Could this be related? (20+)

I’ve been struggling a lot with reducing my porn consumption, I just feel horrible while watching it and get a lot of terrible intrusive thoughts while watching it, it’s horrible. I just saw a video talking about Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder and I was wondering if this could be related to OCD? I’m no therapist, I’m studying psychology but I’m no where near qualified to even joke about that, but I’ve heard a lot of people saying that porn addiction isn’t real and that it’s more of how you view porn that brings in the shame, but as a teenager, when I didn’t really feel shame from watching porn, I still watched it a lot and hated the intrusive thoughts that came with it. I don’t know, a lot of my sexual behavior does feel compulsive as if if I’m using it as a compulsion to reduce anxiety, or at least as an outlet of stress, but I just feel worse after, and it goes into my POCD as well since I’m horrified of possibly seeing anything illegal on accident. It’s terrible, I just want to stop, I feel gross and just want to see people that I might find attractive and not have these gross thoughts

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

There's a lot of unfortunate realities when it comes to porn usage these days. It's terrible that it's become common for adolescents and sometimes younger people coming across this content before they even have an understanding of what sex even is to begin with. The idea that you fear seeing something illegal tells me that the last thing you would want is to intentionally find something that is unethical. You also want to quit pornography but have trouble with it. People say that there doesn't exist porn addictions, but I disagree wholeheartedly. If anything, you can be addicted to many things that aren't in the category of drugs. You're also saying that you've had intrusive thoughts for a long time when watching porn. Sounds like deep down, you see it as bad for you and don't really want it but you watch it because it feels like the dopamine is a need. Maybe ask yourself questions on your use of porn like why you watch porn, what makes you triggered to watch it, and how does it comfort you in ways other activities don't give you the same comfort. For you to see people as attractive without those bothersome thoughts is not exactly in your control. Allow yourself to think your thoughts without judging them or pushing them away. Accept them. Accept everything that's going on right now. You're struggling with porn, thoughts, and urges outside of using it. You can slowly work your way up to fix these things.

OCDHaver

Date posted: 2y

@BigGip09 So radical acceptance I suppose, yeah. Today I went without watching porn and it felt great, I really do believe that my porn consumption is a compulsion, like today, I went totally well today and felt good for the most part, but then when I realized I hadn’t watched porn today, I felt this weird sudden urge to watch it, but more of an anxious feeling, it’s horrible, but I didn’t give in. I think my porn consumption also ties back into my low self esteem and self destructive behavior, but that’s another conversation. Thank you for replying, it’s really difficult not labeling your thoughts

BigGyro09

Date posted: 2y

@OCDHaver You probably felt that because you're just so used to watching it in the first place that it's what's normal. I felt the same way about it when I was trying to stop and it still comes up from time to time. It also sounds like you know where your feelings about yourself lie when you use this. Sounds like you really don't want to and it isn't good for you

Canofbeans

Date posted: 22w

Adult content and OCD (18+)

I thought I'd gotten over sexual obsessions, since they haven't been bothering me at all until I had a flare up yesterday. I usually struggle with masturbation due to a combination of both anorgasmia from SSRI medication along with intrusive thoughts, so I thought that an adult film should work fine and went on the hub as per usual. Everything went well until I "finished" and looked at the video title afterwards. My stomach dropped as the title had the word "teen" it in. I felt nauseous and gross because I'd previously struggled and became horrifically suicidal due to the pocd I thought I had under control. Now I know that by the word teen, it means an adult actress that's 18-19 and I'm only 20. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm gross for watching and that it was illegal material, even though I am fully aware that it wasn't, so I've been ruminating over it endlessly. This is more of a vent, but I feel like all the progress I've made with my ocd just went down the drain ☹️

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w

I’m freaking out please help

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

Masterbation OCD/real event OCD

I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that

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