HOCD, POCD and intrusive feelings

It’s like the intrusive feelings are just consistently present… and then when I try to see my reaction to the intrusive thoughts, It makes me think I’m in denial when I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual in any way… plus it’s making me think I acted on my intrusive urges with this explicit anime content recently. I had no idea what the girls age was, but seeing as how there were signs indicating she was over the age of 18, I ended up m/o’ing to it… my POCD is making me think I’m in denial because of this… plus my HOCD is making it feel so real… making me feel like I’m either in denial or making me feel like I want the thoughts when I dont… plus sudden intrusive thoughts of dudes doing explicit stuff to me when I dont ever want to ever do anything with any guy in any way shape or form…

🚀

Date posted: 2y

I’m not a therapist and you should really get with one that specialized in OCD but here are my thoughts because I see you post a lot: “Seeing your reaction” sounds like a checking compulsion and is only making it worse- I think you know this by now and should really work on stopping it. And I think you spend a lot of time ruminating over your real events and whether you want to be these things and whether they make you bad or not etc. which is also making it worse. Why don’t you try spending 1 full day not engaging with your thoughts and see how you feel? Spend 1 full day not trying to figure any of this out or thinking about your real events or how you don’t want to be certain things and just go about 1 full day as if you didn’t have any of these thoughts or feelings and see how you feel. And then when that day is over, dont engage it again the next day. I think soon you might realize you’ll start feeling better. I want to see you feeling better and you are strong for making it this far already!

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@🚀 I was looking at women my age and above doing explicit things online (I’m not in my private time at that point) and I was getting this "sweet" feeling in my stomach while getting intrusive thoughts... but when I'm in my private time doing it to the women, the feeling in my stomach goes away... but the intrusive thoughts are still there… my HOCD is saying that I have feelings for the intrusive thoughts when I dont ever want to ever have feelings for the intrusive thoughts in any way shape or form… I only want to ever be with women my age and above

kratotos

Date posted: 2y

Unless you were fapping to loli, the age of a fictional anime character is totally irrelevant since the drawing is clearly depicting someone with adult proportions

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@kratotos I have real events OCD and POCD based on that content when I was 17-18… I had no idea what that type of content was…

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@kratotos I didn't know what the content was in any way at the time or what it represented… and while I avoided most of the content, the videos of them had millions of views, both the videos and the fanfics / comics were on public sites, and some of the creators said they were 18 in some of the videos, so I thought it was safe to watch...

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w

I’m freaking out please help

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19w

Masterbation OCD/real event OCD

I'm 17 years old I struggle with addiction I have a problem when I masterbate I have intrusive thoughts idk if I think them I'm so scared also back then I know when I was younger I looked at obscure things hentai all that my idk what to do even I feel like I'm a monster or im a bad person I need help I feel so distraught I feel like I can't live life to the fullest anymore even from last year I looked at content that was animated but it had a character in it that was underage I felt so ashamed and felt like a monster I had a compulsion to check it only to find out they are not around my age range idk what to do I probably sound like a freak I'm sorry I'm always trying to replay my memory and try to remember my intention and what I was doing how I come across how I was doing a action yk all that

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HOCD, POCD and intrusive feelings

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