Trying to see my reaction

I can't anymore.. Erp is very traumatic for me. It's about a sexual topic, and I come out with those scenes in my head, as well as photos of that person where their face makes me think of sexual grimaces. Every time, but every time during practice, I get detailed scenes and groinal. To me it looks like real sexual excitement, and I don't know exactly how to be immune to something that is sex in itself! I don't believe it's part of ocd at all..because it won't come off me and I can't believe it's not me

I have HOCD and ROCD and it makes me wanna puke all day I live with my husband

I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.