Please please need advice 😞

Today I woke up and told myself I wasn’t going to engage with the intrusive thoughts, I went downstairs and I was trying to avoid having intrusive thoughts about suffocating my cat with the pillow, but I kept feeling tempted to have the thoughts and thinking ‘maybe you do like the idea’ and I started worrying and thinking what if Through the thoughts I know how it feels to do that (because when your having the thoughts/ruminating it feels very real, almost like it’s already happened or I’ve lived through that) and now I’m desperate to do that or what if I’m secretly curious about how it feels to do that that’s why I can’t ignore the thoughts and keep feeling tempted to think about them. Or I was thinking what if through the thoughts I like the feeling of doing that but I have a conscious so now I have evil desires but I’m a good person so I don’t want to do it. I feel awful I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m believing this notion more and more everyday, I hate this and don’t know what to do

Username: BjurnBjurn

Date posted: 1y ago

Your own OCD is proof that you are not gonna do something to harm your pet. If you did ERP before, you could practice by grabbing a pillow while you go downstairs and make the thoughts race even harder. But make sure to do something in the meantime like eating breakfast and put the pillow back after you are done eating. The anxiety will decrease over time. By pushing away the thoughts your brain thinks you want to problem this and will keep repeating this thought. Handle the thought like you would do to neutral or positive thoughts. Nothing. The only side effect is anxiety. You will learn that it is okay to feel uncomfortable without doing something about it. The anxiety will decrease and you will wonder why you were bothered in the first place.

Username: Jak71Jak71

Date posted: 1y ago

@Bjurn Sorry hadn’t quite finished! So I write down my thoughts and fears. I can see more clearly in a way what is happening. Ocd focuses on our very worst fears and multiplies the anxiety to almost convincing yourself you are bad or whatever. Don’t believe it x

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

@Bjurn But I haven’t been diagnosed I have Been going through this for a year hoping it would just go but feels like it’s got worse

Username: BjurnBjurn

Date posted: 1y ago

Problem solve*

Username: Jak71Jak71

Date posted: 1y ago

I’ve had ham ocd for over forty years. It comes and goes and is just horrible. Do you keep a journal? I write down my thoughts sometimes like a diagram at the top I write down the thought/fear and then how I react. I try to follow my thought procedure as it happens. I was out with family members yesterday and could feel this fear creeping up ‘what if’ .

Username: Joey GerbinoJoey Gerbino

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD can and will present itself in the forms of both feelings and urges, as well as intrusive thoughts. Firstly, thought suppression never works and usually only has the opposite effect. Meaning, if you try and purposely not have harmful intrusive thoughts about your cat; chances are the exact opposite will inevitably happen. Instead of thought suppression; try and start allowing whatever thoughts may come to mind and sit with the discomfort of them. This will then train your brain to not automatically label your thoughts, etc. as a threat. From there, try and work on living with uncertainty. Nothing in life for anyone (with or without OCD) is 100% certain. However, the fact that you are bothered by the thoughts and/or feelings is a clear indication that you do not want nor desire to harm your cat. Sending love, compassion and support while suffering from the monster and battling the beast that is OCD 💌

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Really need advice I’m worried please harm ocd

I keep getting a shock feeling and shivers and feel intense over the thoughts but I’m still not convinced that I don’t like the thoughts and keep deliberately imagining the thoughts to see my reaction. I’ve been doing this since one time when I imagined the thought it felt like ‘I like the feeling of imagining doing that action’ like it felt as if when I imagining doing that horrible thing that I liked the feeling of squashing someone’s face with a pillow (the thoughts are about smothering) now I’m worried I like the feeling of suffocating someone and it’s just awful I don’t believe myself anymore I’ve been having so many crying episodes but I’m not convinced and keep bringing on the thoughts and now I’m genuinely believing that its possible I ‘like the feeling of doing that’ and I feel like I’m in hell, I don’t want to like the feeling of doing something horrible and I’m worried I get a good feeling from imagining doing that or that I would like the feeling of doing that and it’s driving me insane I’m so worried. Recently I keep getting a jittery feeling and anxious every time I have the thought but My head is convincing me that I’m some how ‘deliberately’ making myself anxious and I’m not actually anxious and I secretly like the thoughts and want to do that but for some reason I’m ‘pretending to be worried or anxious’ please can someone help I’ve been worrying for days I really don’t want to like the feeling of doing something horrible but I’m worried it’s true 😞😞 please help say if I’m getting some sick good feeling from imagining that and it’s really scary but I don’t know it it’s my fight or flight and I’m confused or whether because I’m imagining the thought in so much detail combined with the intense anxiety makes it feel like an ‘urge’ and then it’s somehow translated into ‘feels like I like the feeling’ I’m really worried I don’t know what to do please help

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Please reply, I want to have a normal day today

I woke up today feeling a bit more positive the last few days have been really rough, been crying, having outbursts of shouting and today I just feel exhausted and don’t want to think about it but at the same time I was ruminating on it so much and worrying a lot and it feels really difficult to just suddenly forget about it, I’ve been worrying because it feels like when I imagine the thought it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that, the thoughts are about smothering. It’s been feeling like the end of the world and I’ve been worrying because it feels like I actually want to act on the thoughts and it’s horrible, feel like I don’t trust myself. Today I feel exhausted and just want to feel normal again but feel like I can’t just go back to forgetting about it and feeling normal since the last few days have felt so rough and real like it couldn’t have all been for nothing, all that worrying? Surely it must mean something? And it feels like I could easily just start worrying again, I’ve got a bit of anxiety and feel uneasy already, but I don’t want another day of misery. But it feels like these thoughts definitely mean something and it feels like if I choose not to think about it because I’m still kind of believing it that I’m just trying to pretend I’m not evil by forgetting about it or postponing being evil 😞😞

Username: accordinglytome

Date posted: 44w ago

How do you know you won’t act on your thoughts?

Okay so, I feel like I’m going to become a monster, I feel like I want to do my intrusive thoughts. But in my heart I know it’s wrong. I cry and cry because I’m scared I will listen to my thoughts. I have been praying every single day. I want to be a good person. I tell myself do good, and do not do evil. My intrusive thoughts are about hurting people, especially my siblings. It’s makes me cry. But I’m scared I will act on them. I want to be locked up so I don’t do anything. I’m 21 years old now, I still live with my parents. And I want to tell them so they know, and so I can get help, I just don’t know how to tell them, and I don’t want to scare them. I don’t want them to think I’m a monster. I don’t think I can do this anymore. Every time I see something horrible, my brain thinks I should do it. Please give me advise, what do I do

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Please please need advice 😞

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