- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
This is pretty classic ROCD. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I can’t tell from your story if you have prior experience working through OCD — you mention images so maybe you’ve dealt with it in a more visual way before. Many people experience it as thoughts, not images, or even both. You’re going to want to do a few things: (1) learn about ERP therapy and mindfulness, so you can deal with the thoughts and anxiety they cause. (2) forgive yourself and give yourself some compassion. I’m concerned that you think she “deserves better” when this is something difficult happening to YOU, not her. In fact, this probably has nothing to do with her other than the fact that you really care about her and your brain works a little different because of OCD. The road ahead isn’t easy, but you can do it. Next time you’re facing these thoughts, don’t engage with them by trying to answer or understand or reason with them. Just let them happen, acknowledge them, sit with the anxiety until it passes, and then move on.
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s so hard not to! But that’s the whole point: have the thought, don’t do the compulsion, slowly get better.
- Date posted
- 6y
Let ask you this, say your good friend came to you with this exactly story? What insight would you tell him or her to help them. Really think about this question and lmk.
- Date posted
- 6y
Don't quite understand your comment
- Date posted
- 6y
As in, your friend comes to you with this exact story and is asking you for your help. What is it you would say to him or her
- Date posted
- 6y
Wish I knew. Because I don't fully understand it. Usually I can try to understand or formulate my thoughts, but not sure what this even is.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for this pureolife. I do suffer from unique thoughts about things travelling fast (like sped up) and I can't shake them, I'll try to find a way to calm the thoughts, avoiding some things that trigger me. Although they're unique to me and trauma I experienced at a young age, they're essentially intrusive thoughts. So this is something new, but I feel so guilty about it. I never OCD manifested as thoughts like "I hate you" (for example) when you see someone you love. So if true, this is something new I have learnt. Although my thoughts are never usually anything like this, tend to be as described previously. So scared that something else may be happening to me. Thanks for your comment, really appreciate it.
- Date posted
- 6y
I actually WOULDN’T recommend avoiding these thoughts. OCD is by nature paradoxical: the more you avoid or suppress the more you tell your brain “this is clearly important!” which makes them happen more often and intensely. In fact, the only way to overcome an OCD theme is to expose yourself to it purposefully: think it without responding, analyzing, or trying to neutralize it. Sit with the anxiety until it diminishes. Repeat. Over time, your brain becomes habituated to the thought and doesn’t provoke anxiety anymore. And it stops meaning as much to you. There are sections in the app on ERP therapy and ROCD. Do some more research, don’t just take it from me. The treatment is hard, but it works.
- Date posted
- 6y
So what your saying is purposely think about the thoughts that trigger you and sit with the distress?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yup! Over time, your distress levels will go down. It can take weeks to months, it totally depends on the person. It takes a lot of bravery and grit to sit with negative emotions, but it’s the only way to heal and you’ll be a much stronger, sane person for it.
- Date posted
- 6y
I made a post about this before where i asked if i should set a timer for a period of time think thoughts that upset me to try and habituate to them. Your saying i should do this?
- Date posted
- 6y
Lots of people start off with a timed session, yeah. Start with 5 min everyday for a week. Then 10. Then 20. You may find that you like the structure and feel safer in a timed “bad thoughts” space. But you may also decide to take the practice into the real world as it’s happening: you’re looking at your gf and think something bad, rather than try to push it away or explain it, you sit with it until it dissipates. You may use mindfulness to watch the thought happen, acknowledge it, and then let it keep floating away without holding onto it. Different techniques work for different people at different times: experiment! But never avoid. That doesn’t work.
- Date posted
- 6y
Just know: it may take awhile to start feeling better and no one is perfect. If you are struggling for awhile, it’s okay. This is a sucky process but it gets better. Good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
Ok, i struggle with magical thinking ocd. So my thoughts are all over the place but ill try thinking of things that trigger me and think if them for about 45sec i think i can do that. Just going to be hard not to do a compulsion afterward lol
- Date posted
- 6y
So i just set a timer for 45sec and did some erp with my obsessive thoughts, wasn’t fun lol but now the thoughts wont leave. Any suggestions?
- Date posted
- 6y
If you’re trying to make the thoughts “leave” you’re doing it wrong. The whole point is to have the thoughts. And sit with the anxiety they make you feel. Eventually, the anxiety will dissipate. Repeat. There are a few steps to recovery but the first is learning to have the thoughts without anxiety or responding to them (ie trying to get rid of them, understand them, check how they make you feel, etc.) Keep at it. You do the exposure and the thoughts are happening and won’t stop. That’s okay! Let them come. They’re thoughts. They won’t hurt you. And you’re going to feel anxious. Anxiety won’t hurt you either. It’s just going to feel uncomfortable for while. When do the thoughts stop? When you actually stop caring about whether they happen or not anymore. And that takes time. You’ve done one session. Give yourself a week or two and check in to see if there’s a difference. Think in weeks, not minutes or days.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I am diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and mild depression. But my OCD symptoms are so prominent in my daily life where it feels debilitating. It comes in waves, there will be months with very minor symptoms and other times where it comes in random hitting me like a truck making me rethink life. I grew up having intrusive thoughts of all types, and a lot of them sent me over the edge because I couldn’t understand why things of such sort would cross my mind, things that I’m sure to this day that I’m incapable of or would never want to actually do. Yet I find myself in a constant cycle of trying to dig deep in the past and trying to figure out if I ever acted on any of the intrusive thoughts I can remember, yet ofc have no recollection of acting on them because they most likely didn’t happen. However, not having concrete proof of these things makes me not want to see another day sometimes. It is so hard to move into daily basis like this. I’m also in a happy healthy relationship and sometimes I get these thoughts of “what if I’ve done something awful during the relationship (for example, cheat, dishonesty, etc.) and can’t remember?” I know I would never do anything intentionally to harm my relationship and I think that maybe the idea of not having my partner sends me down a rabbit hole to think all these things. This mental fight is getting harder and harder. It feels unbearable. Does anyone have some fruit for thought, relate, or have any tips?
- Date posted
- 23w
Hi Everyone! I hope whoever is reading this is having a good day so far :) So for years now I’ve had very bad intrusive thoughts about things that I have done or embarrassing things that I’ve said or have happened and it’s mortifying and debilitating on a daily basis. Specifically these thoughts are mainly things that have occurred from 2018-2020 and some are more simple just as a stupid joke I made or being way too loud on calls while my family was trying to sleep and others being way more complex such as past relationships and how I’ve hurt some of the people I care the most about and when I have acted on intrusive thoughts and these thoughts will appear with no triggers at all I’ll just wake up and already have something I did just nagging me. I don’t want to live like this anymore and I’ve tried working through it with self compassion but sometimes the things I said or did back then it’s very hard to forgive myself for and I’ll reminisce on it for hours on hours, gaslight myself into believing that’s not how it happened and try to change the memory itself, or just suppress it entirely. I know those habits aren’t healthy and truly I want to get better but I don’t know how to overcome some of these thoughts. I have talked to my fiancé about this a few times and even today we talked about it and he fully supports me and is helping me work through it. I might also contact my sister too, I don’t talk to her overly too much but ever since I was little she’s thought I’ve had ocd and was one of the people who made me consider that I might have it (I’m still undiagnosed but I’ll try to when I have the money and time) and I know she could maybe provide some insight. Another thing that is troublesome about the situation is my other family members specifically my mom aren’t the most helpful and can trigger thoughts. To put it in perspective on how her thought process is and some background info she is an ER nurse and has been for 30 years due to this she believes she knows mainly everything there is about mental health and she gets extremely upset when I don’t take her advice or set boundaries. She’ll force me to talk to her about my problems and when I don’t want to she’ll pin me in a corner where I’m forced to and last summer I had a really bad episode and was really overstimulated and I just finished taking a shower and due to the water on me, my hair being wet (my hair is naturally curly and it takes forever to dry and it’s very draining taking care of even with a keratin treatment) and all the intrusive thoughts I was having and she forced me to talk to her and I did open up for the first time about my thoughts and brought up how sometimes I have thoughts of hurting my animals and it makes me physically sick. Her response to this was threatening to call the cops on me saying it was a behavioral thing and I was doing it for attention. I have never hurt any of my animals but later that day my cat came into my room and a few minutes later she comes up just gives me the death stare and after a few seconds just asks me “are you going to go kill snickers?” In the most condescending tone and she’s always like this daily where she’ll force advice onto me or get upset and yell and then reinforce thoughts I’m having. I just want to know first how to stop the thoughts from so frequently and how to heal in an environmental where it keeps reopening wounds despite trying to place boundaries? I’m sorry this is really long I usually do go really in detail about things and it’s just how I’ve always been. If anyone has any questions feel free to ask and I’ll answer them to the best of my ability. I really appreciate the time you took to read this and thank you for your help! 🥰
- Date posted
- 20w
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
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