vent

TW!!! hey. my name is luna and i have been diagnosed with so many stupid things like depression, bipolar, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, and shit like that. i’m not even sure i have any of those things if i’m being completely honest. it’s been pretty hard these last couple of years because I’ve been in so many treatments and a residential. I’m not sure if anyone else has been through this but it’s been kind of confusing too. i’ve made a lot of stupid choices also. I currently have an obsession with cutting myself. I just can’t stop. I used to also have an obsession with giving myself stick and pokes. And the list goes on. But sometimes I have horrible intrusive thoughts. They actually have been more than less. I have them almost every day all day. sometimes they’re about my sexual orientation and how I’m so confused. Or maybe about wanting to kill myself or jumping off a bridge. But sometimes they’re about homicide and being a murder. I’ve been so interested in Jeffrey Dahmer lately. I know it’s really fucked up to have these kinds of thoughts but I just can’t help it. I really need some advice if anyone is willing to give me some. I’m not really sure how this app works because I just got it but if you guys have any tips that would be a big help. I know I said this before but my name is Luna and i go by they them pronouns!<3

Locna

Date posted: 2y

Luna firstly there's a SOS option on top of this app. If you're ever close to a 51/50 moment please use it. OCD is being under duress so don't let OCD trick you into " making a choice". I would first get a therapist and medication to help you get some relief. Have you worked on your boundaries, guidelines, principles, standards, ethical understandings and goals for progressive recovery and management? These will serve as a roadmap to coming back to yourself. I used to be a military contractor and I often had these ideations. I still do. I just have a very good idea of who I am and I also have goals that keep me on the straight and narrow. There are high paying positions such as S&M models who practice harmful play as a job. I know I took you to two very extreme parts of reality but in reality these positions exist and no one fills these positions without a natural disposition for these roles. Self harm is usually based on a rule. So what rule is it? What triggers this? Have you tried sitting with the urges and allowing them to pass by, like billboards on a highway? Rarely do we get out and look at a billboard. Try to remember we can not control others but we can control ourselves. Your thoughts don't make you but your actions do. OCD will trick you into thinking you want these thoughts. Remember because you had to pick these thoughts out and review them, means they are UFO's. Treat them like Will Smith in Independence Day.

Luna S

Date posted: 2y

uhm. no offense but i didn’t understand half the stuff you just said. but i do know that i am on at least 10 different meds and i am trying to get a therapist but that shit is expensive. plus i’m a minor and stuff so i don’t pay for my own stuff and my brother also has all this stuff so we need to help him too.

your strong

Date posted: 23w

Can you relate?

Hi this my first time ever hearing about this app n i downloaded it because lately my ocd been really bad and I feel I can’t have control over it it scares me because I sometimes hurt people around me when I don’t mean to for example my bf everytime something goes well my head just starts spinning in circles with bad thoughts n wanting to ruin stuff with him lowkey I messed up big times bc I let this time my thoughts win me over n took everything off on him without thinking n realizing how bad I had affected him it kills me because everytime I think im jus a weak person bc I always let everything get to me I’m jus so scared because now my head jus tells me your not good enough your gonna lose him this literally jus happens when something positive comes in my head or something good happens always jus wanna ruin it I hate it because I always believe my thoughts instead of him not because I don’t want to but because also of my past n trauma jus fucks it even more from the deep of my heart i believe him but my head reacts differently n lets it out n now am in the situation of knowing I can lose him any minute now even tho am putting my faith in god n trying my hardest to think positive n be better everyday I’m really trying but w ocd it’s so hard n jus get scared n let my thoughts get to me😞 idk what to do anymore

Adi7

Date posted: 18w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

_okayylexi

Date posted: 18w

Newbie Here 🙏🏼

Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!

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