Feels like it’s sunk in. Please help

I used to have this almost foggy feeling in my mind that was just always there saying “you’re gay” that I could not escape from. Last night and this morning, the fog is gone, but it feels like it’s sunk in. My head doesn’t feel the thoughts and I don’t feel anxious per se but yet my heart is pounding. I worry that I’m forcing it to pound because and that I don’t care about the thoughts anymore. I was able to get aroused fantasizing about a woman this morning, and enjoyed the feeling, but I can’t shake this feeling as though the thoughts have “sunk in.” When I think back to past relationship, crushes, things like that they all seem like distant memories that I long to be closer. I just ended a relationship. I want to feel those feelings still. I want to know they’re real. But yet part of me just feels “eh” about it all and that’s what scares me the most.