Hi

Im in a relationship for 4 years, but i had been in contact with my ex a few times. WORSE DECISION, after confessing i developed ocd. Different themes, i literally quit my previous job because i believed that i was going to fall in love with just anyone from there, female, male, kid etc. It was very difficult, but that theme is not loud anymore. I noticed how my ocd attached to the mistakes i made, and now is torturing me by reminding me every day with hard evidence i dont love my partner, or love songs remind me of my ex. Almost as if i see him everywhere, there are days that my bf says something and my mind tells me oh it sounds like your ex, or if i see my ex in him, its so weird, next year we planned a trip, same country/neighborhood where i met my ex, i feel like going back to where i met him might trigger my anxiety. How do i get rid of these ex thoughts, i dont want to be with my ex. I just want to erase these thoughts and everything is annoying me

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

im so glad im not alone in this , i have had this theme for a week alr & its so stressful, trust that it will pass bc its getting better now , i told my bf i had these thoughts & it hurt him but he says that it doesn't phase him just hurts hearing these things, dont let ocd win , we got this

Username: Anonimo05Anonimo05

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Definitely not alone. I thought i was alone, and look obv not happy you are experiencing this but glad we can chat and see other people are going through it as well❤️

Username: renabearrenabear

Date posted: 2y ago

Awe yes thankyou I understand ! Yes this society doesn’t feel like a very forgiving one unfortunately . But yes ! My past mistakes definitely prevent me just from having any type of positive feeling . It’s like I feel I do not deserve any kind of happiness because of my past mistakes and yes ! I feel I’m always considering breaking up with my boyfriend because of my past decisions or because I’m afraid I’ve made the same mistake and just don’t know it and so I will literally spend days ruminating about a moment over and over to determine whether or not I made a mistake and have to confess to my boyfriend or not ! But my relationship ocd didn’t develop til I confessed to my boyfriend about my mistakes as well .

Username: k$$k$$

Date posted: 2y ago

rocd loves to latch onto ex’s i swear i understand what your going through

Username: Anonimo05Anonimo05

Date posted: 2y ago

@k$$ Really? I didn’t know that. I feel so sad, because it affects my relationship, the constant thoughts of what if u like your ex, what if you dont love your partner bc you want ur ex better, or unwanted comparisons between my bf and ex. It’s so difficult to be present when my mind is torturing me and im just trying to move on from the past and be happy.

Username: sendgyoza sendgyoza

Date posted: 2y ago

@k$$ I am experiencing the same, how did u cope up with the situation?

Username: renabearrenabear

Date posted: 2y ago

I understand your thoughts and I have been struggling with similar ones . I’ve also made mistakes in my current relationship and now I’m terrified of making more . I feel my mind constantly wonders if I’m like flirting with anyone without realizing it or if I have alternative intentions whenever talking to anyone especially people who just appear to be attractive to me . It’s very distressing . This specifically happens to me 24/7 at work . I know mine isn’t latching on a specific person but I understand to a certain extent what you mean , it’s very distressing to deal with stuff like this all the time I’m sorry you’re struggling as well .

Username: Anonimo05Anonimo05

Date posted: 2y ago

@renabear Sad to hear you are going through this as well, but now you know you are not alone. Specially because we live in a world where society tells us that we are perfect humans and we cant make bad decisions. I totally understand, do you get scary thoughts like the past will not let u be happy or that it will pop up all the time in the future?

Username: Anonimo05Anonimo05

Date posted: 2y ago

@renabear Do you ever feel like you have to break up bc of it? For example i know ocd will convince you of anything, and with rocd it has convinced me that i dont love my partner even though i know i do but its like my ocd has evidence that i dont so its much worse since i actually acted as a bad/immature/lost person and made those decisions.

Username: ChrisWu

Date posted: 4y ago

Hello everyone, so I'm slowly starting to get better in regards to dating. My ex and me broke up cause I just ran away and he had issues too, but he loves me and I love him so we are currently fwb. The issue I'm having is that ever since we dated or I'm trying to get close again; my brain brings up my old ex a lot or another ex. I was wondering if anyone has ever had their OCD use thoughts like mentioning the old ex's name or something against them?

Username: idontknowmyname

Date posted: 2y ago

Help me please.

I don't like these intrusive images and thoughts of my ex. I just want to be happy with my boyfriend. I wanna scream. I want these thoughts to stop. I really just want to be happy with my boyfriend but these stupid intrusive thoughts are pulling me down. And you might be wondering if I had what-if thoughts with other guys, yes. That's why I'm aware it's obsessive intrusive thoughts. This time, it latched on to my ex. My brain is making me think that I love him. I never had intrusive thoughts about him months before when I started suffering from rOCD. It's so scary because the thoughts feel so real. Any advice would be nice. I'm undergoing psychotherapy and meds (fluoxetine 20mg and olanzapine 5mg combo)

Relationship OCD

Username: Isabella G.

Date posted: 1y ago

My OCD story and my plea for help….

So, this long story will have to be cut down a bit but here’s my story and my plea for some guidance… My childhood was not that great. Although I am grateful to have had a better childhood than others who are way less fortunate. My dad was an alcoholic and suicidal, my mom was toxic and vengeful. This lasted up until I would say my 10th birthday. I was also molested by a family member that to this day no one believes that it happened and would rather me keep this info to myself. I searched for attention from the wrong people. Being bullied, I decided it’s best to be the bullier. So, I started getting in trouble at school, home, with the cops. Everything. Me and my mom started to develop a resentful relationship. I met people online who were older than my age at the time, who had zero business talking to me. They manipulated me and made me feel horrible. I got caught and went ten months without a phone. This time was peaceful. I then went into my sophomore year of high school and entered a relationship I was not comfortable in. At this point, I was healing from previous trauma and was not looking for a relationship to be in. But, I did it anyway because I was afraid to be alone. This relationship was the worst relationship….and I mean the WORST relationship I was in. It was narcissistic and abusive. It broke off abruptly with no closure, no explanation, and leaving me empty and suicidal. I dated during this time and made it clear that I was not ready for a relationship yet. I decided to take a break from dating because although I do not have feelings for my ex, I was now experiencing anxiety and PTSD from what happened. I fell into a deep depression that I did not know when I will be getting out of. I met my boyfriend while continuing to heal about a month after. It was an instant connection and of course I questioned it but I didn’t think much of it. I caught feelings for him pretty quickly which is something that is rare for me. We had insanely similar personalities. It has been the best relationship I have been in. I could even go as far as to say this will be my future husband. We are also long distance and will be closing that distance soon. Something inside me though… keeps bringing up my ex. Small thoughts, small feelings, and knowing I don’t love him. Now, I sit here. I am questioning my love for my partner, asking myself what is so special about my ex that he occupies my mind but weirdly not my heart… It hurts. I just want these thoughts to stop. I have become suicidal before, I am scared to become this again. Why do I feel like I love him when I never loved him while we were together? I know my brain is tricking me, because I know I love my partner. But I am scared I still care for someone who abused me. I am scared I now love two people at the same time. I am scared that the one that I am with isn’t the one for me and this happiness means I am faking it. Is it all an illusion? Why can’t he just go away?

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