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I felt the same way when I first started experiencing OCD with POCD. The constant thought of “I’d rather die than have these thoughts/urges.” You aren’t alone. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I swear you aren’t alone. You can talk to someone, you can put yourself in a psych ward so you can find ways to help yourself. Just don’t hurt yourself. As someone who has tried and ended up at the hospital, it’s not worth it.

Don't give up , you are not alone , keep fighting. I had pocd and medication change my life.

I understand you're afraid and have doubts . Try meditation and mindfulness to help you the intrusive thoughts and anxiety.

I feel the same way right now. I don’t want to hurt myself because I know there’s a chance I could get better, I just really don’t see it happening now. The thoughts are just too intense and it’s exhausting to just exist. I don’t have the energy to do homework or exercise or even talk to people. I just want everything to stop

Firstly, you are absolutely normal. Its the trickery of OCD which is making you feel this way. I am a 42 yo male and have had OCD all my life! Every theme you can think of, Ive had it. Currently its POCD consuming my mind. I have 2 beautiful children which makes it even harder for me, but I plan on beating this horrible illness for me and my family. You HAVE to keep on reminding yourself you haven't, wont and never will do what your brain thinks you will. That's just the OCD voice doing it's work. You are only 16 years old and have your whole life ahead of you. No, OCD wont go away but in time you will learn to be the one who controls your mind. Be strong, have faith in yourself and remember there are lots others out there going through the exact same. Good luck!!!

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hi! :) you took the words out of my own heart! I’ve felt the same way soo many times, but I promise you they DONT last!! The time will come when they decrease!! I also couldn’t pay for therapy so I only did 2. I so felt like that too like I couldn’t look at anyone at ALL! All ages, male/female! Imagine me! Trust me, I felt like I couldn’t keep a job, friends, EVEN my family! Believe me I HATE it and it did take months for me and I still have it but it’s definitely lowered! It’s been a couple years now and I’ve LEARNED a lot! Can I share my suggestions from my personal experience with you? :)

My name is Bee! :) and I send you A BIG HUG ok!! I understand your thoughts and feelings personally!!!

I sent u the above msg :)

The past 2 years I’ve noticed The BIGGEST influence on my OCD level of torture decreased when my anxiety was low and taken cared of! I noticed EXTREMELY nonstop thoughts and crazy emotions if I was super anxious! And believe me, I’ve been on a MISSION trying to find my personal cure (not obviously get rid of 100% but be able to control it) so I journaled a lot through all the trial and error to figure myself out and my patterns in my mental and physical behavior! I came to realize in my experience if I didn’t care for my health, my anxiety spiked! So I learned for myself this: If I didn’t sleep, if I didn’t eat 3 proper meals and stayed hydrated with water, didn’t do any exercise , didn’t have a healthy at least small amount of social interaction, or was super stressed, it made my OCD patterns spike! :( I also emphasize HEALTHY food cause I myself eat fast food and work a lot and ALL my habits, I’ve learned from! So the OVERALL health makes a HUGE difference OCD to me! Also I prayed with all my heart also of course which always brings me back to my HOPE! Finding your way to your hope is also the last but most important thing to carve out for yourself as you get through this horrible OCD destroyer! I wish I can tell you more but I know it’s a lot but I’m here for you!! I will keep sharing my story with you ok mushroomstew :)

I’m so glad you’re on here and that you’re sharing. I’m a 36 year old mother who is newly diagnosed with this as well. Only a few months ago I was absolutely terrified by what was occurring in my mind and had no idea it was OCD. My intrusive thoughts also made me feel I’d rather not be alive or that it would be better for my family if I were dead. I only share this to let you know I too have experienced that darkness. My heart feels for you. My friend, you are not alone. Let that sink in. When I found out I had OCD and that this was a taboo subtype that others also experience, it helped me a lot. It did not change my anxiety, but knowing it wasn’t just me struggling felt like a break through. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I know this is disturbing and very difficult to share with loved ones. Continue sharing here until you’re ready for that next step ♥️. There is hope—there truly is. It’s hard to believe now, but recovery is possible. If it’s possible for you to get your hands on this book, it has been pretty massive in helping me work through all of this. https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Workbook-OCD-Overcoming-Compulsions/dp/1684035635/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=20P5OT908VKJO&keywords=workbook+for+ocd&qid=1669984500&sprefix=workbook+for+ocd%2Caps%2C78&sr=8-1

Thx