Cheating OCD and False Memory

False memories are something I severely struggled with for years. False memories are actually nothing but intrusive thoughts, but I struggled to distinguish between thoughts and intention and/or between thoughts and memories. It lead to intense anxiety and often an inability to function. I believed that I was capable of committing acts that i strongly believe are morally wrong and would never want to do. Many times I was unable to stop scanning our memory and asking for reassurance about certain events in attempt to gain certainty that I have not done anything/will not do anything that we consider to be wrong. It's absolute hell. After years and years of research, this is the best way I came up with to explain how false memory OCD works A real memory is like a busy street, where you can remember everything you see.. People, cars, streetlights. A false memory is like a map where you only see a few lines. OCD will make you imagine the other details and make you believe that you saw them on the map. Your question by itself is an OCD symptom - a desperate need to have certainty. You think that if only you knew for sure that it's really OCD, then you could forgive yourself and move on. But the thing is - like with every single one of OCD's questions desperate need to have certainty - you will never know for sure. It's this need for certainty that keeps OCD going. What I realized is that I remembered everything very clearly before the false memory kicked in. This is key to recognizing when a false memory starts. The real memory ends when the doubt starts. The key here is to trust it's OCD, do the work and believe that OCD has never done anything to help you…..why would it start now.. It's job is to make you miserable. I know it's so difficult by let the thoughts sit without judgment and don't try to figure them out You didn't make up these false memories OCD did. **I found this helpful. It’s from @obsessively_anxious

First, stop calling it False Memory OCD. It is no different than calling it Unsure About the Content of My Thoughts OCD which might as well be called OCD OCD OCD. To understand how to tackle any manifestation of OCD, you have to understand a few core concepts: You don't control what thoughts show up and when Everyone desires certainty that their fears are untrue but what sets people with OCD apart is the amount of life they are willing to sacrifice for this futile endeavor Everything you do to prove the thought untrue makes it seem more familiar and therefore more real It is not possible to know what one's intentions were, only what they are in the present moment

Maybe your s/o can give you feedback on specific things then you can classify in your head more easily as in bounds. I think that probably feeds more into the ocd though 😆 I'm not very good with my own. I find reassurance personally very helpful and satisfying though.

i can relate im so sorry i had several breakdowns regarding this theme and i still suffer from it . The only thing i have learnt so far is that i shouldn't look into the thoughts because ocd will always convince me i did the act and that i want to do it