I’m convinced that I want to act on my thoughts, is this normal for harm ocd? I worry that maybe it’s not ocd and maybe I want these things to happen. I just feel like I’m the one exception where it’s not ocd and I like these thoughts. Anyone?
Hey that's tough and I'm sorry you're going through this. But think about it this way, if you really wanted to do something you wouldn't be worrying over it you would have already done it right? I know this feels very real and it's hard but you're strong and it's going to be okay! Acknowledge these feelings, remind yourself that it's okay to feel this way. And yes it's normal and a lot of people with ocd feel the exact same way you do. You're not alone!
I’ve felt the same. I started to think I did want to do these things. And it made me severely depressed where I couldn’t even get up out of bed. I didn’t want to eat or drink. I was sure that that’s who I was. I moved past that one day. It does pop up once in a while. But I’m currently obsessing over something else. But your not alone in feeling like you might actually want to do those things.
@stranger how did you move past it? Just time?
@Anonymous For me it was just a lot of time. But things that helped me was this almost meditation talk. It said to not give every thought attention. Imagine your thoughts as leaves floating down a stream of water. Some might get stuck on something. And that’s okay. But you don’t need to worry. Just wait for it to get released. Even if they make you question yourself. Allow that question to be there. And move on. It did take me a long and hard time. But if I can do it. Then you can too if you just keep going.
I am with you and until I started therapy and started reading comments on here, I thought I was the only one. Starting to discover it is super common.
Currently in the same boat. It’s so distressing.
@Space1234 So damn hard, especially because I don’t get anxiety from the thoughts or urges
@Anonymous I am waking up extremely anxious because of it and will be anxious all day. This is really one of the hardest thing I have ever been through.
@Space1234 I wish I got anxiety from my thoughts, it would make me feel more normal. I feel like because I don’t have anxiety towards my violent thoughts means that I would be ok acting on them and that I want to act on them
@Anonymous I go through cycles of no anxiety, right now I am in an anxiety spiral.
@Anonymous In a way it is sorta having anxiety. You’re worried. And that’s typically what anxiety is. I have days where I’m extremely anxious all day and others when I’m not but then I’ll be anxious about not being anxious. Im learning to just not pay attention to what I’m feeling. Go about your day whether your anxious or not. Much easier said than done. But you can at least say you’re doing your best.
My brain says "well if you didn't want to do it, it wouldn't be playing on repeat, so you must want to do it, right?" If I say yes or no, I spiral. If I say maybe, things get better. But I often can't pause and remember to say maybe.
I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice
Harm ocd urges Does anyone else have such strong harm ocd urges regarding your obsession that it literally feels like you’re holding back from doing it? I understand that harm ocd does indeed include urges, but can they rlly feel THAT real? Like at any time I could just “decide” to do it?
Can harm ocd thoughts appear like “i want” or “im going to” someone please lmk if they experienced this 😣
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