- Date posted
- 2y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I know the feeling and am the same. I am also a Christian who is going through SOOCD and ROCD
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm It’s so difficult. It makes me contemplate what I thought I knew…. I pray for this to end.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Me too. Everyday.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww It didn’t help that I would watch lesbian porn when I was younger and then when I was pregnant with my first kid. But I never act or have desires on such things, I’ve never even had thoughts of being with girls and now it feels like my body is telling me that I’m something I’m not and it scares me to death. I don’t want to leave my husband and my child over something false. I pray everyday to beat this and to be happy again
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm This. Spoke volumes, I had the same experience, I was young and stupid… made stupid decisions like that and I feel like it’s effecting me now
- Date posted
- 2y
Yep. Like I need to figure it out now. I’m not even looking to date, I’m just looking to find God, I’m listening to his word. Reminding myself of his truth, not my truth
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Are you also Christian with soocd?
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é Yes. Its a big struggle
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Yoooo finally a Christian that gets me. I genuinely love God, I’m not being forced, so I’m not even looking to leaving Christianity. I’m just conflicted. Having a different orientation isn’t even something I want personally.
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é Me too! I found God on my own, not because I was forced in religion even though I did have those classes! But I’ve just always loved the Lord. It has been such a struggle for me with this. Making me question if I am or if I’m not. I know it goes against God’s word, but it’s not like I want to act upon it or i even have the desires toward the same sex… it’s just the thought, it scared me it freaks me out. I pray and pray to make it stop but I just feel like it never ends… I’ve always dreamed of getting married and I want to honor God, I want to get married in a church and not even think of divorce as an option. But this is just scaring me, making me doubt the life I always wanted
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yeehaww Oh dear, sending you hugs.. I can’t imagine the anxiety you’re going through. It’ll get better for us ❤️
- Date posted
- 2y
@r é It’s a big struggle, its also beginning to feel like I’m using God’s word to to hid from then “truth” like that I’m only using that to hide from this thought, cause I don’t want to admit to it. But quite honestly I’ve admitted to myself maybe I am…. Im just never settled. All I know is I will not be acting upon any same sex actions as I don’t do any opposite sex acts because I’ve want to wait for my marriage. I face the Lord with this and am being as open an honest with him. Trying to understand why this is what I’m struggling with, accepting myself for what this is and then having the Lord heal me from these thoughts. I know He’s got something good for us. We’ll get the life we deserve all though is Glory. We should believe in His word as much as possible, not in the sins of the world. As this thought causing stress. Talking about it helps me.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Exactly and I never knew I had ocd before, but everyone had an idea and it was under control until Covid hit and then when I got pregnant, it got even worse
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
@polishgirl I accept that love is love. Just the thought of changing into something I’m not, scares me
- Date posted
- 2y
@Millerbm I relate. I tell myself that i accept myself for who I am. No matter what, but when I tell myself that it still feel stress and anxiety. It’s never settling. Just keep praying to God, we’ll get passed this. And I believe this is why we need him because we would never be satisfied on our own. He can help us live in true happiness as long as we follow His path.
- Date posted
- 2y
Thanks to everyone for replying this. Nice to see that I’m not alone ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says “this proves that your thoughts are true and your perverse” and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me “you traumatized her she just doesn’t wanna tell you” obliviously this isn’t true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that they’re more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just can’t get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.
- Date posted
- 23w
TW: themes of sexual abuse, exploitation, etc Hello I am feeling a bit distressed today. I realized I have pretty “sex negative” views which I feel like many stem from OCD and trauma. Some of my feelings are good and I would argue most stem from a healthy place but I feel like they impact my life and emotional state on an unhealthy level. For example feel VERY strongly about CSA, rape, sexual exploitation of any kind, unethical sex etc. I have a strong pattern recognization ability and see how so many things people deem as “sex positive” (porn, onlyfans, casual sex etc) have a net negative effect on society (abuse, cheating, stds, etc) I think a good amount of the population agrees with these values so I don’t feel alone in that but I feel like I spend so much time being sad over these things. I used to listen to a lot of sexual music growing up (mainly mainstream pop like Ke$ha and Rihanna) and then in my teens I listened to a lot of rap. I noticed how this made me sexualize myself growing up which makes me very uncomfortable and sad. Another thing which makes me sad is how so much of the population was exposed to pornography at a young age. I recently was at a estate sale and there were old playboy magazines and this man was showing his son who looked to be about 9 the magazines and it made me so uncomfortable because that’s grooming and abuse. I didn’t know what to do so I just said “ew” but I still feel guilty I did not do anything more. I just don’t know how to cope with these feelings. I am also Catholic and the abuse crisis has deeply impacted my ability to practice my faith. Two priests whom were close to my family got exposed for sexually abusing children. This is a big reason I have not been able to go to confession (which leads me to being unable to receive the Eucharist, which is a big deal). I constantly obsess over the fact I won’t be able to tell who is a sexual predator and it brings me great distress. Also, sexual music, sex scenes in movies, sexual jokes etc all make me deeply uncomfortable. Hearing about my friend’s sexual lives also makes me very uncomfortable and sad for them, in a way, if I deem their experiences unethical. I feel very upset when people sexualize themselves. I also hate when I experience sexual feelings myself and often find myself wishing I was asexual even though I wish to get married and be a mother. I feel judged by society for being a “prude” “puritanical” etc which feels incredibly invalidating as a lot of my trauma involves exploitation under the guise of “liberation” I don’t really know where I’m going here I think I just want to know if anyone feels similarly. I don’t find many people with views and feelings similar to myself. A lot of people online who I feel like my views overlap with (other Catholics, radical feminists, etc) have views which stem from a lot of judgement and hate whereas I feel like I just want everyone to be safe and happy. I think a lot of my feelings stem from my trauma but obsessions from OCD? For my other forms of OCD (contamination, harm, etc) I feel like exposure therapy helps but I don’t know how I’d go about exposure therapy with this then without further causing more distress. I feel very nervous opening up with anyone about this theme. If you read to the end thank you so much❤️🩹 I am sorry if this post was triggering at all to anyone else I just didn’t know where to go to open up about this :(
- Date posted
- 23w
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
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