Soo twitches sorry really triggered me!!! Now I just keep trying to avoid any post about him, idk if that’s the best thing though, maybe that’s what’s making it worse? I know I just have to accept the thoughts but it’s soo scary
I keep reading every article also .
I’ve struggled massively with this. This is my theme and has been for around 10 years. Currently having a relapse that started in October but since the Twitch story I’ve feel like I’ve gone back further and further down the ocd rabbit hole. It the videos of him with his family and wife that got me. As I have 2 little boys and I always think it’s just not something people with a loving family do. So in my head I’ve felt a level of protection as I use that a reassurance. I always tell myself the love for my boys and family means I will never do it. I feel anxious and sick to my stomach. Constantly on the verge of tears and the thoughts are coming thick and fast. Feel like my brain is constantly telling me that I have accepted that this is my fate and I just want to shout no no no no!!
I talk with my therapist about this , and for exposure I had to read the articles about his suicide , was hard but I did it. Are brain is a liar . Stay strong!!
I swear sometimes I just forget everything I learned in erp sometimes
I been feeling the same 😔 every time I see an article about twitches , ocd is really scary
@Anonymous Yeah same, I was doing soo good too but that just really triggered me
I was felling good until I saw that on fb 😔😔
@Anonymous Me too
It is so triggering for me as well and this isn’t even my current theme. However ever since the news came out i find myself keep reading and keep reading even though i don’t really want to know. All the comments I’ve been reading are about how people can hide it very well considering he was so happy. This one comment i read said something like “it’s always the happiest people that are depressed”. And now my brain is going a million miles a minute. Like i consider myself to be a happy person. I don’t consider myself depressed. So you’re telling that when I’m happy i could be secretly hiding the fact that I’m not happy. It’s so triggering 😔
@Anon17 I know this has been me lately
@Anon17 i totally relate to this
I'm even scare when I get sad , because my brain tells me I'm depressed , and the suicidal thoughts appear
@Anonymous That’s what I’m going thru, but I just keep trying to sit with the uncertainty but I also keep doing mental compulsions, like comparing myself to him, we have to resist those compulsions
@Anonymous I also compare myself with him o anyone who committed suicide, I send a big hug . Stay strong
I get major suicidal thoughts when I think my OCD thoughts are real. I don't know how to cope with the fear of knowing that they are because I really don't think I could live with myself if they were true
When people tell me to accept it, do they mean accept the thought or accept that you have these thoughts. Because I have Suicidal OCD and I get these thoughts and just can’t accept that I could do something like that
Does anyone else get triggered by some of the things people say about accepting and recovering. Idk Like sometimes I feel like my thoughts are so awful how could i ever come to accept that and let it roam free in my brain. I think that makes my fear worse especially when it comes to magical thinking :(
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
