What if it doesn’t go away for a long time?

I’ve been trying to experience my anxiety rather than pushing it away. But I feel like it resets at the start of the day. Like everytime I wake up I go through it again, with the same intensity. I’m back with my old therapist, I dropped her because I wasn’t able to afford it for a while. I don’t know how long this will take, but everyday it’s the same intensity, I feel discouraged when this is the case. What if I can experience it much longer? Like I can feel super anxious for long periods of time? I remember, 2 years ago, I was constantly worried for 1.5-2 months straight. Without a break. I’m scared I will go back to that place.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I am so sorry you are having a difficult time. Ocd is a real jerk and it is difficult to deal with on a continual basis. I think it is great that you are back in therapy. ERP does take time and practice but it does work. I share your experience of having it ramp up at the beginning of every day and it also seemed like I would go weeks without relief. I know it is hard to do - but try with everything you have to trust the process of therapy - even when OCD tells you it won’t work. Ocd wants to stay in charge and erp is it’s biggest threat. I have had ocd for 40 years and this is the best I have felt in my life since the beginning of ocd. That is not ti say I don’t have back door spikes or ocd is gone - it isn’t. What’s different for me is my response - I don’t care what ocd tells me anymore. The anxiety is there but I don’t give ocd the time of day. I would also urge you to have self compassion. This is one of the keys to recovery. This is hard to deal with, so be kind to yourself. Every victory - small or large - is a victory. Be proud of yourself and your hard work. And when you slip and compulse - all the more important to be kind - because we all do this. It is not a sign of failure - it is a sign of humanity. We are all in this together and you have got this! I hope this helps.

simsicik

Date posted: 2y

@Jeffrey Thank you Jeffrey for your response. 40 years seems insane to me just because I’m only 21 years old. This has been a 2 year journey for me so far, and I’m not sure if this is OCD, my therapist says I have some tendencies (like obsessions and compulsions I do have but they are mostly mental), but it’s GAD for sure. I just relate to a lot of OCD symptoms. I was doing good for such a long time, it’s been so long since I’ve felt like this. The methods Ive used before don’t work anymore, I can’t reason with my anxiety. I hope this will pass and I will learn how to cope with it once again, in new ways. Just all if you people’s recovery is the only thing giving me hope.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@simsicik I am so sorry. It is discouraging but if you are in erp you can discuss this with your therapist to come up with other tools. Sometimes that does happen to me. Something that worked before doesn’t work. You can also watch Nathan Peterson on you tube with lots of different ideas. We are all in this together. Have self compassion. This stuff is hard to deal with and you are doing it.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I understand I'm going through the same. If you cant afford it still theres a workbook you can get off amazon my therapist told me to get

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

By scott granet

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

The complete ocd workbook it's like self guided erp

nae nae

Date posted: 24w

Afraid I won't recover

I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(

Ericseal18

Date posted: 19w

Question

So I had a panic attack a while ago to “kill mom” and I forgot about the thought until a few days later. When it came back I was mentally drained and it lasted for 2 months or more. It eventually went away but it is back. I get other intrusive thoughts but they go away after a hour or so. Why am I stressing over “kill mom” so much. I just get irritated that it won’t go away. I’m beginning to think it’s a different mental illness maybe just anxiety? I’m not sure to be honest. It just appears and sits there and I feel like I’m doomed and a pyscho and worry that I’ll never forget the thought.

Looping

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 18w

ERP/Therapy

I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.

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What if it doesn’t go away for a long time?

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