Long distance

Hello, I am currently in an LDR because of a semester abroad. Since then I've become increasingly stressed about my relationship, have strong break up urges or feel like something doesn't "feel right". Constantly analysing my feelings when we talk on the phone or I see a picture of him. I always had these thoughts in past relationships as well. I am just afraid it's real and it means I have to break up. I am so depressed. Any tips how to overcome my urges?

Username: EmilyCruceEmilyCruce

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m sorry to hear that ROCD is beating you up right now. You are not alone, long distance can be a big trigger for people and difficult to navigate. But this can be a great opportunity to practice not engaging with the intrusive thoughts that come in. When you start to not feel right you can respond with “maybe things are off between us, maybe they are fine” and continue on with your day. It will be hard at first but it will make a difference in the long run. You got this!!

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi there! LDR relationships have their challenges! Constantly analyzing feelings is exhausting, I’m sorry you’re going through this. In ERP therapy we learn that analyzing and checking feelings is a compulsion of OCD. So the goal would be to not check or analyze and just sit with the “what if” feelings and not figure them out.

Username: elaidocarolelaidocarol

Date posted: 2y ago

I feel the same. Hope we recover this

Username: ROCDmenschROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y ago

How long do you have to stay and how long have you been together if I might as :)? I think we can do it. It's very very hard though. But I think actually working through it will help us in the long run

Username: elaidocarolelaidocarol

Date posted: 2y ago

My bf works around my country so sometimes he’s with me and sometimes out. We have a year relationship, and Im struggling with ROCD about 5 months. It’s hard because in my country this theme we dont have support. So my psiquiatric just told me that she never heard about it. Finally last week I had an appointment with my therapist that told me that I really have ROCD. But in many times I just think I dont have and Im in denial

Username: ROCDmenschROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y ago

Oh where are you from (don't need to answer)? I haven't been officially diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I have it because all the descriptions fit 100%. I have been in CB therapy for 1,5 years but I have been in a relationship for 8 months and during that time my OCD was kind of hidden because my partner got very sick and I just thought about him getting better. Now that he is the thoughts are back and I also have doubt that I am just in denial. It was hard to realise that I do a lot of compulsions that are not helpful (seeking reassurance all the time). It's very good if your therapist knows what you are struggling with. Then you have someone to support you on your journey. I haven't told my therapist about it, not about the obsessiveness. I am very nervous for my next appointment which we'll be online since I am still living abroad for one month.

Username: elaidocarolelaidocarol

Date posted: 2y ago

Brazil! My last therapist just did not believe in me and told me that it doesnt exists. Can you believe? So, my new therapist had ROCD, HOCD and stuff. She really understands me. I love my bf so much and it seems that Im always fighting with my brain to let me be happy

Username: ROCDmenschROCDmensch

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, it's not good if you have the feeling a mental health professional doesn't take it serious. For me I'm afraid my therapist will tell me to leave my boyfriend.

Username: elaidocarolelaidocarol

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, I have this feeling. My old therapist almost told me that. Why dont you search for OCD specialist?

Username: Pauline421

Date posted: 6y ago

Does anyone else with ROCD feel like the love may never come back? That you’ve been in this cycle for so long that your love just won’t ever be the same or the relationship is forever changed? I often look at my boyfriend and panic I’m in the wrong relationship because I can’t imagine us together in 50 years. We are in a VERY LDR (I’m talking opposite sides of the world) we were physically together for over a year before he went back, and I never questioned my love for him. Now I question it all the time and wonder if I’ll ever be capable of love, towards him or anyone else. I don’t even know who I am myself anymore and it’s a very vicious ocd cycle. Just when I feel better I’m not. What can I do? My anxiety is getting worse and I’m scared my brain will push me to leave when I don’t want to because he’s always been the person I’ve wanted.

Username: hopeful4healing

Date posted: 4y ago

Break up urges HELP PLEASE Sometimes I look at pictures of my boyfriend and I feel this pit in my stomach and anxiety and I think to myself “just break it off” and I feel relieved and then I freak out cause I must be lying to myself about loving him even though yesterday I as crying and heartbroken about him going abroad next year......if anyone else has experienced this please help!!!!

Relationship OCD

Username: BreaG

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD - help

I believe I (currently) am experiencing ROCD. Growing up as a child, I was always double checking the door was locked, wouldn’t walk on cracks, had to count to step. I eventually grew out of it. But I feel it has grown into ROCD. I currently have a year long relationship with a person I love and has treated me very well. I have plans to move in with him and I went job seeking at his house (we are long distance) last weekend. I had anxiety the entire time. I kept telling myself, I’m scared, what if this doesn’t work, what if this is telling me to break free of the relationship, what if I’m not attracted to him, and I was avoidant because I was so scared to feel the anxiety around/with him and question it all again. Once the anxiety would settle I would cry to him about it and tell him I’m just scared and everything is caving in. But is this normal in ROCD? I found myself googling everything the weeks leading up to me going. I once told him to give me space (he is very affectionate and I am not) and very selfless when it comes to calls/texts. PLUS - long distance adds to that. With everything, I started googling it all nonstop for days and feared we aren’t meant for each other. Now when he calls I feel anxious because I don’t want to feel that “trapped” feeling of not having space again and I googled how to find common and reasonable communication with long distance. UGH just everything is scaring me and I fear my obsessiveness over it is making it worse.

Relationship OCD

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