it feels awful to know i do not deserve reassurance because i am sick. why can’t i have it? it makes me feel appreciated and i give it to everyone around me. i only want it because NO ONE in my life tells me with their words that they appreciate me the way i do to them. why? its just not fair.
Ask yourself what’s happened every ti e you’ve been given reassurance due to your OCD. Because that only makes it worse and you will NEVER be able to out-logic or reassure OCD into calming down. Hence why seeking reassurance is not ever recommended even though it’s hard to deal with. Sit with the uncertainty and all other negative emotions now so you gradually let your mind/OCD know what’s going on is NOT dangerous. The more you give into your OCD, the worse it gets because you’re signaling to your OCD that it is indeed doing a great job and whatever the theme/topic at hand, is really dangerous.
Also, don’t think of it as not “deserving” reassurance. Think of it as reassurance not being healthy for your ocd recovery!
You’re feelings are extremely valid. With OCD reassurance only feeds it and makes it bigger, it gives us short term relief but in the long term only makes our world so much smaller. If you’re seeking out appreciating I believe that’s different when there’s no sense of urgency behind it. It’s not that’s you don’t deserve it like the comments about said, it’s just a compulsion that isn’t helpful on our journeys. Are you currently working with a NOCD therapist? Have you tried using self compassion skills? Those are something I lacked and have been a great help in my treatment.
When we have OCD reassurance makes us worse because it is a compulsion and when we do compulsions we feed OCD and it becomes an endless cycle. It is not about deserving. It is about freedom from OCD and getting healthy, healing and staying in recovery from OCD. We do not have to stay "sick" in OCD. Resisting compulsions such as reassurance seeking is how we obtain healing. I'm glad for you that no one is giving you that reassurance. In them not giving that to you they are actually showing you how much they do love and care about you, because they are helping you to get better. It does suck in the moment, but it is what's best. If they told you what your OCD wants you to hear in order to feel loved and appreciated how long would it take OCD to need to hear it again? That is why you can't have reassurance. Stop the compulsion so your mind can actually believe you are appreciated. That is the way!
Can someone explain to me why reassurance is bad for OCD?? I often have overwhelming anxiety that my boyfriend is upset with me. So I will sometimes ask him if we’re good. Even though nothing has happened to suggest anything is wrong. He knows I have terrible anxiety so he never makes me feel bad for asking. And as soon as I’ve asked I feel better.
the fact that reassurance feeds the ocd and is also what we desperately need more than anything is literally sadistic. like what kind of overkill is that.
i feel like the worst person in the world. im not asking for reassurance, but im sure people can relate. this shit is so hard.
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