Ocd, an over protective parent

I used to view my own thoughts as the enemy, telling me awful things that scared the shit out of me, not very helpful. I’m now trying to view my ocd thoughts, based on what I’ve learnt so far, as if coming from an over protective parent. Like as if I was going for a walk my brain will go “it might rain, better get ready for it, I know it’s sunny, but what if” and my response being “ah, it’s you again, thank you for looking out for me, yup maybe you’re right, it might rain, but right now it’s not raining, I’m gonna take my chances and not worry, and so what if I get wet, I’ll survive” (made up example with no triggers, unless you’re scared of rain, then I’m sorry) I’m gonna try using this method on heavier stuff, see how it goes, viewing my thoughts as enemy seems to make it worse

Anoymous

Date posted: 2y

I agree with you. I do not label ocd as the enemy that needs to be fought since it is after all my mind, and the way it functions and I just need to understand it better and improve management of it.

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous Yup, I’m happy to have found out I have ocd, this was recent, completely accepting I have it, very recently. It’s made so much sense what’s been going on for so long. It’s already become slightly easier now I’ve started to understand what’s going on in my mind. And I’ll also say that trying to help oneself through therapy, yoga, mindfulness etc, when you have ocd but don’t know you have it, can often be really painful

Anoymous

Date posted: 2y

@Mowgli I’ll be honest, when I first realized/experienced how debilitating it can be I struggled with acceptance, even when I know making it the enemy didn’t make sense. I’m glad acceptance came easier for you. I agree that just by understanding it better it starts to make a big difference.

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous I don’t know if it came easy, I’m 50 years old, first signs of it was when I was 6-7 years old, so it’s been a long time suffering

Anoymous

Date posted: 2y

@Mowgli I hear you. I’m mid-40s and first obvious signs were at age 12 but not debilitating but likely it was there always and the source of suffering I associated with being sensitive and feeling emotions deeply. Life has been HARD but I didn’t know why as I didn’t have a debilitating theme until recently and that’s when I had to come to terms with having OCD the disorder that’s more than just repetitive checking and it was hard at firsts.

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous We have similar stories, all my life this has affected me, had no idea what was going on. Then about 5 years ago came the mother of all themes, resulting in me on suicide watch, and was put on an antipsychotic (which I’m still tapering off) luckily I stumbled on the ocd stories podcast and started to have a growing awareness of what’s been going on

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous Ahh I can see how you thought I had an easy time accepting from what I wrote, it wasn’t like that, it’s only been very recently, like just before Xmas, and it’s more like I don’t have any other choice, somethings shifted in me where I can see clearer what I need to do and why, that’s made things easier, maybe easier is the wrong word, as it’s still hard everyday, it’s become more straight foward, I don’t feel as confused

Anoymous

Date posted: 2y

@Mowgli Yes! I can relate re: clarity.

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous I’m always happy when I come across someone who’s older that was diagnosed late (not happy for their suffering obv) but I feel safer in myself and journey knowing this is common, as you know this story is a special kind of hell

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous ERP on that debilitating theme scares the shit out of me, not going there yet

Anoymous

Date posted: 2y

@Mowgli 😅 I know what you mean, when I first joined NOCD I wondered if there were other older folks…I don’t know why it felt nice to know that yes indeed there are. And there are lots…it seems many with similar stories.

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

The Tuesday 5pm group (uk time) is really good, lots of older folks with late diagnosis, see you there if you go

Mowgli

Date posted: 2y

@Aaanonymous They have been a lot better than I expected

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