my friend triggers me a lot. it’s something she doesn’t do on purpose but it’s to the point where i don’t want to talk to her or be around her anymore what do i do? should i try and pull away for my sake or shoukd i keeo trying. it hurt hurts a lot
It’s counterintuitive but I think you should try to hang out with her as much as you can. In fact, if it’s appropriate, ask her to do the thing that you dislike *more*. Avoidance is not how you beat this, exposure is. When she does the thing you don’t like, accept that it happened, accept that you don’t like it, and sit with it. Don’t try to solve it. Don’t try to block the thought. Don’t try to focus on it. Just let it exist.
@Wes01 i just have a lot of things about my self worth and stuff and it’s not something she can control. she’s in a relationship and it keeps triggering my compulsions and stuff and it makes me sad and lonely. basically i’m 17 and have had 0 dating experience. my friend who has also had 0 experience finally got a boyfriend. it feeds into my self worth issues and now all my obsessions are about me being a good person etc. i can’t explain it. everyone around me has had experiences except for me and her. but now it’s jsur me. and hearinf aboht the relationship makes me sad and question myself and i hage this feeling and i have absolutely no idea whag to do
@amysmith Are you in therapy right now? I’m not a therapist, but I can almost guarantee that isolating yourself from your friend and avoiding your trigger is a way to habituate this trigger.
@Wes01 Is not a way *
@Wes01 yeah i’m in therapy but i can’t see her a lot.. i have so many issues it’s very hard to keep track. i just am a very lost person and i just get guilty when i start feeling jealous. and whatever i feel is a catalyst to my obsessions and compulsions
@amysmith Taking a break for a minute while you figure this out is entirely okay, but you should bring this up in your next therapy session. This is hard, but you’ll get through it!
@amysmith i went through this exact same thing & im here to tell you you aren’t alone🤍 im 19 and I have no dating experience, and in a world where it feels like there is a timeline to life, it can start to eat at you. sometimes for me it helps if i remind myself that things will happen when they are meant to happen. i know it’s not the easiest thing because when you want a relationship and you don’t have it, it becomes something you almost crave. but i promise you things will happen when they are meant to & someone not being with you isn’t a reflection of your own worth. i hope you’re doing okay🤍
@D:) thank you for this!! i just feel so odd and not normal and that’s something i very much fear. i do fear rejection and being alone so it really does mess with my ocd :(( i just can’t even cope beinf around my friend because when she talks about it i just feel so sad about it
@Wes01 thank you so much for your time🧡🧡🧡🧡
@amysmith 100% relate to what you’re saying. you so badly want to be happy for your friend but it’s internally eating at you. i’m so sorry you are dealing with the idea of being different. that’s something i’m currently trying to get through, but it’s very hard sometimes. feeling different & having no relationship experience feel like they work hand in hand against you, but i promise you you will find someone when you’re time is right, and you have so much love to give to this world & you are so deserving and worthy of love🤍🤍
@D:) thank you, and so are you. i just don’t know what to do with this feeling. i’m not sure if i should stop talking to her or not because i’m unhappy when i do. i guess cuz i also feel like she doesn’t really deserve it for a number of different reasons.. idk it’s just very annoying to me but maybe if i’m feeling this was it’s a red flag thag maybe i don’t like her as much as i thought…. idk i’m really stuck and i can’t see my therapist for another 2 week so i’m just so feeling alone
@amysmith no i completely get what you mean. if there’s other reasons that are making you unhappy in the relationship, I would consider distancing yourself. i would say do what’s best for you while trying your best not to engage in avoidance
@D:) alright, i’ll keep that in mind thank you so much❤️
@amysmith anytime❤️❤️
i feel like i hate my friend and that i want to stop being friends with her. it feels like i desire it or get relief when i think about unfriending everyone. it makes me feel awful because this came out of nowhere and i have no reasoning for this because they’re all really nice to me. there’s not any red flags or anything. it feels like i want to send a message ending the friendships i have and i don’t know what to do.. everytime i talk to them now i get reminded of all of this and feel so guilty. i don’t even know if this is ocd or not because i haven’t even been diagnosed. idk what to do :( it hurts even more because when i think about if i would regret it, i don’t think i would..
kind of a longer post. putting a trigger warning just incase but nothing really insanely triggering is mentioned. currently trying to slowly pull away from a toxic friendship. i’ve been friends with someone for almost 4 years and since i met her i’ve felt like i have been living a lie. to make a long story short, i’ve been feeling sort of like a doormat being walked on in this friendship. it’s hard for me to speak up for myself and with someone like her whose super outspoken about her own opinions and interests etc it’s hard for me to speak up and not just agree and move on. this has boiled into me just not being myself at all. i know to those who don’t experience this it’ll sound ridiculous. like just be honest and be yourself but it’s just sadly way more complicated then that. she’s also caused me to have extreme stress and anxiety and even panic attacks because of her behaviors when there’s conflict. to the point where whenever i explain the full situation i get the same response from everyone which is “why are you still friends with her”. pulling away from this friendship isn’t gonna be easy and i don’t really no how to do it. when asking my mom she’s telling me to flat out block her everywhere and that her actions are inexcusable. my therapist asked me if i’m getting anything from this friendship and when i hesitated to think of anything she said “i think you know your answer”. my entire family and friends and therapist are encouraging me to leave her and never look back. but i am mortified not only because of my OCD but because i know what she does when faced with conflicts. i’m mortified thinking of everything i’ve ever said to her wether it was right or wrong or if i ever confessed to past compulsions, talking about traumas and stuff. thinking about if i’ve ever mentioned anything about anything which i know I haven’t like i would never forget it if i did but now i’m worried since i’m trying to no longer be friends with her. i’m having a lot of false memories pop into my head and it’s been making this process a whole lot harder. stressing about even posting this, plus worried about my thoughts and emotions making my OCD worse and making me fear this whole situation even more. does anyone have any suggestions on how to ease these anxieties??? or advice specifically on ending long term friendships???
I told my therapist I had intrusive about my bff and keeps asking me if I’m attracted to her and I’m say I am not he’s keep saying maybe u are .
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