- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you cat! For your honesty and encouragement. It was definitely a bad decision. Even though we got consent to continue, we should have realized that it still was just an uncomfortable thing to do. In the moment I promise it did feel very much like “yeah I’m fine do whatever you want” but we were being dumb and horny, and not thinking what he could have been feeling in the inside. Thank you for saying I deserve to be forgiven. This has felt like a dark cloud over my head, like I did some horrible thing and should be punished for.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well thank you for being honest. I’m so sorry to know you had a worse experience. Please feel like you can open up if you want too. I would not judge you at all. And I am sure that whatever you did it is NOT who you are. We all make mistakes
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Can you maybe post it on one of my comments? I don’t know how to read something someone recently posted
- Date posted
- 5y ago
There are tags? Hah
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So last summer I was with one of my best friends and we invited another guy were friendly with to hang with us with the intention of hooking up. When we got to his house he got weird and didn’t wanna do anything and so we obvi tried with him a few times but once he wasn’t into it we just were like ok cool whatever
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So me and my friend started hooking up and we asked if that was ok while he was there and he was like yeah sure whatever
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And when we finished I asked him like are you sure that was ok was that weird for you to be here and witness lol and he was like no no it’s fine
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But over the year I got anxious maybe it was not a good situation with all of the MeToo stories coming out. Like my understanding of consent chandler
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You had sex with your friend in front of him?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Personally I think this was a bad decision. It doesn’t matter if you asked him if he wanted to go, when you could tell he was uncomfortable. It seems like you’re just saying these things to make yourself feel better. Which is okay! I understand this completely. But you need to accept you did something wrong and more importantly that it is OKAY! You’re a human, we do wrong things. You feel bad about it, which signifies you are not this evil thing you think you are. What happened is not bad enough to destroy the person. They may never forget it, but it isn’t something that would cause permanent damage to relationships or anything like that. You’re being too hard on yourself. You need to forgive yourself. I think you deserve to be forgiven.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have done something WAY worse than this, that even with a code name I don’t know if I will ever be able to say what it was I did. Maybe one day. I understand feeling like you need to be punished that you shouldn’t be forgiven. In my case I believe it because it was way worse. I know it seems like it is horrible and it has tormented you,I do not doubt this. But truthfully I wish my “bad thing” was your situation. I would rather have done what you did 100 times than what I did once. I don’t need assurance, just wanted to let you know it can quite literally always be worse.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ok! It’s under the depression and getting support tags. Can you see those?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yea I don’t know what you mean by that ??♀️
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh sorry lol. Yeah when you post don’t you guys get tag options? Anyway I’ll send my story
- Date posted
- 5y ago
So I just reached out to him and apologized and he was like it’s fine I’m fine, but I also felt like maybe he did feel weird about it which is understandable but I’m so scared he feels assaulted or something and I feel literally sick thinking I caused it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sorry that’s a lot of info lol
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Basically. Not sex though just made out and some other stuff. We asked him a few times if he cared and i deff remember saying to him we would drive him home and afterwords I personally asked him if he was cool or felt weird and he was like no I’m fine I just didn’t feel like doing anything/was tired. And that was it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
When we got there we tried flirting with him a bit and there was some touching (maybe he kissed my friend?) but then he really lost interest so we kinda just were like oh ok well whatever. But now I’m paranoid that that is actually something bad or that he felt taken advantaged of and when I reached out he didn’t seem upset just awkward and not into maybe how it all went down. Which is totally fair! I’m just having a hard time accepting I took part in something so stupid/could have maybe hurt someone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Hi all. This is my first post. I am 45. My wife and I recently went through a rough patch and I don’t wanna throw away 20 years but I can’t shake or get over the amount of work I put in for our family and she doesn’t even come close. She says I do all the work I do bc I am the only one who cares about it. I really gave a good go at overlooking the fact that it isn’t 50/50 and was going good for like 2 weeks and now we are back again bc I feel overwhelmed and need help and support and I get none. Am I a bad person bc I feel that when I have a ton on my plate she should support me and take some of it? I tried to talk to her about it and she told me “I never said I was changing and I am not doing anymore than i currently do” For reference: I vacuum the entire house once a week Do 6 loads of laundry Handle all the bills and taxes Dust everywhere but our bedroom Go to the dump Handle the kids school stuff and pick my daughter up every night from sports (1hr and 10 minutes from my work) Clean all the a/c filters etc in the house Deal with any maintenance of home, vehicles etc that needs to be done She… Cools dinner 4 days a week and forces us to pay to eat out the other 3… says she deserves a break…. Cleaned the hardwood floors every other week Dusts the bedroom every other week Cleans her personal bathroom ONCE A MONTH! (Yea that’s a pet peeve) Grocery shops (she orders online and sits in her car while they load it) Am I out of line here by asking her to do more, it’s a real sticking point of our marriage. I love her but I am killing myself and no matter what I say she shits on it.
- Date posted
- 15w ago
please ignore the typos its hard to type right now. fir context me and my partner are both 21 and have been together for well over a year now. a situation happened with my partner and it felt bad, but i verbalized my discomfort with what happened and we set boundaries and over time i made sure to emphasize that boundary. its just to ask before anything sexual even just grabbing my breast or butt. He's gotten better at remembering or immediately stopping and asking if he forgot for a second which i appreciate and see as a progress of breaking a habit that i was okay with previously but wasn't anymore. the other night, he was sitting on the ground while I was standing and didn't have pants on and was on my phone for a moment and he licked a little bit right below my stomach and I moved him away and got upset because he forgot to ask before hand. He apologized and recognized right as i moved him away that he forgot to ask before and he made sure that i was aware that he recognizes that he is in the wrong and gave me space to talk with him but i felt really bad and scared about if what just happened was assault or not. he feels awful, and i have an ocd theme centered around the worry that he has SAed me and it was really getting to me. He encouraged me talk to a hot line for mental health, as well as open up to my mom about the situation since she's experienced SA and I trust her to be there for me and protect me. She said she also truly believes he had absolutely no ill intent and crossed a boundary on accident, and i agree, but i still feel so bad and feel the need to figure this out and what to do next. i don't know how to navigate this and what if that means that I can't move on from this and if that means I shouldnt be in this relationship anymore. I want to talk to a therapist about how to navigate this but I have no access to one and won't for months. this feels awful and so scary. i feel distant and different about my future with my partner and I dont know if I can get past this or if i should. I also was groomed when I was younger and I guess im also scared of being naive and too trusting of someone again. but the fact that my partner encouraged me to talk to other people about this shows me that he cares about me and my well being and that it truly was an accident. please someone read this and respond, I need help.
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
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