- Username
- mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Concern about newfound attraction to men during hocd feelings.
False attraction?
Before hocd I didn't once care for men bodies, but during hocd it felt like I started to enjoy it. I don't like this.
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- Username
- Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y ago
So the very same thing happened to me with POCD. I said the exact same thing “it’s not the thoughts anymore, It’s the feelings”. For OCD specifically, fear can make us feel strange things. Also, some thing I’ve learned over the course of all of this we, OCD people, can often confuse fear with attraction. And my friend, please do yourself a favor, and stop trying to logic your way through it. Your feelings aren’t to be trusted. With that said the only way out is through. You need to find a OCD therapist Who will do ERP with you. ERP is really the only way out. It’s also the only way to feel comfortable again. Your fears and anxiety will probably tell you it will “make me gay.” But that’s crap. Believe me as somebody who was terrified that they were attracted to kids. I know the pain and discomfort quite well. ultimately I had to except that “maybe I am a p*****, ok whatever” and then set with all the anxiety that that brought and not try to push away. And eventually, my brain just realized that this is all bullshit. That’s not to say that I don’t still have it in the back of my mind some days, but it has zero input on my life anymore. You need to think of anxiety, induced by OCD, as going to the gym for your brain. When you go to the gym it hurts but after you’re done, you feel better than you did and you are stronger; Which is where ERP comes in and teaches you how to train to become stronger. Find an OCD therapist, who will do exposure response prevention therapy. You must do this!!! It’s the only way. And if I can do it, I know you can we too!
- Username
- ada110ada110
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Great advice and so pleased to hear you're doing better.
- Username
- NeverGiveUpNeverGiveUp
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I'm the same I wouldn't say enjoy it but men definitely appear more attractive than women and no offence to anyone gay that's just not my way of swinging. My whole life I had crushes on so many girls in school growing up and even have had multiple girlfriends. Hocd makes me feel as if I'm not the same person anymore. I really do hope after this my attractions come back and I feel like myself again because it's becoming extremely difficult to be happy.
- Username
- Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@NeverGiveUp That loss of attraction feeling can be one of the hardest parts. I totally get that. For me it was probably one of the most devastating parts. If I’m gonna be honest, I still to this day I don’t feel like I’ve fully recovered my attraction. However, I think part of that is some thing I need to go to therapy again for and figure out what’s really going on and other variables that might be contributing to it. Doctor Michael Greenberg has a lot of good information on that. Also, one thing I would say to try out is to start heavily limiting your porn intake and see if you notice a difference like give it up for two weeks and see how you feel. May need to give it up longer but regardless, that might be a contributor. Sometimes when I give it up for a long time, I notice a resurgence of my attraction. I definitely think there is something to the idea that we get so desensitized to it that we start to feel “asexual”. To clarify, I am not a psychologist of any kind. This is just my opinion. I hope this helps however, please please please go to therapy. That will be really the only thing that can help you the most. maybe even look into psychedelic therapy. That also could be very helpful for people with OCD as a lot of research is coming out about it. But do not try psychedelics on your own. That is a recipe for disaster.
- Username
- Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@NeverGiveUp LMAO, thank you for listening to my Ted talk 🤣
- Username
- mrein280mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I don't enjoy it but it just feels like I do or want it. I used to really enjoy women's looks and just really wanted to be with one.
- Username
- Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@mrein280 I know it’s strange isn’t it?
- Username
- Hmac Hmac
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@mrein280 I think another way of looking at this is to think of this whole experience as a journey instead of something that needs to be fixed overnight. Journeys are often hard, very difficult, and painful. However, once you’re out from the other side of this, whether that’s one year from now or ten years from now, you are going to feel better than you did before you started this journey and will have new perspective. And, I believe acceptance of the thoughts is the key to make this journey a more successful one. Speaking as someone who felt like I need to kill him in order to happy ever again while I was in the thick of it, you will appreciate what you learn from this and the life you live so much more.
- Username
- TnotesTommyTnotesTommy
- Date posted
- 2y ago
it’s ok. start to meditate , pray , think positive in am. every gets thoughts. keep fighting.
- Username
- mrein280mrein280
- Date posted
- 2y ago
It's not thoughts it's more of a feeling
Related posts
- Username
- SarahLynn
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Anyone here with hocd that used to watch lesbian porn? I used to and now it totally freaks me out thinking that I want them. But I don’t. I haven’t watched porn in months, since this all started! I just tried watching male masturbation porn and it didn’t really turn me on...now all I can think is that female porn would... before it was never an issue, I never thought twice about it, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Just wanna know if anyone is in the same boat? Is it possible to be turned on sexually but not wanna be with someone, at all, at the same time?
- Username
- kaysf
- Date posted
- 4y ago
i always used to want a bf soo bad and i would get so jealous and kinda sad when i saw guys being cute with their girlfriends and now i don’t even care. like i’m not interested in anyone. and it scares me bc i didn’t lose my attraction bc i still see guys and i’m like omg he’s so cute and stuff but then i ask myself if i would date him and i can’t see myself dating him. and it makes me think i don’t actually like boys. and the guy i had liked for yearssss and wanted to be close with so bad, i don’t have feelings for him anymore. anyone else with hocd have this? you still have the physical attraction but you don’t want a relationship. it’s freaking me out
- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 1y ago
False attraction for women with so-ocd
Hello all. I am a woman who struggles with what i assume to be hocd and have struggled with it for 3 years now. I have had false attraction on and off and have been able to let them go because i realized the anxiety behind them. Now however, i have a fear that i am secretly attracted to people of the same sex who are masculine presenting or one day i am going to feel attracted to and actuallydevelop feelings for one. Are there women that feel this way ?? Thank you advance.
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