- Date posted
- 61d ago
- "Pure" OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
EVERYTHING I SEE RELATED TO MY THEME TRIGGERS ME!!
Hello everyone..... I'm honesty so over this. I Haye the fact that my OCD theme is back and the anxiety hits super strong back to back to back and keeps going. I have been trying to stay off the internet and to not feed my ocd any more ideas, but it seems like evey where I trun, OCD uses evey chance it gets to make my anxiety spike more and more on after the other in a row. It was so bad I was crying my eyes out because these thoughts feel real and I hate them and I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I hate waking up now because I know what I'm getting myself into. I hate having to deal with my brain when I'm active. The only escape I have is sleep (95.5% of the time). I feel like im losing myself and I feel like im fighting to keep my identity safe from OCD. I'm tired, tearful, anxious, and stressed. Is so stressed to the point where I have physical pains in my back and develop headache. I want my life back and my sense of sanity back. I don't go on forums that much (reddit, quora, and google) Sometimes when I get numb from it all, I feel safer because u can't feel, and if I can't feel; I don't need to worry. Sleep is the only thing I look forward to because I can't even express my creativity( visual artists) without 4 or 5 intrusive thoughts following up.on each other along with intrusive feelings. I try and keep myself sane by playing bile games to re-directing my focus, but it works 50% of the time, which isn't bad, but from wverything I've stated above, it's not enough. I really Hate doing this because I know problems aren't as important, and people don't have time to stop and hear my thoughts and feelings, so I prefer to keep them to myself,; just so thay I don't burden or bother people with my issues when others have more issues than me. But I really feel broken and I feel.like my entire being is suffering because of it. TL;DR: my life is a living he'll I sleep Throught to cope, and I want to get rid of forums and ither things that feed my OCD to make it wores and throw things back in my face. Thank you to whoever had the patients to read this💙 Thank you so much... 💧🌧😞🌧💧