I do really feel like personifying my OCD really helped relieve a lot of the anxiety. That and finding a community of people who are having similar thoughts! Being able to take a step back and name a thought as OCD helped me so much. The anxiety is there as MUCH as it was along with the thoughts but knowing that they’re not MY thoughts helped me with direction on where to go from there. I can now get a thought and tell myself it’s ocd because I know it is even when I’m doubting it. I can say to myself even when I’m doubting the ocd that it’s called the doubting disorder for a reason and feel better. I grew up always feeling ~different~ because of my thoughts but never knew they were ocd related and knowing that felt like putting the last piece of a 600 piece puzzle in its place. It helped me put a name to my problems and be like “wow, that explains sooo much” like honestly a weight has been lifted. For that reason,I know I can get through this gross and horrifying disorder.

Hi everyone, my name is Kendal and I am new here, although I do not believe I am new to OCD in the SLIGHTEST. Im about to leave my 20s behind and begin a new chapter of my life. Everyone says your 30s are suppose to be the best right? I am proud of myself for making a huge step forward, before the beginning of this new chapter. I’ve been experiencing symptoms of OCD for as long as I can remember. These feelings, thoughts, compulsions have been existing with me since middle school. They’ve manifested in many many different ways throughout the years, and continue to evolve as I get older. I’ve experienced emetophobia, obsessive thoughts about passing out or getting sick in front of people, contamination OCD, white coat syndrome and the newest culprit… Harm OCD. In middle school, it was extremely hard to understand WHY I felt the way I felt, and experienced the intense anxieties that I did. Over the years I kind of just put up with these thoughts and feelings of uneasiness.. and thought it was just regular ol’ anxiety. Recently the harm OCD came through, triggered by a traumatic event. Lemme tell ya… if you’ve ever experienced harm OCD… I am terribly sorry. It’s absolutely horrifying. It scared me so badly, to the point of actually seeking professional help. During that extreme anxiety inducing time, I was also terrified to tell a professional what was happening to me. I started with telling my husband first. What a RELIEF! I learned that telling someone made me feel so much better so I thought, man… I wonder what telling a professional would do for me? RELIEF!!!!! She helped me realize that yes this is a very very real thing people experience daily. She’s suggested therapy to pair with medication. I’ve given the medication about a year to do its thanggg and goodness, what a difference. I wish I got help earlier but hindsight is 20/20. This is me, now ready to implement therapy. I’m ready to gain a better understanding, collect coping skills and chat with people who have had similar experiences. Thinking you’re alone in OCD is incredibly isolating and scary. I am happy to finally realize I am not alone.

Hi! I have just recently been diagnosed with OCD and it’s come as kind of a shocker to me. My friends aren’t that surprised (most of them are psych majors lol) but my parents/family are very skeptical and have been telling me that it’s just anxiety. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and severe depression when I was 14. I’ve had hydroxyzine NPR since then and I’ve tried lexapro and propanalyl (both made me feel like i was going crazy) and then was misdiagnosed as having bipolar 1 (hypomania). I finally have found a therapist that specializes in OCD and we did the assessment and concluded that my anxiety/depression has stemmed from it. Most likely I have experienced my OCD symptoms since I was 11 (when my anxiety first appeared) and I am now 21. I mostly have obsessions, but I do have a few compulsions. Most of them relate to my personal space or social settings. I have a good amount of driving anxiety as well and I have a set route for every single place that I drive to regularly. I have a set morning routine that I am only comfortable with being disturbed when I have had ample time to prepare myself for a change. This new diagnosis and learning what it is and what the different types are has kind of uprooted my social life and drastically decreased my mental health. I guess I’m here to try to find some balance and some people who actually understand what it’s like to feel like there’s something wrong with your brain and no way to “fix” it. I’ve tried talking to my friends/bf/family and none of them truly understand or could even begin to imagine what it’s like inside my head. I’m just trying to find my bearings and feel the ground under my feet, but I don’t exactly know where to start.

Ever since starting ERP, my SO-OCD and general OCD has lowered. This has been great. I just wanted to have somewhere to share my thoughts and ask questions. For anyone else, have you realized that the SO-OCD and other forms of OCD are all rooted in what people have said in the past that I hadn’t processed, and up to this point believed hadn’t affected me. It was also odd because to me, I had never had a problem questioning my sexuality, even labeling myself as queer. However, this fear plagued my thoughts whether or not I decided to identity as straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc. It was so weird to me because it felt so foreign to how I’ve always been. I hated the guilt I felt over possibly being in denial or in the closet, over being homophobic, and all of that would just lead to constant stress and spiral. I felt so bad dating or being with my friends, on the off chance I was using them or going to cross lines. Progress isn’t linear, but I definetly feel so much better shedding the random fear I had of expressing affection towards my friends or of “using guys” to prove I was straight. Most of the time, I find that the stress comes from something really real. Like my past experiences with an old friend that I had or just not liking the guy I was dating and not wanting to lead him on. Being able to discern the OCD thoughts and stress from regular stress has been like a breath of fresh air.