EVERYTHING I SEE RELATED TO MY THEME TRIGGERS ME!!

Hello everyone..... I'm honesty so over this. I Haye the fact that my OCD theme is back and the anxiety hits super strong back to back to back and keeps going. I have been trying to stay off the internet and to not feed my ocd any more ideas, but it seems like evey where I trun, OCD uses evey chance it gets to make my anxiety spike more and more on after the other in a row. It was so bad I was crying my eyes out because these thoughts feel real and I hate them and I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I hate waking up now because I know what I'm getting myself into. I hate having to deal with my brain when I'm active. The only escape I have is sleep (95.5% of the time). I feel like im losing myself and I feel like im fighting to keep my identity safe from OCD. I'm tired, tearful, anxious, and stressed. Is so stressed to the point where I have physical pains in my back and develop headache. I want my life back and my sense of sanity back. I don't go on forums that much (reddit, quora, and google) Sometimes when I get numb from it all, I feel safer because u can't feel, and if I can't feel; I don't need to worry. Sleep is the only thing I look forward to because I can't even express my creativity( visual artists) without 4 or 5 intrusive thoughts following up.on each other along with intrusive feelings. I try and keep myself sane by playing bile games to re-directing my focus, but it works 50% of the time, which isn't bad, but from wverything I've stated above, it's not enough. I really Hate doing this because I know problems aren't as important, and people don't have time to stop and hear my thoughts and feelings, so I prefer to keep them to myself,; just so thay I don't burden or bother people with my issues when others have more issues than me. But I really feel broken and I feel.like my entire being is suffering because of it. TL;DR: my life is a living he'll I sleep Throught to cope, and I want to get rid of forums and ither things that feed my OCD to make it wores and throw things back in my face. Thank you to whoever had the patients to read this💙 Thank you so much... 💧🌧😞🌧💧

Username: Dothewalkoflife.

Date posted: 60d ago

Hi there. I’m here from your recent post. If you look how many likes this has. You’ll realise other people feel the same. Me too. I’m guessing for you it feels like a 10/10 on the realness scale. And so many other people feel that way. Maybe you also struggle with the ‘what if this isn’t ocd. And it’s real’ if so, that’s something ocd people say 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙙𝙖𝙮. Sleep is also the only escape for me too. Because it all feels so real and sleep is the only time my head is resting. I’m probably not much help. But I just wanted to let you know, that you are not alone. At all

Username: Acekid128

Date posted: 60d ago

Thabk you for sharing!!!! It's been do hard because things trigger ne so easily. I have SO-OCD, and I'm a straight female, but OCD loves to say I'm anything but that and I hate it. I don't like this because it makes me anxious and i feel bad when someone who is in the LGBTQIA+ community makes a post online or something (I have twitter) and they trigger my OCD. I support these people throught and through, but knowing I have OCD avoidance and magical thinking is something I struggle with al lot. I feel bad for avoiding these people, I dint Haye them, nor do I think they are weird, I just don't want my OCD to be triggered. I don't want to offened anyone. On a side note, in happy that I'm am not the o ly one who feels like tgeir OCD is dictating what they think and what they feel, it makes me feel less alone and crazy 💙✨️💫 thanks again P.s. what intrusive thoughts do you have??? And how do they affect you? (Not everyone handles their intrusive thoughts the same, so I want to find more techniques so I can try them out)

Username: Dothewalkoflife.

Date posted: 60d ago

@Acekid128 Well, today I’m not feeling any anxiety about the thought of being gay. And it’s scaring me. A lot. I’m hoping other people have felt this way

Username: Acekid128

Date posted: 60d ago

@Myheadhurts35 I feel you, my first intrusive thought was about me being Lesbian, then Bi, then Pan(which is the current one om dealing with). I sometimes feel embarrassed sharing my intrusive thoughts because they're so foreign to who I actually am, and I don't like these thoughts being in my head. Right now from 1-10, the realness is at a 5-ish right now, so it's getting a little better. Also, do you have any other themes?

Username: Nica

Date posted: 60d ago

If you’re over it, then 100% be over it. Don’t give into your OCD. Don’t fight against your OCD. Stay in the present moment and smile at life. Don’t seek reassurance, don’t ruminate, and don’t give into compulsions. All those things help combat OCD and its hold on you. Don’t give into it and don’t take it seriously. It gets bad the more we feed into it and the TRUE moment you’re done with OCD is when you stop giving a damn and living life without caring about OCD’s whims.

Username: Acekid128

Date posted: 60d ago

Thank you for your Words!!💙✨️💫 It's just so upsetting to constantly have these thought 25/8 465 I just wish I wasn't stuck with this illness😮‍💨 But I also know there is hope so I keep getting up everyday and I try to stay off reddit, quora, and google( unless it's actually important info and not compulsions🙂 Thanks again for your words, I appreciate them a whole lot!!!💫✨️⭐️✨️💫