good and worrried news.

i found a specialist. yay. i talk to her in. 4 weeks. in the meantime i need to get a refferal so that the actual specialist is cheaper. therefore i need to see a normal doctor to get the refferal. i don’t know what to tell him. since i’ve had a very taboo and disgusting false thought that i’ve obsessed over for 3 months. he won’t understand it’s ocd. and i’m scared. anyway. i’m always terrified and petrified that this isn’t a false thought. i’ve even asked the person involved in the thought “hey have i ever hurt you?” and they promised me that i haven’t. i also talk to them daily. i usually ignore them because my ocd says i’m a terrible person but yeah. i’m so worried that this false thought is true. i don’t want to be a bad person. i don’t want to go to jail. i don’t want to be in trouble. i’m only 15 :(