Ocd

I had a horrible thought and it was my own thought. I feel awful. Also my heart is racing all the time

idk why this is such a recurrent thing for me , I get so scared through the day when I’m not distracted when I think about psychosis. or being put in a mental hospital that it gives me bad anxiety, one time I had a panic attack at the thought of having it 💔 I can’t pin point if it’s intrusive thoughts because it’s a fear of mine .. or not. I think this is the worst thought / fear I have

I just started doing therapy my own for ocd and depression I was feeling sad earlier I get those thoughts like again this sadness when this gonna stop I m tired I don’t want that feeling then I get the urge to fix this feeling is this OCD the needing to know how long gonna last or the wanting to fix it and make it better