- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I would recommend you get another therapist. She probably doesn’t specialize in ocd. I think she’s trying her best but she doesn’t actually know what is going on. It’s ok she doesn’t know how you actually feel don’t be upset!!
- Date posted
- 6y
@Afazz that's true, not matter how true the thoughts seem you get those incredibly distressing moments and you just want to scream TAKE THIS THING AWAY FROM ME, it's not freeing it's like being in forced to wear a dress you don't like idk if this makes sense loo
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh no that’s so triggering. I think she was trying to say that if you enjoy a thought it’s not intrusive. I don’t think she was necessarily talking about you in general
- Date posted
- 6y
No she was talking about my thoughts. I told her about a tocd thought and about my hocd thoughts and I think she thinks I have some kind of sexuality/gender dysphoria. I want to cry so hard and crawl in my mind. This is not helping me at all, I need help and I need it asap
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s so triggering ughhh,,, it even triggered me into thinking the only reason I don’t like this is because I won’t be accepted and I’m in denial or something
- Date posted
- 6y
She's great but she's not an ocd specialist. And at this point I'm truly tired. I wish my parents would listened to me the first time. I don't know what to do now. Trying to find a specialist now. This summer will go down the drain
- Date posted
- 6y
@bella I know right!! Being in denial right now is what spikes me the most and that was a slap in the face
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah!! I saw a story where a trans person was in denial for so long so it’s like, what if I don’t even need to be uncomfortable in my body? What if I don’t even need to want it? I could be trans anyway :/
- Date posted
- 6y
Well a lot of the time when people are in denial they know. They know their that way they just don’t want to admit it. Us on the other hand don’t want that we know we aren’t that way. We might have doubts because of ocd but we know we’re not that way. If that makes since?
- Date posted
- 6y
I guess so. But reading that my ocd replicates it and makes it feel like I know I’m that way or something
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I know but you also know you aren’t that way. Like deep down you don’t want to be that way and it doesn’t feel right so it’s not you! I know it’s not that easy to just say “it’s not me” but if you kind of know sometimes that helps
- Date posted
- 6y
@Afazz yes it does :) it's not even knowing, gay people don't think about it they just act on it. They don't need time to become gay, they are lol. But ocd makes you feel like some kind of special case or whatever. Reassurance doesn't even reassure me anymore yet I need it
- Date posted
- 6y
@Bella I read something like that too, but I feel it's just not realistic in a way. We don't need to go through life to know we are straight, trans people know so do gay poeple. But those things mess our minds up. Someone who actually is wouldn't even pay mind to it
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah ocd is a bitch, but gay people don’t even question it. Like before ocd we didn’t question if we were straight we just were! Ocd sucks lol
- Date posted
- 6y
Lol*
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I wouldn't question my attraction to boys I was happy that way. I experienced ocd and intrusive thoughts even before this episode of hocd, and that's was the only time I'd feel scared but it lasted a minute and I was back to normal
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah, ok, makes sense! It worries me slightly because as a female experiencing some discrimination or gender biases (also being objectified) makes it feel like I’m trans if I don’t want to be seen just for my body -_- isn’t that just ridiculous
- Date posted
- 6y
@bella yeah I know exactly how you feel :) ocd takes advantages of those things. It's like when a boy tries to hit on you but you're not attracted and you refuse him and your mind goes like that's because you're gay, hell not. It's worse because as women we're objectified and that plays a role also on our self esteem and lack of self esteem drives ocd crazy. I was looking myself in the mirror and my mind went like "You're non binary" "you look like a masculine woman" "you're too ugly to be straight" and blah blah
- Date posted
- 6y
Same!! Exactly OMG.. it’s also like, you’re not lucky enough or pretty enough to be female?? As if??
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah mine actually did that today, a boy texted me and he said I was really pretty but I just wasn’t interested in him. He was really sweet it just wasn’t you know what I wanted. So when I told him that my mind instantly made it something it wasn’t. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you’re gay. It’s dumb and I’m tired of the bullshit
- Date posted
- 6y
(1) You need someone who specializes in OCD because the treatment is super specific and certain techniques that help other disorders don’t help OCD. (2) I’m sorry you have to deal with this massive trigger! Since you don’t seem to have a great therapist, I’m not sure if you know about or practice ERP therapy, but this is actually a great opportunity to practice exposing yourself. How to: Write out the story of what she said, how it made you feel, and what you fear will happen because of it. Record yourself saying the story. Listen to it again and again for about 5 min. Resist the urge to do any compulsions (ie analyze your thoughts/response, looking into your past for signs, mental/physical checking, etc.) Just listen to the story, sit with the anxiety, and pay attention as the anxiety dissipates over time. Do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next. Make the exposure time longer each week. Keep track of your anxiety levels and note them down somewhere. Compare them week to week and month to month to see progress. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
- Date posted
- 20w
Whenever I have a non flirtatious, friendly interaction with a male my brain accuses me of cheating. I go into a full panic attack until I tell my husband then it goes away Same thing with intrusive thoughts. I'll have a random sexual thought about someone and my brain tells me that since I thought that it must be what I wanted and accuses me of cheating. Sometimes these thoughts come with actually physical feelings of what intruded. Thoughts of "what would it be like .." but I stop myself and then freak the flip out. With erp am I just supposed to let the sexual thoughts or accusations play out in my head?! It's excruciatingly painful. Also if I sit there and give into a sexual thoughts paired with the "mood" feelings how is that not mentally cheating 😵💫
- Date posted
- 17w
Today I had my first appointment with my new therapist in a clinic and she told me that my thoughts could be because of my past trauma and that it’s what makes most people pedos. I’m so in distress right now, I don’t want to hurt people but she made me feel like I’m disgusting
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond