it feels so real guys. Ive always wanted a husband and kids and a family, but now these thoughts are making me believe differently maybe in denial. I hate these thoughts so so much i just want them to go away. any advice?
I’m feeling this too. I’m feeling like what if I don’t want that anymore, is that really what I wanted?? I cant even tell. I’m just leaving my trust in God as I cannot try and control my mind but God had control over me.
@Yeehaww yes!! keep trust in god and remind yourself that this is ocd trying to trick you. stay strong ♥️
To feel so stressed is not even worth it. I find peace in God and scripture. I’m not compulsions as much which I’m thankful for. Just day by day I know Jesus saved
I feel the same way. It kind of went away for a bit. I mean, the urgency and the thoughts. But after that I started thinking why don't I feel like having sex with him all the time and the only explanation from OCD was that I was a lesbian. I realize it doesn't really make sense and I try to be with the uncertainty but the feeling doesn't seem to leave.
I feel this deeply. Was just listening to a song called Prince of Peace by Hillsong United that I’ve found comfort in when it gets scary. The bridge says: “Your love surrounds me When my thoughts wage war When night screams terror There your voice will roar Come death or shadow God I know your light will meet me there.”
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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