After so many months of stress and rumination I just don’t even feel like that crazy about my boyfriend anymore. I feel super distant and just like put off. I have been ruminating for hours though at this point. I hope I can just chill and stop worrying. When I think about living without him I start to cry though. Sos guys lmao
I went through this 17 years ago with my husband (boyfriend then) and we’ve been happily married for 15 years. If he was ever annoying or anything, I was like, “oh no, I must not love him” but I knew I did. It made me feel insane because I knew I wanted to be with him but was having all these crazy thoughts and feelings. Truth of the matter is, every person will have their quirks and when you have ocd and it manifests, it could happen with any potential partner. I hope this helps in some way.
@Brigitte Thank you so much.
This is super common! I’ve gone through this many times before with my bf and that’s just your OCD playing. The more you ruminate, the more it’ll feel like it’s actually a problem. Crying over the thought of not being with him shows that you don’t want that. Just acknowledging that what you’re going through is OCD will help you not ruminate and get back to how you normally feel about him. Trust me girl, I’ve been there many times and that’s normal in relationships!
@maria001 Thank you!! I hope it’s ocd playing. I have some real doubts and like lack of attraction at times but it’s difficult because I’m always worrying so I don’t know if it’s real or ocd.
It started out like breaking up was terrifying and made me cry but as time went on and I got those thoughts more and more I just became used to it and almost like I want that someyimes- it’s so confusing. I know I want a break sometimes but I know I would want him back. I like don’t know what to do because I’m uncomfortable in the relationship and I know I would be uncomforyable out of it.
@Kate'sOCD Everyone definitely needs a break sometimes. I always thought if I wasn’t with him 24/7 it meant I didn’t love him or if I wanted to do something without him that it meant I didn’t love him. It was awful.
I really need someone to talk to… just to vent… if not.. i just need get this out and everything can ignore if they want.… I don’t know what to do… I know I’ve been severely obsessing for 2 year about if I truly love my partner or not for 2 years… I am severely saddened about how I feel right now…. Before I knew I wanted to love him and stay.. it felt genuine like I was really mentally sick… but now… my partner looks like a stranger to me, I get annoyed at him easily even if he’s just sitting still… it’s like he’s a different person to me and I hate it… I wanted so badly for me to know if I love him or not… and it’s like our time together never happened… I don’t cuddle talk or do much of anything anymore with him and it bothers me… I feel no emotional connection with him… maybe his flaws are too much for me… 😢😢 I don’t know…. I want to love him again like before but I completely feel like I’m lying to him and myself… I don’t wanna end my relationship I really don’t want to… I do t know how badly ROCD can get but… this is the worst I’ve ever had… my relationship is gonna die… 😢 I’m sitting here quietly crying while he is asleep….
i second guess my feeling for him basically 22 hours of the day and my intrusive thoughts are so aggressive too, like “you dont love him, you think hes ugly, you think he smells bad” stuff like that and they arent even “what if” thoughts anymore and i feel so guilty. I am basically at the point where I’ve convinced myself that im forcing myself to be in this relationship because i dont want to uproot my life and that i hate him, but every time i think about breaking up i start crying and i hate the idea and these thoughts give me SO much anxiety. To the point where i feel like i cant even eat sometimes, and i dont want to feel like this everyday because i want to be sure that i love my partner, and the small moments that im not spiraling, i feel so sure and so clear that i want to spend the rest of my life with him and i hate it because why is it that one moment i can be so sure that i love him and the one moment i feel like im lying to myself and i need to ruminate on that feeling. im so tired of myself.
Pls I beg you help me. It’s been two or threee days that I’m feeling proper proper stressed. Not just the average and usual doubt, these days it has felt proper proper real and it makes me feel sick, I can’t eat, I want to throw up, it’s taking over my whole body. I started feeling better about the doubts “is it love or attachment” and then another hit “maybe I’m with him just for the relationship and I don’t care about him I only care about the relationship”. I’ve made so much reassurance seeking with ChatGPT and some of the things were positive and others not and I felt even worse. Just because I don’t often think consciously about his happiness and I’m with him because I feel so cared for, supported, safe, my inner child comes out and spending time with him is my favorite thing even after a year of long distance. Help me I want to die because of how painful it is
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