Overwhelm in thoughts

I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/

I feel so numb. I’m having awful intrusive thoughts TERRIBLE and I don’t care. I’m even replying to them in a way that concerns me honestly, it doesn’t feel like intentional sarcasm. It feels like I genuinely don’t have morals right now and even saying that, barely care. I’m so irritated by everything. I feel anger and just closed off. I’m so tired, I just want to zone out. I feel so UGH.

does anyone else struggle with this? is it actually OCD or am I just tripping??? It’s like my mind tries to get the best of me, it tries to tell me I want something different from what I actually want or think a way that doesn’t really align with me, my values or even lifestyle? Just me??