Does anyone get OCD regarding sex?

This might be a TMI post so just fair warning. After my boyfriend and I have sex i get worried about whether i enjoyed it enough. meaning that if i didn’t enjoy it enough, that would have to mean i don’t love him/im not attracted to him, or im gay. this is weird but i know that penetrative sex isn’t supposed to feel amazing for women, from what i’ve heard. like it is supposed to feel good but not as good as like oral. im just scared it’s not feeling good enough for me or that im not enjoying it like im supposed to. i do enjoy it, obviously not as much as my boyfriend lol. i was told that it’s important i don’t avoid sex, so im doing my best to do it anyway and when im in the mood. i just get scared for the thoughts and anxiety after. does anyone have tips of what to do with the intrusive thoughts and anxiety after?

Username: anxiousmolluskanxiousmollusk

Date posted: 1y ago

I relate to this so much. I think this anxiety is actually how everything got started for me and it’s been years (so, just want to let you know that it isn’t “weird” or even tmi !). I’ve often found myself just wishing it could feel different so that I could stop this worry but obviously that won’t really happen… I often get the intrusive thoughts during, too. Here in solidarity more than actually having any suggestions 😭

Username: phew99914phew99914

Date posted: 1y ago

@anxiousmollusk thank you for reminding me i’m not alone!! it’s very hard but we can get through this :)

Username: Neutrino Neutrino

Date posted: 1y ago

What helps me is reminding yourself that those thoughts and anxieties comes from your “OCD” brain and not “your” brain. Separating and distinguishing the two as much as possible has helped me the most. I also share with my boyfriend these thoughts bc if I don’t I’ve time I feel really alienated…but I make sure to tell him beforehand that under any circumstances do not reassure me because I know the thoughts aren’t real & they’re just my ocd and I just want to share with him what’s going on in my head so he can have some insight on the troubles I face. I then tell him “My OCD is saying…(insert thought here). I’m going to talk to my therapist about it. I love you and thank you so much for being such a loving and understanding partner while I’m going through this flare up.” Idk if what I do is the right advice to give you, but it’s helped me and my partner develop even a deeper intimacy bond and helps me remember that those thoughts aren’t “real.” I’m sorry you’re going through this love ❤️ it will get better

Username: phew99914phew99914

Date posted: 1y ago

@Neutrino i really like this idea. thank you! i’m just a little scared that i will hurt his feelings by telling him my thoughts, because i’m scared he will think that is what i actually think. and then if he believes it, then i start to believe them too. so it’s hard to avoid that for me :(

Username: anxiousmolluskanxiousmollusk

Date posted: 1y ago

@Neutrino I struggled with this bc it kind of became a compulsion to tell him? And then he started feeling like I was doubting everything, because I wasn’t reassuring him enough. I had to stop over-sharing, but I think your situation is different bc I’m just now discovering what I’m dealing with might be ocd versus being diagnosed for a long time.

Username: Neutrino Neutrino

Date posted: 1y ago

@anxiousmollusk Yeah that was my hesitation with sharing that advice too! Sometimes I just only tell him “I’m having ocd thoughts” and he just hugs me and goes “it’s okay baby” and then we just leave it at that and change the subject. Kinda treating it like “hey I have a stomachache rn” or “hey I have cramps rn” type of vibe

Username: Neutrino Neutrino

Date posted: 1y ago

@phew99914 Yeah that’s really valid! I shared with anxiousmollusk another tactic I’ve done that works too-maybe that would be more helpful in this situation?

Username: phew99914phew99914

Date posted: 1y ago

@Neutrino that’s really smart! i’m going to try this! thank you so much!

Username: Ditto Ditto

Date posted: 1y ago

Same friend. I worry I’m faking enjoying it but I am 😭

Username: fruitforthought

Date posted: 3y ago

This might be TMI, but I just had sex with my boyfriend this morning and was literally in my head the entire time. Questioning myself, am I into this? Would I be more into this if he was a girl? Literally couldn’t enjoy myself fully because my mind just wouldn’t shut off. Any advice on how to shut it off? I can’t stop crying. I feel like I would actually enjoy it if I wasn’t so in my head the entire time. I’ve never had this problem before, but now it’s becoming an issue

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: PinkLotus

Date posted: 3y ago

I’m freaking out so bad I have so so so many struggles and fears around intimacy with my boyfriend that it truly feels like I don’t want to have sex with him but I do I want to so badly and I want to enjoy things with him so much. But yet I can only enjoy it when I really really focus on it so doesn’t that mean I’m forcing it??? Like if I just try to do it without thinking about everything I won’t be able to enjoy it so does that mean I’ll never be able to truly let go of that bc I don’t actually enjoy it? I don’t want to have sex with a girl not at all and I don’t want anyone else to be with my partner like that but me. So why can’t I enjoy it freely? Like if I don’t focus on it I won’t even want to. I hate myself , I feel like a monster and like there’s something wrong with me.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: kytalker

Date posted: 1y ago

Help

Hi everyone! I just wanted to see if anyone else felt the way that I did about something related to SO-OCD… I’m finally discovering that I might have this sub genre of OCD and have had it for a very long time. I have always felt awkward around other women especially in more intimate situations (like changing in the same room, laying in bed together or giving compliments about looks). All of this hit me like a ton of bricks when I got into a relationship with my boyfriend 2 years ago and our sex life started to decline after about 9 months of us being together. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and I obsess over finding out why I have grown not attracted to him sexually. Am I a lesbian? Am I just depressed? Am I falling out of love with him? Was I ever in love with him? The list goes on and my obsession with it grows stronger. I’m so scared I will have to break up with him because I do love him and love spending time with him. I’m scared to start ERP therapy because I’m worried I’ll realize that it’s best to just let him go 😭

Sexual Orientation OCD

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Does anyone get OCD regarding sex?

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