Hyperawareness

I posted about this the other day and a therapist responded that if it has the usual ocd tells, then it’s most likely ocd. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. They say even if it’s new for you chances are others have had the same or similar ocd experience. So, this is new for me and just like when I get an intrusive thought i’ve recently been getting what I call intrusive emotions. I will feel something like sad or jealous in a situation when in reality I don’t feel that way at all. For example, my ocd targets certain family members and if one of them is watching tv and thinks a woman is pretty i’ll suddenly feel sad or jealous when I don’t actually care or feel that way because that’s my family member and I don’t think about or feel for them in any inappropriate way. Also, sometimes when I have a harm intrusive thought my ocd will say that I want something horrible to happen to my family member and I will feel like I actually want it but that’s not what I want or how I feel at all. Is there anyone who has had this or something similar happen?

Paranoia… I need to know because I’m feeling very alone in this. I’ve never met someone with the level of paranoia that I have. I can logically explain things to myself and somehow my paranoia convinces me of another story. I’m constantly thinking exaggerated thoughts that there are so many scary possibilities. Am I alone in this or what? If so any suggestions on how to calm these thoughts

Not sure this is really OCD related, but does anyone else struggle with erythrophobia (the fear of blushing)? I struggle with it really bad and I feel like it’s kind of OCD related because the more you try not to think about something, the worse it gets. The more I try not to blush, the more I do. Anyway, today, I was at church which for some reason always gives me the most anxiety. I struggle with never knowing where to look which I know sounds stupid and I feel like I tend to avoid other people’s gazes. I’m always worried too that people can sense my anxiety. I accidentally made eye contact with the priest and a few other people and immediately started turning red. I looked down so as to hide it but I think people still noticed. I know that people aren’t really looking at me but I’ve always had the spotlight effect where I feel like they are always looking at me and judging me. After I blushed, I noticed 2 of the altar servers were whispering and laughing and they seemed to be looking at me. I felt so self-conscious the rest of the service. I hate erythrophobia and social anxiety and I know blushing might not seem like a big deal to those who don’t constantly struggle with it but it is to me and has ruined my life. Does anyone else struggle with this?