How am I supposed to just shrug off real things?

I understand when you have OCD you're supposed to respond to worries you experience with "maybe it will happen" or "I don't know if that will happen." To me, that doesn't seem to work when I am experiencing something that's real. Something that isn't an abstract thought, it's something that's actually occurring. My wife and I just bought a house, I'm in my first job as a teacher in a district where I have to drive 45 minutes each way to get there every day and it's brutal when I get there compared to anything I've experienced (rough area). My wife and I are also having some marital problems, she told me that needing excessive emotional support from her the 6+ years we've been together has bred resentment in her and she's questioning "us" a bit as a result. I don't know how I'm supposed to look at those very real very terrifying situations and just ignore them and refocus. That seems to only apply to mental hypotheticals

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

The goal is not to "shrug" it off. The goal is to live regardless of the feelings. To work through the anxiety. The key is not indifference, it's acceptance

TeacherPNW

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Right, it is difficult to accept that these very real very scary things are happening and then just refocus

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@TeacherPNW It gets better with time and therapy and practice.

TeacherPNW

Date posted: 2y

@Nica I hope you're right. I need to feel better. I want to hang onto my wife and have a good career. The thought of losing them due to my disorder is something I can't bear

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@TeacherPNW I’ve been in recovery for 3 years now. So yes, personal experience that it gets better. But you need to work on yourself to see results.

TeacherPNW

Date posted: 2y

@chezzburgerjaz Thank you to both of you, I also can't just drop everything and go to some 24 hour intensive therapy treatment program for a few months. I am a new teacher with a 45 minute commute and everything that goes along with being a first year teacher. I also have a wife and a new mortgage. How can I maintain all of that while also getting the help I need to handle my disorder? Feels like there isn't enough time or resources to be able to do that

Nica

Date posted: 2y

@TeacherPNW I didn’t go to whatever you assumed and typed out. I was in college and worked. You are deciding to put hurtles up with your recovery, sorry to say. You’re on NOCD, it’s via zoom, and it’s fairly easy to find a therapist. Now it’s up to you if you truly want to get better or not.

TeacherPNW

Date posted: 2y

@Nica Thank you for being honest and direct. I do want to get better. I want to have a good life with my wife. I don't want to lose everything because of my disorder

hereintheUK

Date posted: 22w

OCD based in real fear……

How do any of you guys deal with OCD that’s latched on to something real? I don’t mean real event OCD but a real thing?

uncertain_Aly

Date posted: 21w

Does OCD impact your ability to get to work?

Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.

Dude01

Date posted: 20w

How do you deal with "undefined" things?

So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks

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How am I supposed to just shrug off real things?

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