- Username
- figuringitallout
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you cat! For your honesty and encouragement. It was definitely a bad decision. Even though we got consent to continue, we should have realized that it still was just an uncomfortable thing to do. In the moment I promise it did feel very much like “yeah I’m fine do whatever you want” but we were being dumb and horny, and not thinking what he could have been feeling in the inside. Thank you for saying I deserve to be forgiven. This has felt like a dark cloud over my head, like I did some horrible thing and should be punished for.
Well thank you for being honest. I’m so sorry to know you had a worse experience. Please feel like you can open up if you want too. I would not judge you at all. And I am sure that whatever you did it is NOT who you are. We all make mistakes
Can you maybe post it on one of my comments? I don’t know how to read something someone recently posted
There are tags? Hah
So last summer I was with one of my best friends and we invited another guy were friendly with to hang with us with the intention of hooking up. When we got to his house he got weird and didn’t wanna do anything and so we obvi tried with him a few times but once he wasn’t into it we just were like ok cool whatever
So me and my friend started hooking up and we asked if that was ok while he was there and he was like yeah sure whatever
And when we finished I asked him like are you sure that was ok was that weird for you to be here and witness lol and he was like no no it’s fine
But over the year I got anxious maybe it was not a good situation with all of the MeToo stories coming out. Like my understanding of consent chandler
You had sex with your friend in front of him?
Personally I think this was a bad decision. It doesn’t matter if you asked him if he wanted to go, when you could tell he was uncomfortable. It seems like you’re just saying these things to make yourself feel better. Which is okay! I understand this completely. But you need to accept you did something wrong and more importantly that it is OKAY! You’re a human, we do wrong things. You feel bad about it, which signifies you are not this evil thing you think you are. What happened is not bad enough to destroy the person. They may never forget it, but it isn’t something that would cause permanent damage to relationships or anything like that. You’re being too hard on yourself. You need to forgive yourself. I think you deserve to be forgiven.
I have done something WAY worse than this, that even with a code name I don’t know if I will ever be able to say what it was I did. Maybe one day. I understand feeling like you need to be punished that you shouldn’t be forgiven. In my case I believe it because it was way worse. I know it seems like it is horrible and it has tormented you,I do not doubt this. But truthfully I wish my “bad thing” was your situation. I would rather have done what you did 100 times than what I did once. I don’t need assurance, just wanted to let you know it can quite literally always be worse.
Ok! It’s under the depression and getting support tags. Can you see those?
Yea I don’t know what you mean by that ??♀️
Oh sorry lol. Yeah when you post don’t you guys get tag options? Anyway I’ll send my story
So I just reached out to him and apologized and he was like it’s fine I’m fine, but I also felt like maybe he did feel weird about it which is understandable but I’m so scared he feels assaulted or something and I feel literally sick thinking I caused it
Sorry that’s a lot of info lol
Basically. Not sex though just made out and some other stuff. We asked him a few times if he cared and i deff remember saying to him we would drive him home and afterwords I personally asked him if he was cool or felt weird and he was like no I’m fine I just didn’t feel like doing anything/was tired. And that was it
When we got there we tried flirting with him a bit and there was some touching (maybe he kissed my friend?) but then he really lost interest so we kinda just were like oh ok well whatever. But now I’m paranoid that that is actually something bad or that he felt taken advantaged of and when I reached out he didn’t seem upset just awkward and not into maybe how it all went down. Which is totally fair! I’m just having a hard time accepting I took part in something so stupid/could have maybe hurt someone
can someone help me with my post from 6 hours ago please. just please.
Can somebody PLEASE reply on my last post Pls im begging
Hey everyone — I wrote this in my journal the other day and I’m curious if anyone else experiences “talking in circles” or not being able to “get to the point” when answering a question because you think that a lot of information is necessary to answer it. I have this problem with schoolwork. Instead of a one-sentence answer, I’ll write a long paragraph explaining details that are relevant but aren’t necessary to answer the question. This entry is out of context, but I think you’ll get the vibe: ‘I want to say that I understood what you were asking. You were asking, “What has helped you to make progress in the past?” I understood why you were asking that question: so that you can help facilitate me in following the plan. I suppose I just didn’t have a good answer. And when I tried to answer, the thought I expressed branched off into another semi-related topic. I feel as if I can’t get a clear thought through. It makes me feel like I am stupid and unable to hold a followable and intelligible conversation. And then I understood what you were doing in response: you acknowledged what I said respectfully and then found a way to circle back to your original question which I didn’t answer very well. And then I would try and explain my answer to the original question again, but I had no direct answer and it led me off onto another path. I feel as if my cognition makes it difficult to hold a cohesive, purposeful, and coherent conversation. I want to apologize because I feel like I’m waisting time instead of getting to the important questions / topics. I really, really wish I could just put my stupid thoughts together in a concise way so that I could answer your question. I am painfully aware of my circling thoughts and overly-detailed responses that are difficult to follow. I am very self-conscious of it. And I am very well aware of which thoughts are normal and which are disordered. That’s why I always say, “I know that’s disordered.” I get afraid that people will think I’m crazy. I don’t know why this happens to me. Maybe it’s OCD, anxiety, or maybe it’s some other disorder that I’m not diagnosed with yet (ADD)? I’m also unsure if I talk like this all the time or if it’s only when I get anxiety or when a lot of thoughts that I want to express come into my mind at once. The same thing sometimes happens when I do my schoolwork. I get anxiety that what I am saying is unintelligible and that what I am saying makes no sense. I wonder if more medication will help or if this is just how I think. And I bet I’ve repeated myself numerous times in this script. So I’ll stop writing. I hope my point came across and I hope I was able to express all that I felt the need to say.’
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