Can anyone read my last post? I’m sorry it’s long.

Thank you cat! For your honesty and encouragement. It was definitely a bad decision. Even though we got consent to continue, we should have realized that it still was just an uncomfortable thing to do. In the moment I promise it did feel very much like “yeah I’m fine do whatever you want” but we were being dumb and horny, and not thinking what he could have been feeling in the inside. Thank you for saying I deserve to be forgiven. This has felt like a dark cloud over my head, like I did some horrible thing and should be punished for.

Well thank you for being honest. I’m so sorry to know you had a worse experience. Please feel like you can open up if you want too. I would not judge you at all. And I am sure that whatever you did it is NOT who you are. We all make mistakes

Can you maybe post it on one of my comments? I don’t know how to read something someone recently posted

There are tags? Hah

So last summer I was with one of my best friends and we invited another guy were friendly with to hang with us with the intention of hooking up. When we got to his house he got weird and didn’t wanna do anything and so we obvi tried with him a few times but once he wasn’t into it we just were like ok cool whatever

So me and my friend started hooking up and we asked if that was ok while he was there and he was like yeah sure whatever

And when we finished I asked him like are you sure that was ok was that weird for you to be here and witness lol and he was like no no it’s fine

But over the year I got anxious maybe it was not a good situation with all of the MeToo stories coming out. Like my understanding of consent chandler

You had sex with your friend in front of him?

Personally I think this was a bad decision. It doesn’t matter if you asked him if he wanted to go, when you could tell he was uncomfortable. It seems like you’re just saying these things to make yourself feel better. Which is okay! I understand this completely. But you need to accept you did something wrong and more importantly that it is OKAY! You’re a human, we do wrong things. You feel bad about it, which signifies you are not this evil thing you think you are. What happened is not bad enough to destroy the person. They may never forget it, but it isn’t something that would cause permanent damage to relationships or anything like that. You’re being too hard on yourself. You need to forgive yourself. I think you deserve to be forgiven.

I have done something WAY worse than this, that even with a code name I don’t know if I will ever be able to say what it was I did. Maybe one day. I understand feeling like you need to be punished that you shouldn’t be forgiven. In my case I believe it because it was way worse. I know it seems like it is horrible and it has tormented you,I do not doubt this. But truthfully I wish my “bad thing” was your situation. I would rather have done what you did 100 times than what I did once. I don’t need assurance, just wanted to let you know it can quite literally always be worse.

Ok! It’s under the depression and getting support tags. Can you see those?

Yea I don’t know what you mean by that ??‍♀️

Oh sorry lol. Yeah when you post don’t you guys get tag options? Anyway I’ll send my story

So I just reached out to him and apologized and he was like it’s fine I’m fine, but I also felt like maybe he did feel weird about it which is understandable but I’m so scared he feels assaulted or something and I feel literally sick thinking I caused it

Sorry that’s a lot of info lol

Basically. Not sex though just made out and some other stuff. We asked him a few times if he cared and i deff remember saying to him we would drive him home and afterwords I personally asked him if he was cool or felt weird and he was like no I’m fine I just didn’t feel like doing anything/was tired. And that was it

When we got there we tried flirting with him a bit and there was some touching (maybe he kissed my friend?) but then he really lost interest so we kinda just were like oh ok well whatever. But now I’m paranoid that that is actually something bad or that he felt taken advantaged of and when I reached out he didn’t seem upset just awkward and not into maybe how it all went down. Which is totally fair! I’m just having a hard time accepting I took part in something so stupid/could have maybe hurt someone