- Date posted
- 2y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I know the feeling and am the same. I am also a Christian who is going through SOOCD and ROCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm It’s so difficult. It makes me contemplate what I thought I knew…. I pray for this to end.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Me too. Everyday.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww It didn’t help that I would watch lesbian porn when I was younger and then when I was pregnant with my first kid. But I never act or have desires on such things, I’ve never even had thoughts of being with girls and now it feels like my body is telling me that I’m something I’m not and it scares me to death. I don’t want to leave my husband and my child over something false. I pray everyday to beat this and to be happy again
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm This. Spoke volumes, I had the same experience, I was young and stupid… made stupid decisions like that and I feel like it’s effecting me now
- Date posted
- 2y
Yep. Like I need to figure it out now. I’m not even looking to date, I’m just looking to find God, I’m listening to his word. Reminding myself of his truth, not my truth
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Are you also Christian with soocd?
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é Yes. Its a big struggle
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Yoooo finally a Christian that gets me. I genuinely love God, I’m not being forced, so I’m not even looking to leaving Christianity. I’m just conflicted. Having a different orientation isn’t even something I want personally.
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é Me too! I found God on my own, not because I was forced in religion even though I did have those classes! But I’ve just always loved the Lord. It has been such a struggle for me with this. Making me question if I am or if I’m not. I know it goes against God’s word, but it’s not like I want to act upon it or i even have the desires toward the same sex… it’s just the thought, it scared me it freaks me out. I pray and pray to make it stop but I just feel like it never ends… I’ve always dreamed of getting married and I want to honor God, I want to get married in a church and not even think of divorce as an option. But this is just scaring me, making me doubt the life I always wanted
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Oh dear, sending you hugs.. I can’t imagine the anxiety you’re going through. It’ll get better for us ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é It’s a big struggle, its also beginning to feel like I’m using God’s word to to hid from then “truth” like that I’m only using that to hide from this thought, cause I don’t want to admit to it. But quite honestly I’ve admitted to myself maybe I am…. Im just never settled. All I know is I will not be acting upon any same sex actions as I don’t do any opposite sex acts because I’ve want to wait for my marriage. I face the Lord with this and am being as open an honest with him. Trying to understand why this is what I’m struggling with, accepting myself for what this is and then having the Lord heal me from these thoughts. I know He’s got something good for us. We’ll get the life we deserve all though is Glory. We should believe in His word as much as possible, not in the sins of the world. As this thought causing stress. Talking about it helps me.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Exactly and I never knew I had ocd before, but everyone had an idea and it was under control until Covid hit and then when I got pregnant, it got even worse
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@polishgirl I accept that love is love. Just the thought of changing into something I’m not, scares me
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm I relate. I tell myself that i accept myself for who I am. No matter what, but when I tell myself that it still feel stress and anxiety. It’s never settling. Just keep praying to God, we’ll get passed this. And I believe this is why we need him because we would never be satisfied on our own. He can help us live in true happiness as long as we follow His path.
- Date posted
- 2y
Thanks to everyone for replying this. Nice to see that I’m not alone ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
- Date posted
- 19w
I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!
- Date posted
- 18w
Every single time me and my boyfriend do anything sexual, I feel really really guilty about it after. We’ve never had sex before but have done other things and I don’t feel guilty about it in the moment, but afterwards I feel guilty. I don’t necessarily regret doing it but I just feel horrible as a human. He does not push himself on me in anyway and I know it’s all a me thing. He is very cautious in making sure I’m comfortable and feel okay, but I don’t start feeling guilty until afterwards. I feel like this always relates back to my faith, which has recently fallen off. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this because I always get told the benefits of waiting for marriage. And honestly I do understand that, but I don’t know that I want to wait. I feel like people keep shoving “waiting for marriage” down my throat and it draws me so much further from Christianity and makes things so much harder to feel close to God again. I just feel so lonely in feeling these things and scared I’m going to hell if I keep doing stuff with my boyfriend, but I genuinely don’t know what I believe in anymore and it’s draining me that my values are changing. I know it’s probably healthy and natural for values to change as you grow up, but I feel like there’s a stereotype of Christianity I have to adhere to and it makes me so anxious and scared I’m going to hell if I don’t get everything perfect. My relationship with Christ isn’t something that I involve others in because of how personal it is to me. But I just feel shamed upon by every other Christian and it makes me scared for myself and sad for the way society is making it such a black and white view of this religion.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond