Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Need advice :( cheating thoughts?

Suffering from false memories a lot right now. But one recent thought i had was "what if I've thought of cheating" and my stomach dropped making me feel like its true because it felt like a familiar memory??? Idk if that makes sense and now i feel compelled to confess but even if i did have a bad thought like that I didn't act on anything so why am i feeling CONSUMED WITH GUILT i love my partner soso much the thought of hurting him kills me

bugsuitcase

Date posted: 2y

Having intrusive thoughts like that, are normal. Even if you care and love someone it happens. I had the same thoughts alot in relationships. Not once did I cheat. But I was the one who got cheated on a couple times. From what I'm reading. The guilt and remorse you have for even having an intrusive thought, makes you a great person.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@bugsuitcase Thanks for the reply! I think even though i didnt voice anything or act on anything the fact i had that thought and at the time thought it was ok to have that thought makes ne feel so bad. I also don’t even know if i had that thought because this occurrence was around 2 years ago but idk why i would feel this guilty if it didnt happen if that makes sense?

bugsuitcase

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous It's totally okay to think. Intrusive thoughts are not who you are. I have intrusive thoughts all the time. And causes me to suffer from anxiety. But I find writing them down and looking at them later helps. Or writing them on a piece of paper and burning it. If the event happened two years ago, I suggest sitting with the thoughts and learning to forgive it.

bugsuitcase

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I'm also not a specialist on the matter, but this is from how I learned to cope a bit. I'm still learning to ways to cope.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@bugsuitcase Thabk you so much- i really appreciate the advice!

Anneis

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Hey :) this sounds really horrible for you. I experienced something similar a couple of years ago. The more I tried to remind myself of reality, the worse the false memories and intrusive thoughts became. Do you have a therapist you’re seeing at the moment? As bugsuitcase suggested, speaking with your partner may also be really helpful. I thought I was crazy for so long because I didn’t know other people had these thoughts. Just know you’re not alone. Sorry to hear your going through this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Sienna90 I dont really know what to say to my partner, he doesn’t fully understand which i get because i think you only fully get it when you have ocd. But when i told him about my false memory ages ago he was very supportive - i just dont want to confess :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Sienna90 Its just horrible though i don’t think that I would ever have this thought but i feel so guilty 😭

Anneis

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I hear you. I still have flashbacks of that particular false memory and still feel the guilt, even though I am aware it’s a fabricated thought. I still haven’t found a therapist because damn they’re expensive, but I suggest books, audiobooks, podcasts, etc. I’ve now equipped myself with more tools to deal with false memories when they flow in.

Anneis

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous Unfortunately you can’t stop the thoughts, but you can absolutely manage how you address them. It can get better :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Anneis Thanks so much! I listen to mark freeman and ali greymond! I find them so helpful maybe check them out :’)

bugsuitcase

Date posted: 2y

And if you talk about it (it's hard to do but it's pretty saying it out loud) with your partner, he should understand. If he doesn't, leave him.

Fightingocd

Date posted: 2y

I know this feeling where you just want to confess and then you’re like but I didn’t do it but the false memories just feel so true it’s really hell 😥❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@emnav Yeah because my interaction was so long ago i cant remember if these thoughts actually happened! 😭😭 i didn’t act on it though but im so disappointed if i actually thought these things

User17annon

Date posted: 23w

Please help 😞

I have false memory real event ocd, I’ve been married 13 years and I used to constantly bring up past mistakes from when we were dating and it RUINED our marriage, but I got medication and therapy and things got better untill a few weeks ago where everything crumbled. I have a memory that is 13 years ago of me being intimate with my husband (than boyfriend) while being intimate I have a memory of sending a text to a male who obviously liked me but I didi not while my husband was under the covers . And I keep thinking over and over how disgusting and inappropriate it was to do that especially doing it in the middle of being intimate 😞. I have confessed this to my husband last year and he didint believe me saying it’s probably a made up memory and would are not a slut and wouldn’t do that. Now i have guilt all over again for weeks and it’s taking such a toll on me it’s all I think about and try to remember every detail I’ve thought about it so much I don’t even know if it’s 100 percent true. But I can vividly see it when I close my eyes. How do I get over this guilt without confessing? Confessing would absolutely destroy my husband.

.Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

ROCD/False Memory

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

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