Its no longer the thoughts that bother me it's the fact I lost my identity idk who I am anymore neither do I feel like my normal self. I just want this to all go away so I can be my happy self knowing who I was before this nightmare.
I felt like this when I woke up and I still do. The intensity OCD is willing to go to make you believe it's lies is beyond me. It is so bad that I cried my eyes out a few seconds ago and ots not fun. I have lots of OCD themes happening at once. I have intrusive thought a lot and even the obsessions within one theme switch all the time. When my SO-OCd is active, I have intrusive thoughts about being lesbian or bi, then if I have another theme rush in all while that is happening and then I have intrusive thoughts about wanting to be a guy, and because I chose to be childfree I have intrusive thought about wanting to be a mother and these switch out with each other alot. My life was changed bc of this and not in a good way. Some days I can handle them and just acknowledge these thoughts and move on, and on days like today it takes a toll on me and make me feel like im losing my identity and my sanity every singe day I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even when I sleep I can't escape my OCD themes It makes you have urges, intrusive feelings, and sensations, so when youre actually living your truth, you feel anxious becasue your feelings arent matching what you actually love and like because of OCD. To anyone who resonated with this post, i want you to know that OCD is chornic, and it honestly suck to hear that, but i belive you can get past these difficult (and false) feelings OCD love to pushes upon or lives to make us miserable. You are not your OCD! You are you and OCD can try, but it can't take that away from you, so keep fight everyone!!💖✨️💫
You are not alone I feel the same and it’s your OCD Telling you check the
TW I’m feeling really bad about myself today. I feel like a fraud and a liar. I’ve been unable to enjoy my time with my girlfriend because I’m bombarded with my thoughts. I’ve been asking for reassurance from so many people and nothing is helping. Nothing makes me feel better anymore and I’m worried that this is just how it’s going to be for forever. I miss when I could just be happy and not overthink so much. I miss being able to get through my days without this crippling anxiety. I’m worried there’s going to be a day where I realize I have no fight left in me
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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