- Username
- owmybrainhurts
- Date posted
- 2y ago
ROCD
Really struggling to determine whether my doubts are vaild or not. I have a very blurry picture of what I envision for my future, ever since I was 18 Ive had this desire to run away and start a new life (22 now) I dont know whether its escapism or just my calling, but I dream of a nomadic life with no attachments to anything. I believe its strongly associated with OCD and the fears I have around commitment. But my partner has goals for his future, he can envision his life, and its becoming an issue that I cant envision mine. We would like to be able to line up our lives to see if we want the same things. Of course I want a life with him, but I am so controlled by fear I cant commit to anything. I cant commit to the idea of settling down, having kids, having a career. They all scare me. We’ve been together for 2 years and I still have been avoiding my thoughts out of fear that the truth is: Im not meant to be with anyone and I need to live life on my own with no ties to anything. My therapist said some really triggering stuff yesterday and now I cant stop thinking about the possibility that we may just be on different life paths, no matter how much we love eachother. Feeling defeated😣