- Date posted
- 2y ago
False attraction?
Before hocd I didn't once care for men bodies, but during hocd it felt like I started to enjoy it. I don't like this.
Before hocd I didn't once care for men bodies, but during hocd it felt like I started to enjoy it. I don't like this.
I'm the same I wouldn't say enjoy it but men definitely appear more attractive than women and no offence to anyone gay that's just not my way of swinging. My whole life I had crushes on so many girls in school growing up and even have had multiple girlfriends. Hocd makes me feel as if I'm not the same person anymore. I really do hope after this my attractions come back and I feel like myself again because it's becoming extremely difficult to be happy.
@NeverGiveUp That loss of attraction feeling can be one of the hardest parts. I totally get that. For me it was probably one of the most devastating parts. If I’m gonna be honest, I still to this day I don’t feel like I’ve fully recovered my attraction. However, I think part of that is some thing I need to go to therapy again for and figure out what’s really going on and other variables that might be contributing to it. Doctor Michael Greenberg has a lot of good information on that. Also, one thing I would say to try out is to start heavily limiting your porn intake and see if you notice a difference like give it up for two weeks and see how you feel. May need to give it up longer but regardless, that might be a contributor. Sometimes when I give it up for a long time, I notice a resurgence of my attraction. I definitely think there is something to the idea that we get so desensitized to it that we start to feel “asexual”. To clarify, I am not a psychologist of any kind. This is just my opinion. I hope this helps however, please please please go to therapy. That will be really the only thing that can help you the most. maybe even look into psychedelic therapy. That also could be very helpful for people with OCD as a lot of research is coming out about it. But do not try psychedelics on your own. That is a recipe for disaster.
@NeverGiveUp LMAO, thank you for listening to my Ted talk 🤣
I don't enjoy it but it just feels like I do or want it. I used to really enjoy women's looks and just really wanted to be with one.
@mrein280 I know it’s strange isn’t it?
@mrein280 I think another way of looking at this is to think of this whole experience as a journey instead of something that needs to be fixed overnight. Journeys are often hard, very difficult, and painful. However, once you’re out from the other side of this, whether that’s one year from now or ten years from now, you are going to feel better than you did before you started this journey and will have new perspective. And, I believe acceptance of the thoughts is the key to make this journey a more successful one. Speaking as someone who felt like I need to kill him in order to happy ever again while I was in the thick of it, you will appreciate what you learn from this and the life you live so much more.
So the very same thing happened to me with POCD. I said the exact same thing “it’s not the thoughts anymore, It’s the feelings”. For OCD specifically, fear can make us feel strange things. Also, some thing I’ve learned over the course of all of this we, OCD people, can often confuse fear with attraction. And my friend, please do yourself a favor, and stop trying to logic your way through it. Your feelings aren’t to be trusted. With that said the only way out is through. You need to find a OCD therapist Who will do ERP with you. ERP is really the only way out. It’s also the only way to feel comfortable again. Your fears and anxiety will probably tell you it will “make me gay.” But that’s crap. Believe me as somebody who was terrified that they were attracted to kids. I know the pain and discomfort quite well. ultimately I had to except that “maybe I am a p*****, ok whatever” and then set with all the anxiety that that brought and not try to push away. And eventually, my brain just realized that this is all bullshit. That’s not to say that I don’t still have it in the back of my mind some days, but it has zero input on my life anymore. You need to think of anxiety, induced by OCD, as going to the gym for your brain. When you go to the gym it hurts but after you’re done, you feel better than you did and you are stronger; Which is where ERP comes in and teaches you how to train to become stronger. Find an OCD therapist, who will do exposure response prevention therapy. You must do this!!! It’s the only way. And if I can do it, I know you can we too!
Great advice and so pleased to hear you're doing better.
it’s ok. start to meditate , pray , think positive in am. every gets thoughts. keep fighting.
It's not thoughts it's more of a feeling
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
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