd sexual what if thoughts. I discussed it with three therapists. Did CBT and ERP. Ive been free of this intrusive thoughts for 11 months and now its back and i feel like at square onewith doubt. Redoubting things ive already did therapy on and disproved. I felt inner peace and fine for almost a year and now back to feeling stuck ruminating questioning whats real memory and whats false memory even though deep down i kmkw its false memory i have evidence against the thoughts and its so ego dystonic theres no proof as my therapist said.
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