I had a dramatically “bad” thought (about my 12 yr son) this morning as I was rising from bed. It is now 4pm and the thought is still with me: NR, ACT each more than once; natural distraction with phone call and a long walk in the drizzling rain. Thoughts are just thoughts, etc. I have been told these thoughts just take time to leave the mind. What do you know? And will you pls share it with me? Thx!
What I know is that when the thought is so alarming, our alert system goes overboard causing the thought to get stuck, weaselling it’s way deeper in your mind. Esp when we are most vulnerable (eg sick). The more we try to push it away, the more it sticks.
@divyD If you want to go deeper into this, read Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts.
@divyD Understanding the mechanics of what’s happening in my brain and body helped me through this. I imagine my ocd/anxiety/thought as a big monster that I’m going to starve. If I give in to my fears and compulsion s, it gets fatter. Now, when I get the thought (I get them a few times a day but they don’t stick in there all day), I tell myself this: “a thought has intruded on my awareness and I know this because I feel a sense of urgency to act on it/distressed/etc. But it’s just a thought and these feelings are an automatic response. Thanks brain for doing your job but you’re going overboard. I actually can safely leave these thoughts alone and nothing bad is going to happen by not acting on it (my checking compulsions). I know the key to managing my ocd is to accept uncertainty - maybe it will happen and maybe it won’t. Either way, I’m gonna be ok. For now, I’m not going to bother dignifying these thoughts with a response. I’m going to float away from these thoughts (I take 3 deep breathes and ground myself in present moment) and carry on with whatever I was doing thusly allowing my natural calming process to kick in”. I hope the analogy and some of the above words resonate with you enough to try them.
And how!!
@divyD : Hi there thank you so much for this response I have that book and read about 2/3 of it not all of it it was really helpful. I only stopped reading it because one of the examples that they shared about intrusive thoughts triggered me and that was how I started to realize I had OCD with my how I was reacting to that trigger… Anyway yesterday I focused on a combination of what they teach in the blue book and also what the ERP teachers teach about response prevention and frankly sometimes I get confused because I’m using both techniques and they get wound up together… sometimes and I can’t tell which one is better than the other. I would probably rather do the blue book way or the way you described then the non-response way because I have less experience in the non-response way and because it doesn’t seem to have written with in it the concept of mindful living as you come out of some kind of transitional mindfulness experience. I am wondering if you could help me understand how moving in and out of I was going to say avoidance but I mean non-engagement how moving in and out of non-engagement and moving back into this place where the focuses on the present moment would be helpful to me also it seems that I may have been suppressing some of my negative thoughts and they came back today even though there isn’t a thought anymore but there is a feeling it’s a feeling of being anxious that seems attached to my son who has you know is the subject of everything I went through yesterday because of the thought about him that I had had so I’m wondering what you would advise I know you’re not a doctor or therapist or anything but it sounds like we could be fellow travelers thank you for taking your time I appreciate it
@jgumucio I’m sorry you got triggered from the book. It is good though you had the awareness of it! Maybe you could read it as part of your erp? Or skip it and come back to it another time if you feel it’s worth doing so. What is the non-response way of dealing with a trigger? I totally understand that it’s easy to get confused with multiples strategies. There are lots of things that can help with not getting entangled with the thoughts and feelings. What helps me the most is to speak out loud the words/sayings I mentioned before. I imagine a fat monster (the anxiety) and myself floating away from it. I tell myself that it’s safe what I’m doing (not entangling). The next step is to take a calm yourself and carry on with whatever you were doing. Basically redirect your mind. You can calm and ground yourself in the moment by taking deep, calming breathes. Try to notice your environment- what can you see? Hear? Smell? What does the ground feel like under your feet? You could also engage with your son if he’s there with you at the time. Consider what your face is telling him - are your frowning? Do you look sad? Instead, can you try to make him laugh? Blow raspberries on his skin, make silly faces, sing what your feeling to the tune of a nursery rhyme, anything fun. Once you see his smile and hear him laugh, it’s the best way to get into the moment! Carry on with the task or your day as normal. It really does help diminish the power of the compulsions and thoughts! I hope some of this helps! Appreciate you! Hang in there
I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/
Hi everyone. I’ve been doing therapy for about two months now and I would say it’s slowly helping me a lot. I explained to her the breathing techniques and “sitting in the anxiety for a bit” and I feel like those are helping. But then my therapist said “don’t sit in the thought because then you might act on it”. I don’t “sit in the thought” but rather i sit in the anxiety to comdition my brain into thinking it’s not a threat. But ever since yesterday, my therapy appointment, I’ve been really shooken up. Even though I don’t “sit in the thought” I feel like a bad person that she even had to bring it up even though I explained it wrong. I’m so upset I feel like I just took 3000 steps back from my progress and this little thing is really scaring me. Am I a bad person? I don’t want to act on any of my thoughts and it scares me so bad I hate living.
I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?
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