Scrupulosity

Thank you yes that does help. I struggle with this a lot but I know I can be certain God loves me and knows my heart.

Try and remember that thoughts are just thoughts- in and of themselves they are not good or bad- thinking something is not the same as doing it. Thats the first thing. Second- ERP teaches you not to give into the compulsion when you have OCD. Thats because when you give into the compulsions you are inadvertently strengthening the fear- you are basically telling your brain that there was an actual danger when there wasn't. It is a faulty alarm system that is going off in your brain. The idea is that you sit in uncertainty- maybe this is a sin, maybe it isn't- I find it helpful to recognize (not as a compulsion) that God knows our intents, our hearts, even when we doubt them. Hope this helps. Seeing a ERP therapist would really help you to better develop specific ERP surrounding your obsessions and compulsions.

Yes I agree with Stacy. Our God understands we are dust. He understands our battle to not give into our compulsions because he literally experienced it too when He was here. The focus we need is not to think "Is giving into this compulsion mean my thought is true?". That turns our eyes onto us and away from Christ. Compulsions are rooted in fear, they are completely different from how we fight actual sin and temptation. In my compulsions there are always red flags of a choking anxiety, a "I HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT NOW" drive, and a lot of fear. Not so with real sin. Remember in those moments, when your compulsions scream for relief, who God is. What is his heart towards you in that moment, when that thought lands on you? How does He look at you in that moment, as His child? Fight the lies with truth. Be brave. Move in His grace through the uncertainty to not do your compulsion.

I have scrupulosity too and struggle with this. The sermon on the mount really enforces my thought action fusion. Christ said if we think about adultery then we are adulterous. To me that verifies that just having that thought makes me guilty of the sin. Then I find myself feeling guilty and heavy burdened by my horrid wretched self. But as Christians this feeling shouldn’t be there we live under Grace so there is no condemnation for us. With scrupulosity we tend to feel like we still live under the law but we are saved through Christ and our sins/thoughts/compulsions are forgiven for He paid the price. One thing I have to go back to again and again is the scriptures tell us not to judge well that’s not just others we shouldn’t judge ourselves either. God loves us and because we have a harder path then most our reward will be greater then most when we complete our mission. Remember we can’t be perfect and God knows this that is why Christ came and redeemed us all through His sacrifice.

If you are having to do a compulsion to address a thought, is that a wanted thought? I don’t know maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. Having a thought means nothing more than having a thought. It is not a wishful experience but rather a human experience.