hi everyone. can ocd rewires the brain? like it’s been months my thoughts are telling me im gay and even when i don’t have intrusive thoughts i still believe that, like it has become used to it and this is who i am. will i ever feel like myself again? what to do?
OCD can’t do that. You are born gay or straight. You might be having sabotaging thoughts or self doubting thoughts. OCD may be trying to damage your life by putting these thoughts in your mind, and it’s very convincing. Don’t give it fuel by fighting and struggling. You can make yourself better by thinking something like: “Maybe I’m gay, maybe I’m not.” Stay uncomfortable for a while with that. Maybe the discomfort will go away in 10 seconds, maybe 1 hour. You don’t know. When it fizzles out on its own without you fighting it, you will learn that these are just thoughts, and thoughts are just thoughts and you should choose to gently disengage from them without struggling. That is how you will become free once you become accustom to being able to let go without a fight
@Anonymous thank you very much for answering. i see what you mean, by rewire i meant it makes me think i have always felt gay because it makes me feel gay even when i don’t have thoughts, like it’s my state of mind
@ObiWanA when i think about my boyfriend or im with him it’s like something is always in the back of my mind making me feel like im gay, like intrusive feelings
@ObiWanA Those are self doubting OCD thoughts. Sit with the thought to be uncomfortable for a while without struggling. Then choose to disengage without struggling and worrying about it. Remove the struggle, fight, and guilt. Choose to move on to something better so you can get back to your own life rather than the life of turmoil that OCD is trying to give you. You when when you remove the fight and gently make your own choices
@Anonymous thank very much. i will try to do that and hope it will get better!
@m.r.s16 Those are just self sabotaging thoughts that OCD is giving you to ruin your life. You said the attractions are false, so they are actually OCD self sabotage. Sit with the thoughts. Be uncomfortable for a while. Tell yourself that maybe you will feel better, maybe you won’t. After a while, the discomfort will lessen and you can freely and without struggle realize that they were just thoughts and you can choose to move on to something better. The more you stop struggling and gently disengage from those thoughts, the less OCD your mind will become and you will transform into a mentally healthy person
@ObiWanA You can write back if you want after you spent some time in this
@Anonymous i really trying even though it feels like accepting. but i’ve heard having less anxiety means recovery
@Anonymous thank you, i will!
I think you mean that OCD convence you you are gay cause it repeat it so many times in your head, so now you feel like it even without the thoughs
@Perzibal that is exactly what i mean! thank you for understanding
@polishgirl it’s really hard, i don’t know what we can do about that
@polishgirl do you have anxiety about it or it’s gone like if you have accepted it?
@polishgirl same, at first at terrible anxiety and now i don’t, it’s scary because you feel like it’s who you are and you have accepted it but i heard it can be that we are healing
@polishgirl i understand so much…
I've been feeling the same way. I feel like ocd does rewire your brain, but with therapy you can rewire it the way you want to. It doesn't change your sexuality either way.
@Meg Johnson thank you! i feel less alone. can erp help with that, i feel it’s harder because it’s not a thought but a feeling
@ObiWanA ERP proves your OCD wrong and weakens it to the point that it fades away
@Anonymous thank you!!
Idk much about erp and I'm kind of hesitant to the whole thing, but that's just me personally. I'm sure it can work though.
@Meg Johnson i try erp by myself but that’s it, may i ask what you do to help you?
It does work. I've been fighting soocd specifically for almost 2 yeats now. Still a daily problem but not even near to the point it was when I started having the thoughts. At first I couldnt get out of bed, was disgusted with how I felt and my thoughts and was scared to even see a person in public. Now I can handle it, day by day it gets better and I'm more and more in control. That's all from my therapist, thats from the erp, and thats from the will power we all have to over come and control our disorder. You can do it too, you can do it alone, but it's 100% easier if you get a therapist that understands your condition. My therapist that I have here on NOCD has OCD as well so she knows exactly how I feel. She has gotten so good at fighting it it only comes up on occasion and she's able to entirely ignore it. You'll always deal with it, that's the curse we have, but you'll be in control, not your thoughts.
@Brad2517 thank you for the hope!! im glad you are feeling better and i hope i okay be okay too, i don’t have a therapist but i do erp by myself and im really trying
@ObiWanA Sign up for a therapist here. It’s not difficult and it’s very effective
@Anonymous i don’t think like i can right now but i’ll think about it
Therapy right now. Mostly just talking (it doesn't help), I'm waiting to get a psychiatrist
@Meg Johnson i hope it will help you better!!
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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