Anyone with ROCD get really confused wether it’s their OCD or their needs are genuinely not being met and it’s just not the right relationship for you ? How do you tell the difference ? And how do you tell if your needs are reasonable or something you need to work on ie. You have an anxious attachment style.
Yes I’ve struggled with this and continue to struggle with this. What I’ve learned is that even if you feel like your needs aren’t being met I think it’s important to remember you have OCD and everything is heightened in your head. For example my boyfriend answered the phone today saying “yeah?”, instead of hello and that has made me think omg is he over me? That’s so rude etc etc. but for someone without OCD, that’s just like a hey that wasn’t cool and move on. So my advice to you, is sit with the anxiety, if you feel like they aren’t being met it’s probably because of ocd. The more you focus on being okay with the uncertainty you might find that the issues present today won’t bother you when you’ve worked on that skill if that makes sense. Of course if it’s abusive or toxic that’s different.
Oh man I’m right there with you, especially wondering if I have an anxious attachment style
Yeah I know that I do but it’s so hard to know what you need to change or what actually is okay for you to want and need
I’m literally the same, the smallest thing can send me. I’ve definitely had it with how he answers and hangs up the phone.. although sometimes he is actually being passive aggressive so can’t always let him off lol. But yeah at the moment we are long distance & we can spend lots of time together then when we have to leave one another the difference is so big that I struggle with it, whereas he seems to be fine and goes about his life. So that makes me think he isn’t really that bothered if I’m in his life or not etc etc and start spiralling. Because I’m like do I just need to be in a relationship that can offer me more ie: isn’t long distance Or is this my ocd over exaggerating it Fyi when I’m with him he’s actually the more needy one & I’m a lot more stable & we work well together
I feel like also maybe because of the ocd I’m trying to rush him/things so I can feel more stable ie: moving in, getting more serious into the relationship. But also…that is a ‘normal’ thing to want after 2 years of dating. & this is why I get so confused and round in circles
Every day, every minute. OCD is telling me that I don’t love him and I don’t want to be around him, despite the fact that 2 weeks ago and many times before that I wanted to tell him I love him. I’m pretty sure it’s just fear protecting me, and life not being the Hollywood version of love.
As we all know ERP is used to combat uncertainty, but how about when thoughts present themselves as certain. For example when I do ERP I will use a prevention response such as “it is possible….” And then my head will fire back with “it not that it’s possible.. it is”. Like my brain fires back with an absolute. I struggle with rocd. Unfortunately the only person who has answers to wether or not something is a deal breaker, is me. Not a single therapist or person can decide what I want or need, but myself. This is what makes this challenging. So I say “it’s possible this is a deal breaker” and my head fires back with “it is a deal breaker and you know it”. I caved and accepted that statement as true. Now I’m stuck beyond belief. I feel like I know the truth, and am failing to accept it.
Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
