mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y
False attraction?
Before hocd I didn't once care for men bodies, but during hocd it felt like I started to enjoy it. I don't like this.
NeverGiveUpNeverGiveUp
- Date posted
- 2y
I'm the same I wouldn't say enjoy it but men definitely appear more attractive than women and no offence to anyone gay that's just not my way of swinging. My whole life I had crushes on so many girls in school growing up and even have had multiple girlfriends. Hocd makes me feel as if I'm not the same person anymore. I really do hope after this my attractions come back and I feel like myself again because it's becoming extremely difficult to be happy.
Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y
@NeverGiveUp That loss of attraction feeling can be one of the hardest parts. I totally get that. For me it was probably one of the most devastating parts. If I’m gonna be honest, I still to this day I don’t feel like I’ve fully recovered my attraction. However, I think part of that is some thing I need to go to therapy again for and figure out what’s really going on and other variables that might be contributing to it. Doctor Michael Greenberg has a lot of good information on that. Also, one thing I would say to try out is to start heavily limiting your porn intake and see if you notice a difference like give it up for two weeks and see how you feel. May need to give it up longer but regardless, that might be a contributor. Sometimes when I give it up for a long time, I notice a resurgence of my attraction. I definitely think there is something to the idea that we get so desensitized to it that we start to feel “asexual”. To clarify, I am not a psychologist of any kind. This is just my opinion. I hope this helps however, please please please go to therapy. That will be really the only thing that can help you the most. maybe even look into psychedelic therapy. That also could be very helpful for people with OCD as a lot of research is coming out about it. But do not try psychedelics on your own. That is a recipe for disaster.
Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y
@NeverGiveUp LMAO, thank you for listening to my Ted talk 🤣
mrein280mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y
I don't enjoy it but it just feels like I do or want it. I used to really enjoy women's looks and just really wanted to be with one.
Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y
@mrein280 I know it’s strange isn’t it?
Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y
@mrein280 I think another way of looking at this is to think of this whole experience as a journey instead of something that needs to be fixed overnight. Journeys are often hard, very difficult, and painful. However, once you’re out from the other side of this, whether that’s one year from now or ten years from now, you are going to feel better than you did before you started this journey and will have new perspective. And, I believe acceptance of the thoughts is the key to make this journey a more successful one. Speaking as someone who felt like I need to kill him in order to happy ever again while I was in the thick of it, you will appreciate what you learn from this and the life you live so much more.
Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y
So the very same thing happened to me with POCD. I said the exact same thing “it’s not the thoughts anymore, It’s the feelings”. For OCD specifically, fear can make us feel strange things. Also, some thing I’ve learned over the course of all of this we, OCD people, can often confuse fear with attraction. And my friend, please do yourself a favor, and stop trying to logic your way through it. Your feelings aren’t to be trusted. With that said the only way out is through. You need to find a OCD therapist Who will do ERP with you. ERP is really the only way out. It’s also the only way to feel comfortable again. Your fears and anxiety will probably tell you it will “make me gay.” But that’s crap. Believe me as somebody who was terrified that they were attracted to kids. I know the pain and discomfort quite well. ultimately I had to except that “maybe I am a p*****, ok whatever” and then set with all the anxiety that that brought and not try to push away. And eventually, my brain just realized that this is all bullshit. That’s not to say that I don’t still have it in the back of my mind some days, but it has zero input on my life anymore. You need to think of anxiety, induced by OCD, as going to the gym for your brain. When you go to the gym it hurts but after you’re done, you feel better than you did and you are stronger; Which is where ERP comes in and teaches you how to train to become stronger. Find an OCD therapist, who will do exposure response prevention therapy. You must do this!!! It’s the only way. And if I can do it, I know you can we too!
ada110ada110
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
Great advice and so pleased to hear you're doing better.
TnotesTommyTnotesTommy
- Date posted
- 2y
it’s ok. start to meditate , pray , think positive in am. every gets thoughts. keep fighting.
mrein280mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y
It's not thoughts it's more of a feeling
Related posts
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 21w
About hocd
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 8w
HOCD can anyone relate?
Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help
Givenup
- Date posted
- 8w
Im genuinely triggered...
When trying to find explicit anime stuff i enjoy, i keep stumbling across POCD related content I find disgusting and disturbing... but then i get this urge to click on it... when i do, im immediately disgusted and quickly exit out because I hate that content... it happened a couple of times tonight... i hate it so much... i feel like a bad person because of this... My POCD is labeling this as an unconscious attraction... chatGPT is saying this is morbid curiosity... i dont want to be attracted to men or kids... i dont want to be attracted or even curious about it... i just hope its not subconscious attraction, let alone any form of conscious attraction at all... im genuinely disgusted...
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