it is so weird .. like before last year i never knew what ocd or intrusive thoughts were. i never had them or was worried about them. but it took one horrifying intrusive thought that changed everything for me .. now it’s like recurring over and over .. i just wish it could go away . i wish i never had it. i miss my old self :(

Hi there, recently diagnosed with ocd. Now i do recognise some behaviors being a child that were associated with ocd but i could live with them and they never caused me harm. Ocd flared up out of nowhere due to my life being stressful 2 months ago and now i haven’t been the same since. Did it just appear out of nowhere for everyone else. Im so worried it wont get better and it will always be this bad. I constantly have existential thoughts and health w suicide ocd.

I was doing so much better with my OCD. I thought I finally figured it out. However, the last two weeks have been a nightmare. It’s like I went from 0-100 all over again. And it’s become scarier than it ever has been. Every other thought is either causing me anxiety or turning into an intrusive thought. Any headache or feeling of derealization, and I start to spiral. My thoughts are becoming more gruesome and feeling more real. The intrusive urges are so bad it feels like at any moment I could actually just snap. It feels like I am about to go crazy. Another hard aspect is when I’m getting these intrusive urges it feels like I want to do it or I don’t care if I do it. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like this disgusting monster who is just going to lose it and I want it to be over. Why is this happening when I was finally better? It makes me feel like it’s not OCD and I’m actually this person and I’m just holding my true self back. I’m sick to my stomach.

I’m 21M and i believe i’ve had ocd for a lot of my life. I started researching ocd when i was either 16 or 17 because my intrusive thoughts were starting to get really loud and wouldn’t leave me alone. And they are still loud but never louder than before. I never talked to anybody about this until i brought it up to my fiance a month ago because my stress level was at an all time high. I don’t think she really understands because i haven’t went into detail about all my thoughts. Just bits and pieces of it. Anyways, i’ve been stressing about my past intrusive thoughts. I’m concerned on why i wasn’t as stressed as i am today. I was still stressed and had anxiety but i’m guessing i handled it better then. Today though, i’m stressing constantly. Like i never knew this app existed, i never watched videos on this condition or there were different subtypes until now, or i think i didn’t know. I remember back then i would research and research about this and have mental rituals but that was it. Like i wasn’t so stressed back then. Now, i just feel like i’m sick all the time. I’m just scared that my past intrusive thoughts were my true desires. I know they ain’t but how can i tell my brain that? I just wished i would have known more about this back then. I absolutely hate this and i don’t wish this on anybody