- Username
- Heyhowareya
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Partner has ROCD
My boyfriend has ROCD and it can get tough or discouraging at times but I’m in it for the long haul. Does anyone have any affirmations that help them?
- Username
- LucyALucyA
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Ask him what his thoughts are telling him, and treat them w caution- like u would if a child was telling u ab their nightmares, you’d be calm, kind& considerate. Stay like that and work through his thoughts w him, he might get overwhelmed or upset w himself but just stay calm and do ur best, that’s all u can do, it’s so lovely ur educating yourself- he’s v lucky to have u :)& also remember his thoughts and him are 2 different things, he would love u w all his heart and still have these thoughts, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love u tho, I wish u both luck xx
- Username
- HeyhowareyaHeyhowareya
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Thank you these comments are very helpful I appreciate you taking the time type this out!
- Username
- 0cdssucks0cdssucks
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Do you have ROCD? aswell or are you trying to educate yourself?
- Username
- HeyhowareyaHeyhowareya
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I don’t I’m educating myself
- Username
- 0cdssucks0cdssucks
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Heyhowareya Personally i have ROCD, It’s honestly torture.. i’m not your boyfriend so i’m not sure how it’s like for him but i know personally i fear the abandonment, I fear that I don’t do enough for them, i shame myself over mini mistakes that someone who does have it, i find myself over explaining my feelings so they could understand, if i don’t over explain i’ll completely over think anything until someone else brings it up, constant reassurance is helpful but not good if he wants to get better. Do small actions to make him feel cared about because ROCD really mushes reality to false reality. He can be looping and scared that he will loose you for hours then question if he loves you- then he will feel so guilty for every thinking he doesn’t love you so he try’s to make it up by trying to relief the Ocd by impulsively trying to make things right to you telling you perhaps just so he can feel better which could offend you. BEST thing to do is reassure by actions just say “everything is going to be okay” i been with my boyfriend he doesn’t have ROCD he also knows my ocd is very very difficult for me so he just tells me that everything is going to be OK nothing more than that and he hugs me and then he kisses me and then he just reminds me that everything’s gonna be OK and that my thoughts and worries aren’t reality and the reality is that he’s here and i don’t need to worry about the What ifs
- Username
- JB1020JB1020
- Date posted
- 2y ago
From the tone of your post I deduce he has the "avoidance" type of ROCD - i.e. he questions *his* love/attachment/behavior and not so much yours. I think you want to get to a place where you are sure not to give reassurance (unless he is really spiraling and in bad shape) and encourage him to tolerate the anxiety/uncertainty without resorting to compulsions. The key is really being able to sit with and habituate to the intrusive thoughts. Things that help me: "A thought is just a thought." "You are not always your thoughts." "You can tolerate intrusive thoughts". "You can tolerate uncertainty". "Love is action not feelings". "Love is action not thoughts." "You don't need 100% certainty to act in life." For your own psyche - it helps to view it as an unhelpful pattern of thinking that can attach itself to basically anything. It's not about you. Many of us have had many different obsessive-compulsive themes. It's about fundamentally being able to face fears and tolerate anxiety without resorting to compulsions. I have/had attachment ROCD - lived together, got married recently, going to start a family. Keep your chin up!
- Username
- JB1020JB1020
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Meant to say I have/had *avoidance* ROCD.
Related posts
- Username
- kells
- Date posted
- 5y ago
My partner has ROCD and we’ve struggled a lot to keep our relationship healthy because of it. We broke up temporarily because it was so hard for me to deal with him being so distant when he was stuck in thought loops and when he would share all the doubts he thought about me it would make me extremely insecure. We are back together now and trying to create healthy boundaries. His ROCD makes me feel like I’m the only one rooting for us and holding us together. I am beginning to take the time to research more about OCD to better understand what he is going through and figure out the best way to support him. I just get so overwhelmed that he will never be happy with me. Any advice?
- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i personally do not have OCD, but my boyfriend has ROCD and it’s really taking a toll on us and our relationship and i’m not sure how to stop getting upset over his negative thoughts
- Username
- Chlo_alexis
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Question
Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up
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