Following god, to help through this?

To the people who believe in god, (my family is orthodox Christian) but answers from all religions welcome, do you believe that god will be able to heal you completely of this? If you go down the route of therapy, they say that there’s no cure from this and you will most likely have to deal with this your whole life, but supposedly with god all things are possible? Although my family is religious I have never been a very religious person, but willing to try anything at this point, It’s not fair that I should be sentenced to deal with this crap my whole life, because it really is like a sentence, it feels like I’m being punished for no reason, I don’t see why I should be plagued with this problem my whole life, I never had this before, my life was fine before and from watching one stupid documentary about a serial killer it’s made my life go into turmoil, and it’s only gotten worse, it went from me thinking there just intrusive thoughts to me, now believing I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing because when I imagined it to test myself for some reason that’s what it felt like. So now before I use to be worried about acting on thoughts because they felt like an urge but now that idea is backed up with ‘you liked the feeling of doing that’ so I just don’t trust myself anymore and have been feeling awful. I can’t see myself being able to live with thinking in the back of my mind that I ‘like the feeling of suffocating someone’ that’s just awful and I can’t live with the fear that I will do that because now I like it. It’s just horrible. I think it’s possible that the thought felt so real and along with the anxiety it some how translated into ‘I like the feeling’ but now I’m genuinely believing that’s the case and feel like my life is over because I understood something I shouldn’t have and now I have evil desires. It’s weird because I don’t feel like myself anymore I don’t even know who I am but when I manage to distract myself from this I feel like me again and it’s like the old me is still here but I’ve just been traumatised to the point that I feel like I don’t even know who I am. I just want my life back

Becca1996

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hey Lu! I have experienced a lot of the thoughts and feelings you are describing. I also come from a strongly Christian family! And like you, my OCD was recently sparked by something stressful, and I desperately want my life and “old me” back. Here’s a few things have helped me and might help you… - OCD symptoms often get worse due to stressful life events. You’re symptoms were going to intensify at some point because life gets stressful, and it’s good this happened now so you can learn how to respond to OCD when it tries to freak you out in the future! - Ive heard OCD therapists and advocates explain that although we will always have ocd, we can recover to the point where we no longer meet the clinical criteria for an OCD diagnosis. Woohoo! - Through recovery you will feel like yourself again, and you’ll also have tools to manage stress, anxiety and ocd that old you didn’t have - God uses tools like therapy and ERP to help us recover - I personally have asked God to heal me of OCD right away. I know that desperate feeling. Similar to your family’s orthodox Christian background, I believe that yes, technically God can heal us right away. However, He usually doesn’t snatch us out of hard things, instead he walks with us through the hard things if we invite him to. - If you’re interested in growing in your faith, now is the perfect time! Pain and desperation are often the places where our faith can either be squelched or grow the most, depending on how we approach the opportunity! I’m cheering for you and know that you are not alone in this, you really can recover from OCD!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

This is currently what I’m going through I got triggered by watching the same thing and the first few days of thoughts were now I’m praying more I went to a church event on Christmas Eve I felt better but I want to continue to attend

Anonymous

Date posted: 11w

My mind seems to be imploding in on itself

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....

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