Question for a therapist

So I’ve been getting treatment for about 3 months now and it’s been slowly starting to work I think and days are slowly getting easier. There are still plenty of bad days and days where I just feel completely defeated but I’m gradually learning how to deal with these emotions. Part of me is really relieved and excited as OCD was absolutely awful and the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It held me back from so many things and I felt so trapped and I never imagined I’d be in so much agonising discomfort everyday. However part of me is also really uneasy as OCD is what I’ve known for so many years and I don’t know life without it. It’s almost unsettling integrating back into the ‘normal’ way of life as part of me doesn’t know where to start and I feel like I lack foundation if that makes sense as I have been unable to do so much for so long. I’m also finishing school soon which makes things even harder as I don’t know what comes next, or who or what I’ll become and do with my life. I guess my question is, is life beyond OCD worth it and is it worth climbing out of this hell hole? I also know that I’ll probably always have OCD and there may always be bad days but it’s just becoming less disabling and time consuming which is so exciting but sort of terrifying at the same time. I also am worried that I’ll live a boring and miserable life because at least dealing with OCD left me with something and made life more interesting, much more painful but It almost became my identity. But I guess there has to be something more beyond this life I’m living. Sorry this is long.

Hi y’all I guess I am asking for reassurance, but I’m just wondering if anyone on here has recovered from pure ocd to the point where they feel it doesn’t have any control over their life and identity anymore? Right now I feel like I will never live my dream of being a good person and having a husband and family and being a child and family therapist. My most present theme is pocd and I feel like it’s wrong for me to ever be in a relationship or even make new friends bc of the things I have thought and the tricks ocd has played on me to make me “feel” things. I have a hard time taking care of myself most days because I feel like I don’t deserve it, let alone my dream. I don’t know how I will ever allow myself to feel self trust and confidence again, this is literally my worst nightmare and the only thing that brings me comfort is suicidal ideation. I feel like maybe I accidentally did something wrong along the erp path by trying not to be distressed, like I taught myself to think wrong or something. Has anyone been here and gotten back to who they were before?

I kind of feel fake…if anyone has been through this phase also can you explain this to me the feeling of fake ? What does recovery looks like? Do we find our answers on the process? Do we start to feel love again? Do we start to feel more confident in ourselves and our relationship? What is it like? Do I have to keep on living like this my whole life in order to not catch ocd again in life later IF I RECOVER?